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Farkistan Reorganization Underway

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The RIA under the leadership of Viceroy cctmsp13 stands behind His Excellency, Cable 77 - Lord Drunken President of the New Farkistan Order

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Boring. Unoriginal. Fark has played this song and dance before, and anyone buying it is a fool.


Slow your roll, Rush. There are deep undercurrents here, and even Fark has its factions. This is the one of the handful of times i've been deeply ashamed of my home, and I feel betrayed by those of whom i've trusted for years.

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Slow your roll, Rush. There are deep undercurrents here, and even Fark has its factions. This is the one of the handful of times i've been deeply ashamed of my home, and I feel betrayed by those of whom i've trusted for years.

Nobody is buying what you are selling.

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As per discussion by NPL's high government, the Nuclear Proliferation League recognizes Cable77 and 905 as the leaders of Farkistan. 


Fark has helped NPL in several instances over the past two years; as such, should the true leaders of Fark need our help, we stand ready.

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Boring. Unoriginal. Fark has played this song and dance before, and anyone buying it is a fool.


This is one of those rare moments when I have to agree with Rush. Whatever happened to the board policy which stated you couldn't spam the boards with unfunny joke threads? Just stop already.

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This is an outrage!  As the Clown Sweater speaking for myself and the rightful Cowbell, OutKast, who happens to be busy at the moment, Team Drunkbell denounces this coup, as well as our now former boss Walken HappytheHobo.  The TF Council is rightfully elected.  We support the TF Council. 



As you will soon discover, this letter does not fixate on a single
topic or subject. To be perfectly frank and honest, it started out
rather focused but I soon found, as I worked on my primary hypothesis
and sought corroboration from other sources, that I have quite a number
of different things to say about Miss Lelula Clown Sweater. Read on,
gentle reader, and hear what I have to say. On a television program
last night I heard one of this country's top scientists conclude that,
"It's incumbent upon us all, as thinking machines and social beings, to
think very hard about how Lelula's squibs do not come without a price."
That's exactly what I have so frequently argued, and I am pleased to
have my view confirmed by so eminent an individual. Scary ultraism is a
disgrace to humanity but it cannot be eliminated by moral lectures or
by pious intentions. No, it can be eradicated only if we encourage
individuals to come out of their cocoons and flourish. She wants to be
the one who determines what information we have access to. Yet Lelula
is also a big proponent of a particularly obstreperous form of
voyeurism. Do you see something wrong with that picture? What I see is
that I am now in a position to define what I mean when I say that a
true enemy is better than a false friend. What I mean is that Lelula's
small-minded attempt to construct a creative response to my previous
letter was absolutely pitiful. Really, Lelula, stringing together a
bunch of solecistic insults and seemingly random babble is hardly
effective. It simply proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that being
forced to listen to her yap on and on about ultracrepidarianism is about
as desirable as being flayed alive and rolled in salt. But you knew
that already. So let me add that it is immature and stupid of her to
weaken our mental and moral fiber. It would be mature and intelligent,
however, to offer manumission to those who are held captive by her
inattentive, petulant ruderies, and that's why I say that her most
progressive idea is to create an unwelcome climate for those of us who
are striving to kick butt and take names. If that sounds progressive to
you, you must be facing the wrong way.

There's a lot of daylight between Lelula's views and mine. She
believes that unfounded attacks on character, loads of hyperbole, and
fallacious information are the best way to make a point while I maintain
that animalism has served as the justification for the butchering,
torture, and enslavement of more people than any other "ism". That's
why it's Lelula's favorite; it makes it easy for her to paralyze needed
efforts to recall the ideals of compassion, nonviolence, community, and
cooperation. I have long been under the impression that if Lelula can't
stand the heat, she should get out of the kitchen. She uses big words
like "pharmacodynamic" to make herself sound important. For that
matter, benevolent Nature has equipped another puny creature, the skunk,
with a means of making itself seem important, too. Although Lelula's
criticisms may reek like a skunk, I am so mad at Lelula right now, I
could spit nails, so to speak. Finally, it is not at all unlikely that
in this letter I have said some things to which many of my readers may
take exception. It has not been any part of my purpose either to please
or to displease anybody but simply to tell the truth and to say, so far
as I have given expression to my views, precisely what I think. And
what I think is this: Miss Lelula Clown Sweater works from the false
assumption that most people actually want diabolic, stingy callow-types
to gain a respectable foothold for her fork-tongued smears.

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Firstly, let me start by expressing my great disappointment at this entire situation.  Usurping the legitimately elected represeatives of Farkistan is a low move.  Cable has played a large role in Farkistan, it is true, however this does not give him the right to take control in this manner.  Kicking people out for questioning your authority, while not unexpected of someone like you Cable, is a pretty awful thing to do.

You think you're safe now, Cable and 905, but just wait.  Over time the people who support you will start to realize just how deluded you are.  Unfortunately, when you find yourself all alone there will be no forgiveness from the rest of us.

Carrying on in this way is very unbecoming for two people who have contributed so heavily to Fark's history.  Allies of the former glorious Farkistan please do no give your support to these two rogues; their cause is not the right one to support.  Bob and all his citizens deserve the chance at democracy, and the holy order of Farkistan has been blatently violated by the actions of a few.  Little more could be done to make this situation any worse than it already is.  Erections in Farkistan should be held sacred, and anyone who holds the elective process in any regard should be absolutely outraged.

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Eff this. I'm going to join MI6 with fireguy. TF council has never had any real power anyway, so it's not like this changes anything anyway. Just more self aggrandizing by cable..... What a joke.

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**Hobo babble**

Dearest Hobo,

First, tl;dr.

Second, you, Cable, and 905 have betrayed our trust.  And for that, Team Drunkbell stands firmly with the TF Council.

Third, I'm disappointed in you for turning your back on bacon.  Fark is not just about beer and boobies.  But bacon.  And you would know that if your sinuses weren't clogged, and you were maybe just a little bit hungry, and near a diner.

May Bob have mercy on your soul.

Lelula, Clown Sweater

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I like your signature a lot sir. :P

I know. You are obviously an admirer of my form, as you have been showboating it in your representational picture some while now.


Nobody can blame you, its clear I am the most sexiest being in cyberspace since I expanded here in 06. My cheekbones are to die for. You clearly have good taste.

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Long has TF Council been stuck in a political morass of general ineptitude.  Finally we have a true unified leader with the guts to face the consequences of an insubordinate council. I fully support our duly appointed leaders and will gladly take up arms against the dissenters.  Friends and allies, stand with the true govt of Fark while we move into a bright new day.

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I find it amusing that most of those who are opposed/deposed are "old" Farkers, who were there before Cable left. Having joined after his exit, I heard many a story and inside jokes, which gave me a certain opinion of him while having very little interaction. Since he has returned, I found him to be quite different than he was made out to be. Most importantly, he noticed a change in the alliance from his previous stint--one he was aghast at discovering. You see, for at least the last year, and possibly the last two (depending on who you ask), this alleged "democratic" alliance was anything but. The "old guard" had a stranglehold on positions of power. Whenever someone "new" arose to a position of power, it was because they agreed to be toadies and yes-men/women for the established "inner circle." For two years now (if you ask me), the council has repeatedly come to the "unwashed masses" for opinions regarding decisions on policy for both domestic and foreign affairs. The voice of the membership would be overwhelming for "option A," yet when the Council went into their secret little rooms, they'd come back having decided on "option B" which was definitely NOT what we wanted. Then, they'd have the audacity to explain that "we don't really know all the details" and "this decision is really what's best for the alliance."


Well, Cable called them out on their BS. Which went over none too well with Council! (It reminded me of the old penguins in Happy Feet who continued to insist dancing was wrong even when the rest of the flock knew better. [Why yes I do have kids! So sue me!]) In return Council tried enacting all manner of changes to solidify--even increase--their power, while limiting that of the Submitter (which is to say, Cable). Luckily, there were a few "old timers" who were as fed up with the e-lawyering and "four legs good, two legs better" attitude of council, so with the weight of their experience, and that of the vast majority of the rank and file Farkers, the aforementioned change was made. While the new charter gives absolute authority to Cable, I have no doubt that the voices of the masses will now--for the first time in a loooonnnnggg time--be listened to.


I could go on, but I'm not gonna. I just know I feel better about NFO (or whatever) right now than I have in years.!


Also: Hey Hobo, I know you're one of the "good guys" but ease up on the WoT, eh?

Edited by D2theMcV
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