Jump to content

FAN Announcement


 Share

Recommended Posts

/me mentally kicks himself for getting involved in this oh-so-entertaining thread

 

There clearly is a need here for a primer on how and why FAN rolls.  My apologies in advance to the old-timers here who are well-versed in FAN philosophy – come on over to iirc and I’ll pour you some cider in recompense.

 

First off, let me say:  This is our fault.  It’s our fault that there are so many noobs here that are saying, “Oh the noez!  Who is FAN and why are they attacking UoCR?” because FAN has kept to itself.  In the recent past, we’ve had no interest in being involved with Planet Bob shenanigans – even its wars, which is saying something because FAN typically likes a good fight.  That’s rule number 1 for the noobs:  FAN plays CN to fight.  CN without fighting is emo BS.

 

Rule #2 is that, with some very specific limitations, FAN nations can do whatever the heck they want.  It’s what makes us so good at war – we just point the dogs in the general direction of the fox and let the dogs do their thing.

 

So here’s how the UoCR business went down.  I’ll give you a one-time peek behind the curtain to understand our motivations here. 

 

1) One of our junior members said, “Hey, there’s a nation called Soviet USA.  He belongs to some alliance called Union of Communist Republics and it has X members, but can I attack him anyway?”

 

2) We check out their forum, and low and behold, these guys aren’t just players role-playing Commies in CN, they are actually RL Communists who believe that Communism is good for all!  WTF?

 

3) mpol, as a member of Congress, puts up a vote to go to war against Soviet USA’s entire alliance.  The only reason mpol beat me to it was because I was busy extracting the ice pick from my eyes after seeing the homage to Communism that is UoCR’s forum.

 

4) Vote passes unanimously in about 2 hours.  Congress sends the bill to our Servers who look it over, say, “Hell yes!” and direct our military to plan our war.

 

5) We kick around end-game and surrender terms.  $441M in reps was considered (94,000,000 people killed by Communism in the 20th Century times $4 and change -- what the material value of a human body is), but ultimately settle on the following:

  • An admission in UoCR’s OWF surrender announcement that RL Communism is bad period.
  • UoCR must place an order for Freedom Fries in their surrender announcement
  • Continuation of the current wars until they expire

 ‘cause the war itself is reward enough for us.

 

6) About 18 hours after our initial attack, UoCR leadership (RA and KI) approach us about surrendering.  We give them our terms and have yet to receive an answer.

 

The rest, as they say, is history.  History, for my UoCR friends, is the study of things that happened in the past.

 

So there was no “UoCR just finished a war and now is the time to attack” or “What are the implications for Planet Bob if we attack” concerns.  Heck, we were barely aware that a decent-sized war had just ended.  RL Commies came onto our radar screen, and we figured we’d be doing everyone here a favor by Darwin-Awarding these imbeciles who actually RL believe in the single most brutal, failed political system that ever cursed the Earth.

 

Frankly, I’m disappointed that the rest of Planet Bob has tolerated them for so long.

 

So ultimately, it was Soviet USA's fault.

tl;dr: "We're as dumb as we look"

 

If what you consider "wars" and "fighting" is smacking around an alliance 1/10th your size immediately after the last global, then it's no wonder you're all so bored.

 

It also explains their woefully low casualty numbers.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 312
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

$441M in reps was considered

You've got to be shitting me.

but ultimately settle on the following:

  • An admission in UoCR’s OWF surrender announcement that RL Communism is bad period.
  • UoCR must place an order for Freedom Fries in their surrender announcement
  • Continuation of the current wars until they expire
You've got to be shitting me.
 

We give them our terms and have yet to receive an answer.

Here's a hint: your terms are ridiculous and no self-respect alliance would accept them.

The rest, as they say, is history.  History, for my UoCR friends, is the study of things that happened in the past.

haha epic bacon they are owned!!!!
 

RL Commies came onto our radar screen, and we figured we’d be doing everyone here a favor by Darwin-Awarding these imbeciles who actually RL believe in the single most brutal, failed political system that ever cursed the Earth.

You've got to be fucking shitting me
 

Frankly, I’m disappointed that the rest of Planet Bob has tolerated them for so long.
 
So ultimately, it was Soviet USA's fault.

You. Have. Got. To. Be. Shitting. Me.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ooc- Ignorance about what communism is is still staggering. It is though understandable. There never was a communist country actually that is an oxymoron. Just because some called themselves communist doesnt make them so. Declarations and labels are pointless empty things. Thinking communism isnt a bad things isnt a problem, thinking Stalin or Mao were good guys is.

Ic-Hello FAN

Edited by Branimir
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ooc- Ignorance about what communism is is still staggering. It is though understandable. There never was a communist country actually that is an oxymoron. Just because some called themselves communist doesnt make them so. Declarations and labels are pointless empty things. Thinking communism isnt a bad things isnt a problem, thinking Stalin or Mao were good guys is.

Ic-Hello FAN



This man is smart. The true concept of communism is a beautiful thing. It is also a concept the world hasn't truly seen.

That saidI know many of the UCR guys and can say for a fact that many of them are good old fashioned, God fearing, democracy loving, Americans. So FAN's claim that they are [ooc/RL commies/] is complete b.s.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey you guys asked why FAN attacked. Now you know.

I didn't care why they declared. Now that I know the collective brain cells involved in making the DoW is about equal to the amount of credits required to become a college sophomore, it's fucking hilarious.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah did not care about this originally but yeah, don't like hitting people IC for OOC reasons. Poor show FAN. Didn't like it when TPF did it to NoV, don't like it now. Here's to hoping that Old Guard kicks in the teeth of your upper tier until you are forced to praise everything that is communism.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ooc- Ignorance about what communism is is still staggering. It is though understandable. There never was a communist country actually that is an oxymoron. Just because some called themselves communist doesnt make them so. Declarations and labels are pointless empty things. Thinking communism isnt a bad things isnt a problem, thinking Stalin or Mao were good guys is.

Ic-Hello FAN

 

The UCR and non of it's allies think highly of Stalin or Mao. Heck, not a lot of people are actual communists IRL, but just left wing in general.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dont see much more than peanut gallery commentary. Until someone takes leadership like with Mushqaeda, its all just background noise to FAN. :popcorn:

An uninformed post per usual

I don't know, I find something kind of refreshing about admitting they have a stupid reason or no reason for attacking as opposed to pretending to have a better reason. It beats using a three alliance oA chain.

No, it really doesn't "beat" anything. It shows that they're a bottom 5 alliance as far as brainpower is concerned. Hell, they aren't even the renowned ~war machine~ of old. People like them based on the fact they got their shit kicked in seven years ago.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

[OOC]Am I the only one who thinks FAN is doing an absolutely brilliant job RPing McCarthyism? It's a really cool angle for a gun-themed alliance to take.[/OOC]

 

If what you consider "wars" and "fighting" is smacking around an alliance 1/10th your size immediately after the last global, then it's no wonder you're all so bored.

UCR wasn't in the last global war, only in Kas.

 

tl;dr: "We're as dumb as we look"

 

 

It also explains their woefully low casualty numbers.

Oh look, a tech seller is acting tough. Cute.

 

The !@#$ really hit the fan in this thread. 

Just the best pun that could have possibly been made.

 

I don't know, I find something kind of refreshing about admitting they have a stupid reason or no reason for attacking as opposed to pretending to have a better reason. It beats using a three alliance oA chain.

Good point.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[OOC]Am I the only one who thinks FAN is doing an absolutely brilliant job RPing McCarthyism? It's a really cool angle for a gun-themed alliance to take.[/OOC]

 

OOC: If FAN were kicking people from government and punishing members for conspiring (or alleged conspiring based on association) with UCR and other Communist alliances, you'd be spot on.  This is actually more akin to the aggressive policy of containment followed by the U.S. from the 1950s on.

 

I don't know, I find something kind of refreshing about admitting they have a stupid reason or no reason for attacking as opposed to pretending to have a better reason. It beats using a three alliance oA chain.

It also beats ganging up on 1-2 nations in easy odds mash downs near the top of the food chain.  FAN actually took a risk in attacking here.  I salute the effort, whatever the outcome.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It also beats ganging up on 1-2 nations in easy odds mash downs near the top of the food chain.

lmao @ you still being buttfurious that DBDC destroyed your pixels

FAN actually took a risk in attacking here.

If by "took a risk," you mean "is being incredibly petty, and avoided attacking the largest communist alliance because they didn't want to take a risk", then you're spot on!

Oh look, a tech seller is acting tough. Cute.

Average FAN supporter post.
 

Good point.

It is absolutely not a good point. Coming up with a CB that isn't akin to [ooc: ooc stalking] being really creepy about someone's personal beliefs would be a lot better. I preferred the faked "Dilber is plotting" logs to this shit. At least there's an effort in trying to convince people based on those!
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share


×
×
  • Create New...