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Captain's Log


KaiserMelech Mikhail
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OOC: Basically, this is an account of what happened to the [i]MSS Bira[/i] (the ship I rented to Sarah) after Austria-Hungary suddenly collapsed, and they stopped being paid, seen through the log of Captain Moshe Mosin.

IC:
Captain's Log:
Date: October 15, 2011

Maybe we're losing it, but it seems like we've been going in circles. I know I've seen that island before, and we've only got an hour of fuel left. We've tried contacting home, but our long range communication equipment has been on the fritz. Last time I talked to Vienna, they said they'll have a tanker with us in four days tops. Um, it's been two weeks, and I gotta be honest, I am PISSED! I've been winging excuses for the past few days to the higher officers.

"Is it here yet captain? Is it here?"
"Yes, it's almost here."
"When?"
"Soon."
"Well you talked to the Austrians, what did they say?"
"They told me to tell you to SHUT UP!"

A bunch of them have stopped listening to me all together, and have started learning semaphore and waving down seagulls. I'm schvitzing, I've got lice, I'm sunburned, and all we have left on the ship is 300 tons of turnips. Turnip salad, turnip cakes, turnip balls, turnip cereal. Turnips, turnips, TURNIPS! I NEED SOME MEAT!

Captain's Log Entry Ended

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Captain's Log:
Date: October 25, 2011

Me Moshe. You turnip. Moshe like turnip. Turnip like Moshe. Turnip is Moshe's friend. Who's Moshe's friend? Turnip's Moshe's friend. Moshe loves turnips. Turnips, turnips, turnips, MOSHE LOVES TURNIPS!

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Captain's Log:
Date: October 27, 2011

Who's that?! Who's there?! Talk to me! Who are you?! What do you want?! TURNIP MONSTER WANT KILL MOSHE! I'm not Moshe, I'm Boris! TURNIP MONSTER WANTS TO KILL BORIS! I'm not Boris! DON'T LIE TO TURNIP MONSTER! TURNIP MONSTER GOING TO BLAST BORIS THEN TURNIP MONSTER'S GOING TO EAT BORIS! Please don't eat Boris turnip monster! BORIS MUST DIE! [b]I AM BORIS MOSIN-NATOR AND I MUST KILL TURNIP MONSTER![/b]

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Captain's Log:
Date: Februember 37, 123871095823

[b]SO I PUT MY HANDS UP, THEY'RE PLAYIN' MY SONG, THE BUTTERFLIES FLY AWAY! NODDIN' MY HEAD LIKE YEAH! MOVIN' MY HIPS LIKE YEAH! I GOT MY HANDS UP, THEY'RE PLAYING MY SONG, I KNOW I'M GONNA BE OK! YEAH!!!!!!! IT'S A PARTY IN THE USA![/b]

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