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Islamic State has Secured Nuclear Weapons!



Paris - It is an event many had feared, Islamic terrorists have secured thermonuclear weapons. While the possibility of terrorist groups getting their hands on the nuclear stockpiles of the formerly unified Hellenic Forces for years authorities had been able to prevent it by strategically moving the weapons throughout more civilized territory. 


In a statement to the regional press Caliph al-Nisan has announced the succesful transfer of glorious bombs from a Hellenic Air Force base to the IS' Air Force. He went on to announce that Hakim, known for such attacks as the Damascus bicycle bombing and Istanbul unicycle terror will be the first to deliver these weapons to the devil and force open the gates to paradise. 


Caliph al-Nisan finally concluded in saying that the discovery of the thermonuclear weapons would greatly boost the antimatter bomb project the Islamic State is currently working on.


A spokesperson for the Franco-Iberian Union expressed strong concerns at the existence of a nuclear Islamic state with the ability to reach most nations on the globe with its weapons. Al-Nisan would be the first to use nuclear weapons in a conflict that has so far seen all weapons utilized except those.

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"This is a disturbing turn of events, to allow such powerful and destructive weapons to remain in the hands of what is little better than a terrorist organisation is unacceptable. For global security this Islamist State was be destroyed to the last man. An international task force under an UN mandate would likely be the best choice".


-Rist Confederation

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