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The Legend of Shilong, Last Emperor of Mascuria


Triyun
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Shilong was a warlord in the Tianxia Succession Crisis.  His territory stretched from the Northern Suburbs of Beijing up to the Mascurian Border.  The trouble was.  Shilong was a very bad warlord.  Mainly an administrator, incharge of garrison territorial army troops, half his troops went home to their families, and the rest were simply awful.  With the Federal Army marching into Qingdao under Knight Commander Ryu and soon onto Beijing, from the West the Kara Khitai were sweeping in.  

 

It seemed the jig was up, or was it?  Looking at a map realized he may be 1/5th the man any Tianxian was, which made him think.  Why be a has been here, when I could be a god somewhere else.

 

And that place was!!!! MASCURIA!!!!!!

 

So it was one day when Mascurians were all home watching Survivor Amazon Island, 400, 000 of China's sorriest troops drove across the border, making a B-line for the Capital and starting to ransack the place all before the judges eliminated Kelli from the Bikini Competition.  

 

Exiting from his tacky Limo, Shilong raised a bull horn, "ATTENTION EVERYONE!!! I'VE TAKEN OVER YOUR COUNTRY SURRENDER OR I WILL UNLEASH BEFORE I UNLEASH A TURNIP FEASTING SWARM OF APHIDS UPON YOU!!! I DEMAND YOU ALL WORSHIP ME AND ALL MEN MUST MODEL THEIR HAIR CUTS AFTER ME!!!  ALSO I AM THE NEW EMPEROR!!!! THAT IS ALL!"

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The remaining Marscurians in what used to be Marscurian Siberia politely pointed out to the warlord that:

1. The region had been re-absorbed into the administration of Vaule.

2. The only bridge across the Amur river was not set to be completed until late 2015.

3. The turnips had already been harvested.

4. They were already mandated to wear jheri curls by the Tsar.

5. You made them miss Kelli's bikini competition, and were about to get stabbed in the face by the sporks that came with their TV dinners.

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