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[size=5][font="Impact"]Federation of Armed Nations[/font][/size]
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[i]A small convoy of heavily armored trucks pulls up outside of the press conference. Four men pull a large burlap sack out of the back of one of the vans, drag it up to the podium and unceremoniously dump the contents out onto the ground.[/i]

*mpol dusts himself off. OK. OK. I'll make another !@#$@#$ announcement.

[i]A squirrely looking aid walks up and hands mpol a pre-written speech. Mpol quickly scans the speech then tosses it aside.[/i]

$%&@ it. Let's wing it!

Greetings members of the unwashed masses. Lot's of things going on right now. Wars being declared. Lines being drawn. Treaty web trying to figure out which treaties to honor and who to screw over so they can save their own worthless hides. But that all doesn't interest me and seeing as I'm the guy with the microphone, I'm going to talk about things I care about.

First order of business is a somber note. After several bake sales, some security work shooting Somali pirates and a little bit of human trafficking selling white babies to the Chinese for reasearch, FAN saved up enough cash to build a permanent memorial for the fallen on this the 5 year anniversary of the start of the VietFAN conflict. A stunning monument in black granite with the names of all of those that gave their lives (minus the heathen godless commies we were fighting) etched on it's surface.

[img]http://www.grandbastard.reloadpress.com/upload/15083-VietFANMemorial.jpg[/img]

To mark this occasion a FANmily Reunion was held at EESmith's swamp in Crackalaka, MS. Or whatever those hicks call that place. The death toll and damage figures are still being calculated, but no FAN members perished and most escaped with only minor injuries. That's what counts. As a public service announcement we made a couple videos about the dangers of drunkenly shooting rocket flares into the woods and also why it is a good idea to stand more than 15 feet back when shooting exploding targets.

[color="#FF0000"][b]WARNING[/b]: Videos contain language and actions not fit for children, hipster !@#$%bags or whiny !@#$%*es. Do not attempt at home.[/color]
Remember kids. [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdGICB7C9SY]Only you can prevent forest fires[/url] Which is good 'cause I'm busy. [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1XcTa5QlXM&feature=context&context=C4b1fc4bADvjVQa1PpcFNWL_rqHIUwV9KtiJVOA6_mH5kox-Va4hE=]'Splodie targets are fun[/url]

There is more much to tell, but judging by looks I'm getting from the JBTs you'll just have to use your imagination as to what else takes place when a mob of gunnuts gets together with enough firepower to take over a small country.

As a final note, I'd like to congratulate all of you that have participated in the fight against the plague Planet Bob has suffered from for these many years. While there are still 13,873 cases still present I am truly confident that if we all pull together we can eradicate this scourge. This current scuffle can only help. Unfortunately we aren't carriers because of that whole zombie thing, but random unwarranted violence is something of a specialty for us, so we'll do what we can once we can figure out what the hell is going on.

[i]The four men start inching their way closer to mpol holding the burlap sack[/i]

I guess that's my cue. Adios $%&@os!

[i]Mpol runs into the crowd, grabs a small child and uses it as a blunt weapon to bash his way through the sea of useless people and make an escape[/i]


Poooooorn! Does a body good.
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[img]http://www.grandbastard.reloadpress.com/officialfan.gif[/img]

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A somber anniversary and a fitting reminder of the sort of dedication and nerve that has long since been abandoned in favor of political expedience.

Edited by Schattenmann
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[quote name='Lurunin' timestamp='1340043250' post='2987820']
I would hail this but you apparently hate pirates :P

Congrats none the less you guys
[/quote]


We are pirate friendly. Well... more like we're wench friendly, but to get the wenches you need to let the pirates in too. Sacrifices must be made.

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[quote name='mpol777' timestamp='1340041852' post='2987801']
As a final note, I'd like to congratulate all of you that have participated in the fight against the plague Planet Bob has suffered from for these many years. While there are still 13,873 cases still present I am truly confident that if we all pull together we can eradicate this scourge.[/quote]

13,848

Well, it's a start.

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[quote name='kingzog' timestamp='1340066920' post='2988105']
13,848

Well, it's a start.
[/quote]
FAN makes progress on their promises over the course of a day, impressive imo.

Edited by Penlugue Solaris
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[quote name='Sir Loin of Beef' timestamp='1340071577' post='2988151']
Man ya'all make hard targets when yas staggerin drunk through the woods.
[/quote]

As the saying goes, "Drunkeness is next to godliness.".

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