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A Cactuar a Guru and a Farkistani walk into a bar...


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...the NPL then proceeded to get all 3 dangerously intoxicated to a point where our legal team have suggested water-boarding may indeed break fewer Geneva Convention laws. 12 cases of Nuka Beer later and we had these poor saps right where we wanted them... drunk enough to not remember where they left their pants but still sober enough to convince them we were huge fans and needed their signatures for our CN Autograph collection. pfft suckers!

Anyway long story short our lawyers have advised us that we probably should announce this collection of treaty’s we obtained via completely legal and ethical circumstances. We would like to thank everyone that helped make these treaty’s a reality, The good folk at the Nuka Beer Brewery Company, the Stomach Pump Unit from Hospital Bunker Delta, the helpful staff at “No Win – No Pay” Lawyers, and most of all our slightly hung-over friends at the Guru Order, Farkistan and the Random Insanity Alliance!

If we could just kindly ask you hail away quietly as their head’s still hurt a little…


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[center][SIZE=18]Nuclear Insanity Accords II: Mutually Assured Destruction[/SIZE]



[CODE] The Nuclear Proliferation League and the Random Insanity Alliance,
hereinafter referred to as the Parties,

Believing that global challenges and threats require new
approaches to interaction across the whole range of their
strategic relations,

Working therefore to forge a new strategic relationship
based on mutual trust, openness, predictability, and

Desiring to bring their respective nuclear postures into
alignment with this new relationship, and endeavoring to
expand further the role and importance of nuclear weapons

Seeking to preserve continuity in, and provide new impetus
to, the step-by-step process of expanding and proliferating nuclear
arms while maintaining the safety and security of their
nuclear arsenals, and with a view to expanding this process in
the future, including to a multilateral approach,

Guided by the principle of indivisible security and
convinced that measures for the expansion and proliferation of
strategic offensive arms and the other obligations set forth
in this Treaty will enhance predictability and stability, and
thus the security of both Parties,

Have agreed as follows:

1. Each Party agrees not to aim their nuclear weapons
at each other, only at others.

2. Each Party agrees to share information, especially about
threats to each others nuclear stockpiles.

3. Each Party agrees not to share information, technology,
or other aid with those who are threatening the nuclear stockpiles
of the other.

4. Each Party agrees to share technology and aid, if requested,
to further each others nuclear proliferation goals.

5. The Parties agree to create a joint nuclear proliferation
research center in Florida to research new ways to further
their nuclear proliferation.

6. The Parties agree to form a joint nuclear command.

a. The Parties agree to launch their nuclear stockpiles in
full force against any who would strike against them.

b. The Parties agree that should one launch their nuclear
stockpiles to assist a third party who has launched a first strike
then they are not mandated to assist but still retain the option.

c. Each Party recognizes that they retain the option to launch
their nuclear stockpiles in defense of any third party which is
acting within the interests of or tied to the Parties.

d. The Parties recognize that there are conditions under which
the most effective use of their nuclear stockpiles may be to
launch them against an associated target rather than a direct

7. Each Party agrees that they maintain the right to launch
a first strike at any target and that the other Party may assist.

This Treaty shall be subject to ratification in accordance
with the constitutional procedures of each Party. This Treaty
shall enter into force on the date of the exchange of
instruments of ratification.

Each Party may propose amendments to this Treaty. If
either Party raises the issue of the modification of this
Treaty, the Parties shall jointly consider the matter. Agreed
amendments shall enter into force in accordance with the
constitutional procedures of each Party.

Each Party shall, in exercising its alliance sovereignty,
have the right to withdraw from this Treaty if it decides that
extraordinary events related to the subject matter of this
Treaty have jeopardized its supreme interests. It shall give
notice of its decision to the other Party. Such notice shall
contain a statement of the extraordinary events the notifying
Party regards as having jeopardized its supreme interests.
This Treaty shall terminate one week from the date of
receipt by the other Party of the aforementioned notice,
unless the notice specifies a later date.

Done at Florida, this 10th day of September, 2011.

For the
Random Insanity Alliance:
Shadow, Triumvir of Random Insanity,
The Ultimate Lifeform,
Mystic Dragon Emperor of the Cheeselands,
Puppetmaster of Chaos
Delta1212, Triumvir of the Random Insanity Alliance,
Demi-God of Maroon,
Psychic Cupcake Overlord of the Cupcakery,
Eperor of the SuperFriends
im317, Triumvir,
Former Elder of PotD,
in search of new sig material
Bluestrike - Head of Foreign Affairs,
Professional Mogar Wrangler,
Former Waffle Commissar
C-zom - Head of Internal Affairs
Jenne - HoMO,
Promoting glowing stuff since 2006
cctmsp13 - Viceroy of Economics
Shadow Slayer, Head of Recruitment

For the
Nuclear Proliferation League:
Triumvir: KemMo
Triumvir: Morjon
Triumvir: King Wally
Lord of Education: Mildly Insane
Lord of Defenses: Gofast2006
Lord of Recruiting: Paramix
Lord of Foreign Affairs: Smurthwaite
Lord of Economics: Kirkhill

Edited by im317
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I had to hand it to my new friend, he really knew how to cook some mean infra.

The explosions went off without a hitch. It seemed almost effortless as NPL had let free such utter devastation on our enemies. I had never seen such wild-eyed precision and such dedication to the fine art of atomic weapons engineering and deployment.

"That's beautiful," I grinned as I passed over a cold one to my friend, "those Guru friends of ours were sure right about y'all."

NPL waved off my compliment with a grin, "that ain't nothing."

"No, really, bud," I shook my head, "you're an artist at this."

NPL chuckled. "You haven't heard me play 'Tubular Bells' yet, watch!"

He stabbed another button on his firing panel and in the distance I could hear the rumble of additional missiles launching from their racks emitting from his console speaker. I grabbed my binoculars and focused them onto the distant range.

One after another, each nuclear payload was delivered, on target and in a tight formation. There were several flashes of light in the distance and I braced myself for the concussion waves, which rattled the reinforced bunker down to its very foundations.

"Wow, but can you play 'Classical Gas?'" I chortled as my elbow gently jostled him in the ribs.

"No," NPL replied, "but I can draw out a Farkistan Beer logo on the moon if I wanted..." His right index finger hovering over another set of launch buttons.

I regarded him for a moment. I knew for sure right then we would be best pals from that day forward.

"Ya know something, NPL?" I asked as I tipped my hat to my friend, "I think this is the start of a beautiful nuclear winter!"

NPL shook his head. "Bogart, seriously?" he chided as he stabbed another button. Another missile lifted from its launcher and started on a strange trajectory, exploding in the air above us with a massive boom. "Couldn't you have come up with a better way of announcing our upgrade than this???"

[center][b][size="5"]Two Suns In the Sunrise[/size][/b][/center]

[b]Article 1 Sovereignty[/b]

NPL and Farkistan recognize that while they share a common interest in nuclear holocaust and missile deployment, their tastes in movies are vastly different. That's ok, it's cool. Certain boundaries should be respected at all times, especially 905's private beer fridge.

[b]Article 2 Nonaggression and Espionage[/b]

Farkistan and NPL promise to not attack each other as well as promising not to spy on each other. Seems simple enough. If there happens to be an awkward moment, the offending alliance shall pay 150% reps to the other.

[b]Article 3 Mutual defense[/b]

If someone attacks either Farkistan or NPL though, they'll have both to deal with. Farkistan and NPL don't take too kindly to folks interrupting their special time together at the missile range or at the bar either. If one gets attacked, the other promises to help out.

[b]Article 4 Optional Offense[/b]

If one of the signatories decides to attack another alliance aggressively, the other signatory is not obligated to join in unless they desire to do so.

[b]Article 5 Intelligence and Aid[/b]

Both signatories agree to help each other out by providing intelligence and aid where necessary.

[b]Article 6 Cancellation[/b]

If some unforeseen disappearance of all the beer and uranium stocks on Bob were to occur or if Fark and NPL decide to part ways, a 72 hour grace period goes into effect after notice is provided.

Signed on this day under the nuclear fallout above us all,

[b]For Farkistan:[/b]

905, Submitter
ManwithplanX, Squirrel
Alphabravo42, Speaker of the Council
Smontag, Total Fark Council
Jaromayo, Total Fark Council
Mr Vicarious, Total Fark Council
Kahiel, Total Fark Council

[b]For the Nuclear Proliferation League:[/b]

KemMo, Triumvir
King Wally, Triumvir
Morjon, Triumvir
Smurthewaite, Lord of Foreign Affairs
Gofast2006, Lord of Defense
Paramix, Lord of Recruiting
Kirkhill, Lord of Economics
MildlyInsane, Lord of Education

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[b]Glowing Beer Accords[/b]

Article I - Sovereignty
Each signatory hereby declares that it will respect the other signatory's independence.

Article II - Non-Agression
It is agreed that no members of either signatory will declare war on a member of the other signatory, aid enemies of the other signatory or engage in other actions which can be seen as a violation of peace.

Article III - Friendship
Guru Order and Nuclear Proliferation League hereby declare being friends. Every signatory is highly encouraged to provide any help if that is needed.

Article IV - Espionage
Each signatory hereby declares their commitment not to spy on the other signatory and thus respect the sovereignty of the other signatory.
If one signatory has relevant information regarding the other signatory, it is obliged to inform the other signatory about it in a short period of time, revealing the nature, content and the source of the information.

Article V - Business
GO and NPL already have an excellent business agreement, but by the terms of this treaty try to further expand this venture. Both alliances will try to work further on increasing the efficiency of this business venture for the development of both alliances.

Article VI - Mutual Defense
Guru Order and Nuclear Proliferation League hereby agree that any direct attack on either signatory will be seen as an attack on both. Both signatories will use all means to defend each other from aggression.

Article VII - Optional Aggression
Both signatories may join a war that is started by either signatory if both parties agree to it, however they're not required to do it.

Article VIII- Amendments/Updates
It is possible to make amendments to this treaty if both signatories deem it beneficial. The amendment needs to be discussed and agreed upon both signatories before being announced and before becoming valid.

Article IX - Termination
If either signatory wishes to terminate this treaty, they must provide the other with at least 72 hours notice or if any signatory notices that any of the Articles have been violated, the signatory has the right to withdraw from this treaty. The next 72 hours after the other signatory is informed this treaty remains valid.


[b]For GO:
The Guru Order Elders Council
Rodger Waldie
Pineapple Sauce
Ron Mock

[b]For NPL:
KemMo, Triumvir
King Wally, Triumvir
Morjon, Triumvir
Smurthewaite, Lord of Foreign Affairs
Gofast2006, Lord of Defense
Paramix, Lord of Recruiting
Kirkhill, Lord of Economics
MildlyInsane, Lord of Education

Edited by Rodger Waldie
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