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A War time announcement from Farkistan.

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[center][img]http://img410.imageshack.us/img410/1974/farkcleanux7.jpg[/img][/center]

Greetings Cyberverse,


We here at Fark have decided to break from our normally light approach to announcements in order to bring to bear a matter of importance to us. By now I am sure that all of you are aware that we have been attacked by Umbrella; and if you haven't, you clearly aren't using the same websites as the rest of us, and I'm not too sure as to how you are reading this. This is, however, not the matter we want to discuss. The member nations of Fark do not care much for the OWF either, so we shall not judge those who also shun it.


What we did want to address, was the small matter of our allies coming to our aid. We would like openly and unconditionally state that we would not like, nor would welcome assistance in fighting Umbrella. If any more of their nations in range had escaped to peace mode there would very likely be anarchy. It is currently taking all the resolve of our government to contain the turbulent frenzy that the smell of Umbrellan blood has worked up within our peoples.


For this reason, we hereby declare in absolute terms, that Umbrella is as of this moment a protectorate of Farkistan until such a time as military conflict with Umbrella ceases or we declare otherwise. We will NOT share war slots when we cannot even find sufficient slots to placate the hunger found endemic in nations across most of the alliance. This protectorate ensures security to Umbrella only from unprovoked attacks by nations with D and A clause treaties with Farkistan and will be treated with greater importance than all other existing treaties; allies found to be attempting to assist in the military conflict with Umbrella will be greeted with open warfare. While these circumstances are unfortunate, Farkistan is comprised primarily of African Tigerfish, and right now there is blood in the water. There isn't enough meat to feed all the mouthes, and thus we cannot be held responsible for what happens to nations who choose to swim within the Farkistani feeding grounds.


When the waters are still once more, if we have accidentally eaten one of your members, reparations will be negotiable; but we urge you: do not interact with Farkers within the open waters! As always the most secure manner in which to engage Farkers is within the secured cages specifically designed to hold off their attacks located on the Farkistani Ocean Research and Wildlife Reserve. We implore caution when boating and discourage swimming. If you still feel the need to swim remember to avoid the Farkistani feeding frenzy at all costs. It is a dangerous seasonal occurrence, and while tourism is available, we recommend observation from a distance and with a well trained guide.


Of course, communication is important to all of us at the FORWR, and as such, we have notified our allies of the change in policy. We will, naturally, provide regular reports upon the condition and behavior of the Farker swarm, both as a matter of education in the ecology of this unique event, and to ensure that regular visitation and use of the park grounds may resume in a quick and efficient manner when it is safe to do so. This could quite be delayed by some time, as Farker spawning season is just around the corner. For more information, please contact us at #farkistan on irc.coldfront.net, or through our various lines available at www.farkistan.org.


Thank you and enjoy your visit.

[right]Sincerely,
Farkistani Conservation Board

[i]Director Atanatar
Head of Public Relations Mr. Vicarious
Head of Education UltimateDogg
Treasurer Persephone3
Head of Conservation HappytheHobo
Head of Search and Rescue TheXerox[/i][/right]

Edited by Atanatar

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edit: wait wut? confused.

edit 2: reading is fun.

Edited by Thrash

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Congratulations to our dear friends in FARK on obtaining CN's largest protectorate!

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This is awesome. What better way to repair the rift that has grown between our alliances than a protectorate? I am looking forward to developing our relationship once again and working with you all in the future!


an aside: I don't wanna go in the water! There's [s]kingfish[/s] African Tigerfish in the water!

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I feel as if this is the first well-formatted and professional wall of text I've seen from Fark.

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[quote name='FeaR_LeSs' timestamp='1340075348' post='2988278']
We need a TL ; DR
[/quote]

umbrella is now a protectorate of fark

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[quote name='FeaR_LeSs' timestamp='1340075348' post='2988278']
We need a TL ; DR
[/quote]

I'm pretty sure they just declared Umbrella their protectorate, and will be attacking anyone who takes Umbrella war slots who isn't FARK.

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Welcome to Inception FARK, we'll be going to the next level of the dream soon.

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