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The United Republic of Akdeniz Laid to Waste By Holiday Tours


Captain Enema
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[b]The United Republic of Akdeniz[/b]

Thousand and thousands and thousands and thousands of holiday goers descend upon The United Republic of Akdeniz like a plague of locusts. Despite any and all efforts by the military to fend them off they are swarmed under by the voracious appetites of the holiday goers.

The thirst for porn, cheap beer, bargain accommodations leaves them in a violent and blood thirsty mood. Upon being turned back at the airport the horde grows rapidly unruly and they descend upon the customs officials with sheer numbers and cricket bats. They are also using vinyl records as body armor and long sausages as their back up weapons.

Within minutes the airport is a bloody and violent shambles of drunken football hooligans and prostitutes.

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The Scots being the byproduct of English Imperialism and terrible English School System have long since forgotten who William Wallace is. The moving chords serve only to remind them of the opening strains of the Arsenal Football Club's song. This has the exact opposite effect on them as they begin ripping off their shirts to proudly display their Glasgow Ranger's colors as they begin making petrol bombs and hurling them at buses full of nuns, orphans, small children, and handicapped people.

They also are seen urinating on the Beattle's Abby Way Discography collection whilst loudly screaming, "Down with Liverpool!"

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Radiation in the upper atmosphere interrupts with the alien's transportation beams and dumps them all near the URA's largest liquor store. While they are somewhat surprised, they soon begin queuing up like the British are wont to do wherever they are in the world to get their discounts on gin and other spirits.

Local shop owners take advantage of the influx by selling them day old kebabs at a severely marked up price.

Edited by Tidy Bowl Man
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