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Farkistan Celebrates 5 Years


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First, a very Happy New Year to all of you from Fark. Next...

As was previously requested and as a one-time only special, we're gonna put the tl;dr up top here so nobody will have to scan through our cryptic message to figure out what the hell we're posting. So here's the results of this month's TF Council election (look, I even didn't say that other word, just for you--you know who you are--since it's juvenile).

[b]Emperor Norton I[/b] - Speaker of the Council
[b]Manwithplanx [/b]- 1st place winner for 2nd place
[b]recockulous [/b]- 3rd place from last
[b]CountryMouse [/b]- Second runner up to 4th place from last
[b]Kahiel [/b]- 5th in succession should SotC drop dead

With that said, tomorrow, January 2nd, will mark the 5th anniversary of Farkistan, and as you all probably know from surfing the internet from the basement of your AA's headquarters, the traditional anniversary gift of the 5th anniversary is wood. So as part of our 5th anniversary celebration, we've decided that we're not giving each other wood, but rather, that we'd give you all wood! Because we know that whether you're friend or foe, nothing would please you more than Farkistan giving you all wood on our 5th anniversary!!!

These are the selections from the aforementioned and above-listed winners:

[b]Emperor Norton I:[/b] "I'm so very excited about our 5th anniversary and the prospect of giving people from other alliances wood. It's something that I've looked forward to doing for quite some time now and the fact that I can do it as the Speaker of the Council, I'm thinking I may give myself wood as a bonus to me!"

[b]Chosen gift: [/b] Toothpicks


[b]Manwithplanx: [/b]"Who knew that the 5th anniversary of Farkistan would come under such auspicious circumstances as war with 11 alliances? It would please me to no end to know that I gave my wood to each of them. Perhaps I'll give it directly to their leaders so they know it came from me!!!"

[b]Chosen gift: [/b] Cedar closet blocks


[b]recockulous:[/b] "Ah, 5 years of Farkistan. I can't believe I have wasted so much of my time trying to instigate a war only to see continued peace--if only I'd forgotten to collect taxes the other day when I was 25 days out! But alas, I'm still here and if there was one person that I could give my wood to on this occasion it would be 905. I'd wrap it up really pretty-like, and then give it to him as a surprise when he least expected it! But of course, they're forcing me to give it to someone outside of Fark, so I'll have to think about that for a bit."

[b]Chosen gift: [/b] Hickory BBQ Sauce (Edit: We don't think recock really understood that condiments aren't wood, even if it is hickory smoked BBQ sauce)


[b]CountryMouse:[/b] "Wood? Oh man.. I thought this year was paper. Not wood. Although paper is kind of a limp wood isn't it? It's made from the same stuff, but just not as stiff right? Had I gotten the right gift, I'd probably give everyone a little piece of ash."

[b]Chosen gift: [/b] Notebook paper


[b]Kahiel: [/b] "To all of my friends here in the OWF, 5 years is a long time. And although I haven't been here for 5 years yet, I'm pleased to be a part of council and offer up my wood to anyone that can't get it themselves. Just let me know and I'll give it to you!"

[b]Chosen gift:[/b] Random wooden shims


Happy 5th Anniversary to us and congrats to this months TF Council winners!!! And again, a happy, healthy new year for all!!!

/not real quotes
//all meant in fun

edit: typo!

Edited by Arcane
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Yay ENI.

Hopefully Plan X has learned his lesson about not wanting to hit CCC for FOK because he'd be on the same front as "MK and co."

Edited by Roquentin
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