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Good evening, and welcome to this special edition of This Week in the Network, your number one source for all news orange and pulpy from that shining beacon of peace and friendship, the Orange Defense Network.  I'm your host Schattenmann, TWiN is on!

 

Lay of the Land

Tonight we're pleased to bring you this special international edition of TWiN.  For those of you who haven't been paying attention, here's the scoop. 

On January 22, 2014, DBDC declared war on World Task Force in sport to celebrate its second anniversary. 

Per usual, DBDC nations have been swapping AAs between IRON, Doom Squad, Swash Plates and Tail Rotors, Dark Templar, etc.  WTF has not played the game, continuing their defense regardless.  And so the stage was set for the kind of drama that has always been set up by DBDC's dual membership partners.

 

The Case of Noob Cake

One nation in particular, Noob Cake, has sought to escape justice by applying to the Orange Defense Network, prompting a diplomatic mission to ask when the war would end.

And were that the end of it, my friends, what a boring show this would be indeed.

 

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Fortunately for us, ODN's diplomat began his visit with undertones that the Network is done with this war and so should be WTF.

Rankled, and rightly so, by this interloping and already fired up by two months of war, WTF's members gave an ear-burning reply to Shinnra. 

 

As the responses heated up, Shinnra was joined by newly-minted Secretary General Peaches and bucovina, who apparently arrived to throw gasoline on the fire

 

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Peaches of course lightens the situation by calling WTF a pack of savages for responding in anger to ODN's thinly-veiled threats.  I do believe he might even have got some mud on the edge of his petticoats.

 

bucovina, not being an actual diplomat but a concerned citizen on a private mission, chimes in

 

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Yes, why don't you mind your manners, WTF, because ODN is here to tell you that you take those threats with a smile and say thank you or we're coming back with a thousand school marms to knock some manners into your knuckles.

 

And so they went round.  WTF has made clear that they will defend themselves until they have had their fill, and that is not likely anytime soon.  ODN's diplomatic mission finally punctuated their point once more:

 

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Something else.  Scary stuff.

 

All this begs the question, what in Mod's name were they thinking?  It is clear that ODN believed WTF to be naïve and so stupid as to be pliable by the most blunt conversation.  These are not the overtures of practiced diplomats, but what we might expect from a startup protectorate. 

Clearly, a new approach was needed.  A reboot in the tradition of foreign affairs reboots.

 

Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

And now we come to the final act in this comedy of errors.  Sensing that ODN's first thread had run its course, Secretary General Peaches sough to reset the diplomatic process by opening a new thread.  Now, bear with me, folks, I know reading hurts, but you want to catch all the patronization, all the lies, all the condescension here in its entirety, you won't be disappointed.

 

 

A note to the WTF

(Firstly some clarity as to identities. I'm the Secretary General of the Orange Defense Network, the official leader and spokesperson for the network)

Before I get onto this situation, I think there was some misunderstanding about who we are and what we do. I can't blame any of you for that. War has a way of pinching nerves and tensions are high. I also apologise for not taking more of an active role in the other thread. I've been having some very interesting conversations with some of your membership though - both productive, friendly and informative - and it is clear that thread was not going to accomplish this.

Before moving onto anything else I'd like to make a few statements about who and what the ODN is and does for those who are not aware in order to address some misconceptions. The ODN is the oldest democratic alliance in the game. We are also a defensive alliance. As such, to suggest we follow anyone else's lead comes from a misconception of how one vote for one nation works with 150 members in a defensive, democratic alliance.

I'd now like to specifically make a statement about this situation and the reasons we had for coming here. We'd heard a great deal about what was going on, but we wanted to find out for ourselves. This was simply a fact finding mission. We gather data and we report back to our general assembly and allies what we have discovered. We are fundamentally diplomatic and we advocate fairness, white peace, and an environment that creates enjoyment for all. I hope that offers some better understand of who we are, and that if we had any initial intentions they consisted only in attempting to find a diplomatic solution that would lead to peace for all. But as you must be aware, just as you judge our responses, we judge yours.

Beyond a sometimes rough exterior (and some obviously rude members who clearly have no diplomatic experience) I've had some excellent conversations with members who are intelligent, thoughtful and would be a credit to any alliance - in fact I would go so far as to consider two of you friends at this point. But now I need to bluntly ask a couple of questions - I'll explain the context first - but I would be grateful for some honest answers. Please remember you are not just responding to me, but to all nations and alliances watching this situation unfold.

You and DBDC have different approaches, even opposing ones. They are politically active and war orientated while you are peaceful and nation-building orientated. These are different approaches, and they place you fully at odds with each other no doubt: but the general themes of these positions are that while some now recently started to claim that our world is broken because of aggressive super nations, others have long looked to the absurdity of having neutral alliances in an environment designed for political simulation. My point is simply that you have different viewpoints and that for you to assume you have the absolute moral high-ground is the folly of all nations to have ever existed. You simply have different viewpoints and you are in a war. I hope that in a moment of calm reflection you can see this as an accurate portrayal of this situation.

As such, whether you want to call this a raid, a war, an unprovoked attack, the fact is that this this is simply a war and nothing more. Many of us have had hundreds of them and wars must end.

Now as an alliance, we believe in white peace, we believe in reasonable war lengths, and we believe in a friendly and moderate environment that is enjoyable for all. We do what we can to cultivate this, and this is why we have come here. The problem is that it seems from some of your statements that many of you no longer wish to be a part of this community, that you are taking this as your excuse to burn out while hurting others. We, and much of the world find this troublesome and a fundamental rejection of values deeper than the ones some of you moralistically espouse when slamming DBDC.

You have done serious damage, you've gained some respect, and you have ensured nobody is going to see you as an easy target - so at this point what more? As such my final question for you now is this, are you still a part of this community? Do you have a reasonable time-frame for this war? Or are you simply moralising a final burn out?

I and the inhabitants of Bob respectfully await your response.

 

The Final Word

We here at This Week are incensed.  We're incensed that ODN has threatened to intervene in the WTF-DBDC War because ODN has decided it's time for the war to end.  We're incensed that the Secretary General has made such undeniably wild claims.

 

Now you listen here, Mr. Secretary General,

 

I believe there are far more opportunities here than you think. For instance, just look at this. There are numerous diplomats signing up to your forums daily, a fascinating and enjoyable debate being conducted - and was any of this expected?

 

I think I speak for all of us (as usual) when I say we're just here for the fireworks.  I for one understand, appreciate, and respect WTF's isolationism, and I don't imagine they think of a diplomat rush to watch your trainwreck as an opportunity.

I was reticent about posting, but your speech is geared toward an international audience because you're on CNtel and because you know we're watching.  I for one find your entire speech to be . . . wild.
ODN is not the oldest democracy, that's GATO.  ODNistas vote at rates as low as 13% (during war, when activity is highest); Polaris is an autocracy with an elected council, our last election saw 32% participation.
ODN is not in the slightest a "defensive" alliance.  You are an alliance that "defends" allies by disregarding all circumstance.  When MK attacked NPO for no reason except to curb their growth, you followed.  Now DBDC has attacked WTF for no reason except to remove them and curb their growth, you will follow.  In this last war, too, begun by bald aggression to deliberately start a global war, ODN was right there beside its allies where it will always be and where it belongs.  You are an aggressive alliance to your core because you do what you're asked and "don't let friends burn."
ODN is not an alliance that favors white peace.  You favor whatever your allies favor (as you've said here over and over) and if your allies want reps, ODN's military, membership, and government are behind them as you did in the Doom House-NPO War.  If ODN is in any way "for" white peace right now it is because that is simply the prevailing sentiment and ODN is nothing if not followers, because your elementary "friends" foreign policy precludes all judgement or autonomy.  It doesn't matter why, it only matters who.  And as your longest-serving Secretary General OsRavan has said in a rare moment of clarity, "When you back something with military force in a coalition you don't get to shift the blame."

You frame this war as an inevitable clash of cultures.  It is anything but!  WTF's culture is in no way in conflict with DBDC's culture.  There is nothing intrinsically at odds between these two alliances.  This is a war of opportunistic election on DBDC's part, and if ODN enters it will be the same: opportunistic aggression.  This is not a clash of cultures, it is a war gone bad.  This bit of intellectual dishonesty is so goofy as to be offensive.

 

How dare you attempt to equate WTF's resolve to fight to the death with past suicide runs.  WTF does not need to moralize its stance, DBDC did that for them when they attacked WTF for sport.

ODN does not do whatever it can to promote a friendly or moderate environment for all.  You ally with strongmen and then back them up in whatever moves they make, because they're your "friends."  If ODN wants to promote moderation and friendliness, it will cancel its DBDC treaty and mind its own business.  Your treaty facilitates this very situation because DBDC knows, knows, that its nations are useless against conventionally-constructed AAs, and that its allies are the ones who'll be doing the fighting when things go bad.  And voila! here you are threatening war in the name of peace, friendliness, and moderation.  

The entire tone of this speech is insulting.  It is patronizing and makes it clear that ODN thinks of itself as the Great White Father here to inform and civilize these weird neutral savages.  

For my part, WTF, I must say bravo.  You have staked out your position and stuck to your principles in the face of overwhelming challenges.  Not because you are naïve, but because you are extremely well aware of what is happening, as you have demonstrated. 

 

Collectible Sig

And now a This Week tradition: Your TWiP Collectible Sig, crafted for all you TWiNnies out there in TV land from the most special screenshot of the week.  I think this one speaks for itself.

 

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That's it for This Week, thank you for joining us tonight.  From everyone here in the studio on this, the twenty-seventh day since DBDC confused isolationist for pacifist, goodnight, and good luck!

Edited by Schattenmann

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Not buying it. Where are the screenshots of skype logs from a year ago?

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::amused;: You do know that all of that is publicly viewable to anyone with an account on the WTF forum?  As in from any alliance?  What are you going to do next, posts about what people said on the owf?

 

 

Ohh your rhetoric and arguments are of course BS and maybe when I have more energy I'll bother to walk through th giant holes or twisted logic/misleading interpretations.  But I just had to comment in amusment that you now think public posts viewed by dozens of membvers from dozens of alliances are now 'scoops'

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::amused;: You do know that all of that is publicly viewable to anyone with an account on the WTF forum?  As in from any alliance?  What are you going to do next, posts about what people said on the owf?

 

 

Ohh your rhetoric and arguments are of course BS and maybe when I have more energy I'll bother to walk through th giant holes or twisted logic/misleading interpretations.  But I just had to comment in amusment that you now think public posts viewed by dozens of membvers from dozens of alliances are now 'scoops'

 

Hardly a scoop, but some of us are simply too lazy to be searching high and low for such  blatant grandstanding by the ODN.  Schatt simply does the world a favour by bringing ODN's chest thumping to a more accessible arena where we can all delight in true diplomacy in action.

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Very well written, as always!!!
Lemme bring popcorn for all.

Edited by Tehmina

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Grub summed it up well. I tried to view it there but haven't been masked yet so bringing it here is a great service for me!

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I'm still laughing my ass off about ODN and white peace

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Is there anything more exciting than OWF drama and frivolous claims. :popcorn:

 

 

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Edited by Nord Belka

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Good god this is pathetic.

You're one of the thousand mate. Either you agree or you should speak up.

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Well this is taken right from our forum. You missed the part where I said hi to OsRaven and he didn't say hi back.

10/10 would read again.

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Good god this is pathetic.

 

I agree Coloradia, fancy ODN committing you to a war on neutrals, neutrals who truly are the victims.  Pathetic indeed, perhaps you should be pulling your ally back into line... I know you are capable of issuing sternly worded complaints to allies who do things you find inconvenient.

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I agree Coloradia, fancy ODN committing you to a war on neutrals, neutrals who truly are the victims.  Pathetic indeed, perhaps you should be pulling your ally back into line... I know you are capable of issuing sternly worded complaints to allies who do things you find inconvenient.

I'm more the type for a public call out as Ivan learned long long ago. The rest is over my head.

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I'm more the type for a public call out as Ivan learned long long ago. The rest is over my head.


I have seen your request at the WTF forums and our Admin is not currently online. That goes for the flood of others waiting.

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I have seen your request at the WTF forums and our Admin is not currently online. That goes for the flood of others waiting.

I don't have any urgent business or anything, it's purely a matter of curiosity about everything that didn't make it to Schatt's post but is visible once masked as a diplo if the impressions I've gotten are correct.

Edited by Coloradia

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I don't have any urgent business or anything, it's purely a matter of curiosity about everything that didn't make it to Schatt's post but is visible once masked as a diplo if the impressions I've gotten are correct.

It's an unfortunate hazard of the medium that some things must be left on the cutting room floor. 

WTF's particular grievances and the course of action based on them are well reasoned, but would be difficult to discuss here. 

 

At the same time, it's impossible to expect WTF to accommodate 500 diplos, so this will do for the vast majority (as Grub pointed out).  As one of the 1000 enforcers, I think it's wise for you to check it out now that the check has been written. 

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Well Schatt has done a pretty good job in summarizing that thread. And the feel of the WTF. All in all pretty spot on.

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Good god this is pathetic.

 

This. Thanks for putting it out there for those of us who don't want to sign up for another forum, Schatt.

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Only in Schattenman's world is engaging someone diplomatically to try to find a way towards peace "threatening to intervene".

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Only in Schattenman's world is engaging someone diplomatically to try to find a way towards peace "threatening to intervene".

 

Only in ODN's world is threatening someone with 1000 ally nations considered working towards peace?

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