Schattenmann Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 (edited) [center][/center] Good evening, and welcome to This Week in GATO, your number one source for news and entertainment from that shining beacon of dogged democracy, Digiterra's oldest and most senile alliance, GATO. I am your humble host Schattenmann here to make this war official: TWiG is on! When we think GATO, what do we think; what is the essence of GATO? It is of course democracy. In darker days, it was GATO's democracy which made GATO the perfect foil for its autocratic arch-nemesis. But democracy doesn't mean just one thing on this old planet of ours; inside an alliance it might mean a vote, but on the world stage we often speak of the democracy of action, or, "voting with your feet." And with that in mind, tonight we askWho's in Charge Here? There is nothing left under the sun to say about peace mode: In practice, it is either a tactic or a joke. Unfortunately, what begins as a tactic all too often ends as a joke. The early days of any war see a lot of PM as folks watch the dominoes fall, but given GATO's history, the ridicule started early for GATO. I tell you tonight, friends, GATO's intentions were golden: His orders posted, the polls opened in GATO's military, unfortunately the vote was one of no confidence. Six days later, the response of GATO's top tier a resounding "No, thanks!" MagicNinja once again ascended the lectern: So, who's in charge here? Power in GATO, it seems, lies squarely with the people.Promises, Promises: A Musical Interludehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWNJlc-IylYcontext Never had a doubt In the beginning Never a doubt Trusted too true In the beginning You made me promises promises Knowing I'd believe Promises promises You knew you'd never keepcontext Second time around I'm still believing words that you said You said you'd always be here "In war mode forever" Still repeats in my head You can't finish what you start If this is war it breaks my heart You made me promises promises You knew you'd never keep Promises promises Why do I believe? Arm in arm EQ laughed like kids At all the silly things GATO did You can't finish what you start If this is war it breaks my heart"Do not disappoint me again." With all rumors indicating that the war is all-but-over, you might expect GATO is ready to get out of the house, stretch its legs, and give us a good show after all its promises. You'd be wrong. Believing that the war would be over in the next week or two, MagicNinja once again took to the bully pulpit and ordered GATO out of peace mode--all of them. Not one month from the 26th, as promised, but nearly two. According to plan, by March 16th, Legion and RnR should have been in the middle of a cascading down-nuke nightmare."You have embarrassed me." A full week after his orders, GATO remains firmly ensconced in peace mode. The grand final offensive against Legion and RnR? The "strong finish"? GATO nations in peace mode 11 days after deadline to leave peace mode: 58% (112/193) Wars declared by GATO 3/14-3/17: 29 The people of GATO are just not up to it. What can explain the refusal of the electorate to obey the orders of the MoD they elected? The vote has been cast, Doom House has lost. Meanwhile, in R&R . . . The alarm sounded by TWIG field reporters, R&R's government had alerted its members to the planned assault on March 12. Indeed. Imagine my embarrassment at having alerted fellow Equilibrium alliances of not one, but two GATO assaults which never came. Double Standards, A Cyber Nations Game And on a final note, as a matter of due diligence, the interns here at TWiG attacked one of the 4 GATO nations not in peace mode in the range of Schloss Eggenberg. Busy not being in charge of anything except his own nation, MagicNinja quickly noticed and reached out with this message: That's right, faithful viewers, after keeping GATO's military in peace mode for the entirety of the war, after ordering GATO to attack only once he believed the war was over, GATO's Minister of Defense believes that yours truly is pathetic. I do believe we've found a pinhead. That's it for tonight! I hope you have had as much fun as we have here at TWiG. For everyone here, I am Schattenmann wishing you goodnight and good luck on this, the eleventh day since GATO was ordered out of peace mode.The war is gone, another war has gone from us, it's gone away. It'll be back in 6 months, though so until then ho-ho, ho-hooooo So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, good-bye! I hate to go and leave this bloody siiiight. Edited March 24, 2013 by Schattenmann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rapmanej Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 Why is this in Alliance announcements? Does the cult support spying? Seems like World Affairs would be a better spot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enamel32 Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 (edited) ahahahaha MN, I think you have a friend. xD I'm going to refrain from picking on GATO, but "You've embarrassed me, you've embarrassed this alliance, and worst of all, you've embarrassed yourselves" omg, that's so funny Edited March 24, 2013 by Enamel32 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sigrun Vapneir Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 Excellent stuff Schatt, good to see and truly hilarious to read. GATO... just :facepalm: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scorn Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 Maybe they needed a little more notice than 24 hours. Or needed some help in picking out targets. Hard to say. Good luck GATO in fixing your leak problem you have there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Griff Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 I can feel the flames, burning ever so brightly. Please make more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChairmanHal Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 (edited) I think it only appropriate that Ken Berry play magicninja in the film version. He even already has the uniform. GATO of course will be played by the rest of the cast of F Troop. Well done as usual, Schatt. Edited March 24, 2013 by ChairmanHal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Hershey Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 What is this? I think you crossed the line, bro. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
youwish959 Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 (edited) Why is this in Alliance announcements? Does the cult support spying? Seems like World Affairs would be a better spot. Who said the Cult spied? They probably just accepted the screenshots from an unknown source. There are a few scandalous people out there in this world who like to remain unknown that regularly drop shit alliances screens. What is this? I think you crossed the line, bro. This is fucking hilarious is what is. Edited March 24, 2013 by youwish959 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Believland Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 low hanging fruit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starfox101 Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 As usual, Schattenmann has delivered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the rebel Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 This is fucking hilarious! :lol1: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hereno Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 (edited) I wouldn't have included the personal conversation between you and MN. To his credit, he jumped into the fray well over a month ago and was trying to have the rest of the alliance do the same thing. Ain't like he can make the lot of cowards jump from peace mode; but still pretty entertaining for the rest of us regardless. I'll be interested to see what (if anything) happens to those pixel huggers in the post-war. Edited March 24, 2013 by Hereno Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nintenderek Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 The GATO military holds strong as ever. Why is this in Alliance announcements? Does the cult support spying? Seems like World Affairs would be a better spot. Yes. The cult supports spying during times of war. The cult has always supported spying during war. When the cult was at war with ODN, This Week in ODN was a thing. This should have just been expected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EgoFreaky Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 Brb, declaring on CoJ for posting a screeny from our forum. Someone has to and preferably before the internet ceases to exist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewHG Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 Car crash alert. 1 call in the spinners from other alliances 2 order all members not to post 3 members post anyway 4 spinners get knickers in a twist Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krashnaia Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 (edited) :facepalm: Being an "open door" alliance and broadcasting your full battle plans to everyone doesn't works. 100% chance you have half a dozen spies at least. Also, attempting to whip up people when you are already in the middle of a war doesn't work, neither. You need to drill the people and purgue the ranks from cowards before stepping in. Really, those are basic things one would expect an alliance as old as GATO should have already learnt. Looks like you have a lot of work to do post-war. Good show, Schattenmann. Edited March 24, 2013 by Krashnaia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wickedj Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 CoJ you monsters! Go spy on someone worth it..like Ai Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HM Solomon I Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 Honestly, I have no problem with peace mode as a war tactic, but this is just hilarious. You can't call it a war tactic when the use of it results in little to no actual war. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schattenmann Posted March 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 Honestly, I have no problem with peace mode as a war tactic, but this is just hilarious. You can't call it a war tactic when the use of it results in little to no actual war. :facepalm: Being an "open door" alliance and broadcasting your full battle plans to everyone doesn't works. 100% chance you have half a dozen spies at least. Also, attempting to whip up people when you are already in the middle of a war doesn't work, neither. You need to drill the people and purgue the ranks from cowards before stepping in. Really, those are basic things one would expect an alliance as old as GATO should have already learnt. Looks like you have a lot of work to do post-war. Good show, Schattenmann. I wouldn't have included the personal conversation between you and MN. To his credit, he jumped into the fray well over a month ago and was trying to have the rest of the alliance do the same thing. Ain't like he can make the lot of cowards jump from peace mode; but still pretty entertaining for the rest of us regardless. I'll be interested to see what (if anything) happens to those pixel huggers in the post-war. Let me be very clear, because it can easily get lost in the humor: There is huge disdain for Doom House within GATO, and I credit civil disobedience, not cowardice, with this situation. At the same time, GATO has elected and maintained successive gov't which have stuck with DH despite that disdain, and that's why those who are at war are at war, and those who are losing tech, time, and money in PM are in PM. Now it's out in the air, and it's time for GATO to start getting serious about the decisions they make by way of their internal democratic process. There are alot of good people in GATO who've been shafted by MagicNinja etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Holton Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 (edited) An enjoyable read. Though the point you're trying for here doesn't really work out when you consider GATO democratically elects her leaders. Edited March 24, 2013 by Master Holton Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pingu Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 Let me be very clear, because it can easily get lost in the humor: There is huge disdain for Doom House within GATO, and I credit civil disobedience, not cowardice, with this situation. At the same time, GATO has elected and maintained successive gov't which have stuck with DH despite that disdain, and that's why those who are at war are at war, and those who are losing tech, time, and money in PM are in PM. Now it's out in the air, and it's time for GATO to start getting serious about the decisions they make by way of their internal democratic process. There are alot of good people in GATO who've been shafted by MagicNinja etc. I am sure they are touched by your concern. If I may, though, I will point out that if it turns out to be the case that GATO needs to have an internal debate about foreign policy - and who doesn't, from time to time? - then your own actions give them ample reason to commit to whatever side you are not on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frederico Rodriguez Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 There is huge disdain for Doom House within GATO It depends on the member you talk to, some like, some hate, some don't care. 'Huge disdain' would not be a correct description. and I credit civil disobedience, not cowardice, with this situation. In order for there to be disobedience, people have to actively defy orders. Nobody did that. I haven't seen any post from any member saying they will not fight, it's just the fact that a lot of GATOans are busy in real life. Lack of general activity is the issue, but people have uni, social life etc. which takes precedent. In an ideal world everyone would be active. GATO has elected and maintained successive gov't which have stuck with DH despite that disdain We believe magicninja is one of our best military men. And Laserwolf is one of our all-time most popular leaders. We like CnG, we feel at home in CnG. We like our allies and we respect our allies' allies. Now it's out in the air, and it's time for GATO to start getting serious about the decisions they make by way of their internal democratic process. There are alot of good people in GATO who've been shafted by MagicNinja etc. If you want a genuine inside view, we feel we've done very well for ourselves considering the situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimaera Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 (edited) The Cult, as always, delivers its expected quality. And they say this world is devoid of intrigue! Edited March 24, 2013 by Chimaera Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arciel Posted March 24, 2013 Report Share Posted March 24, 2013 *slow clap* Impressive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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