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The =LOST= World


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In all my years of service to =LOST= and the countless announcements I have had the opportunity grace these halls with, I have seldom been so proud as to proclaim that at long last =LOST= and our good friends Deinos have upgraded our treaty to a pact of mutual defense and optional aggression. I have had the tremendous opportunity to become friends with Deinos and it pleases me to no end that our two alliances feel that we respect and I daresay love each other enough to enter into the bonds of mutual security. I salute our friends in Deinos and I hope this is just a continuation of what has been great in the past and what will be awesome in times to come.

[quote]

[center][img]http://i295.photobucket.com/albums/mm124/skippytheheathen/54515-bigthumbnail.jpg[/img][img]http://outsidereqs.noconfines.com/thelostgondor2.png[/img][/center]

[size="7"]Literally the Nerdiest Treaty Ever

(Redux)[/size]

[size="4"]Preamble[/size]

From Clerks.

[quote]Randal Graves: Which did you like better? "Jedi" or "The Empire Strikes Back"?
Dante Hicks: "Empire".
Randal Graves: Blasphemy.
Dante Hicks: "Empire" had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All "Jedi" had was a bunch of Muppets.[/quote]

=LOST= and Deinos hereby agree that Empire is the better film. Moreover, we agree that Two Towers didn’t have a whole lot going on. However, even though Empire is awesome for being such a downer in an action trilogy, the relationship =LOST= and Deinos share has started on a high note and life is, sometimes, an intermittent series of high hearted beginnings.

[size="4"]Article I[/size]

From Clerks 2

[quote]Randal Graves: [laughing] I made fun of "Lord of the Rings" so hard, it made some supergeek puke all over the counter. Where do we keep the mop and bucket so I can have Elias clean it up?
Dante Hicks: In the closet, with the rest of the cleaning products.
Randal Graves: We have cleaning products?[/quote]

=LOST= agrees to refrain from making fun of Lord of the Rings so hard that it makes Deinos puke which would cause Deinos to plot a revenge scheme involving a fellowship and pledges of swords, axes, and bows. =LOST= will not plot an attack against Deinos either because, as nerds, we would not want to attack some of the few friends we have. That would be awkward.

[size="4"]Article II[/size]

From Clerks.

[quote]Randal Graves: [talking about the second Death Star] A construction job of that magnitude would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers.
Dante Hicks: Not just Imperials, is what you're getting at...
Randal Graves: Exactly. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms.
Dante Hicks: All right, so even if independent contractors are working on the Death Star, why are you uneasy with its destruction?
Randal Graves: All those innocent contractors hired to do a job were killed - casualties of a war they had nothing to do with.
[notices Dante's confusion]
Randal Graves: All right, look-you're a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia - this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius. You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living.[/quote]

=LOST= and Deinos will share any information about impending laser attacks by left-wing militants or horde rushes by the Orcs of Mordor. Holocrons are to be shared, Palantírs are not to be gazed upon by either party.

[size="4"]Article [b]37[/b][/size]

From Clerks 2

[quote]Randal Graves: All right, look, there's only one "Return," okay, and it ain't "of the King," it's "of the Jedi."
Hobbit Lover: Oh, Star Wars geek.
Randal Graves: Oh, I'm the geek? Look at you two whipping out your preciouses.
Elias: You'll have to excuse him, he's not "down" with the trilogy.
Randal Graves: Oh, what the f$#@ happened to this world? There's only one trilogy, you f$#@$#% morons.
Hobbit Lover: You know what, maybe we should start calling your friend Padme, because he loves Manakin Skywalker so much, right?
[in robot voice]
Hobbit Lover: Danger danger, my name is Anakin. My s#@$#@% acting is ruining saga.
Elias: [chucking] Yea-Yeah, you're crazy, Jar-Jar.
Randal Graves: Oh, I'm crazy? Those f$#@#$%' hobbit movies were boring as hell. All it was, was a bunch of people walking, three movies of people walking to a f$#@%$# volcano.
Randal Graves: [describing the Lord of the Rings Trilogy] Here's the first movie.
[walks a few steps, staring blankly]
Randal Graves: And here's the second movie.
[walks a few steps again, pretends to trip]
Hobbit Lover: He is way off, loser.
Randal Graves: You ready for the third movie?
[walks yet again, stops, pretends to throw the ring into the volcano. Shrugs his shoulders and turns around]
Randal Graves: Even the f$#@$%' trees walked in those movies.[/quote]

I don’t know exactly what the above quote has to do with mutual defense and optional aggression, but =LOST= and Deinos agree that if one should fall under attack, the other is obligated to defend that signatory. Also, if either signatory should make an offensive military maneuver, the other signatory has the option to attack as well.

[size="4"]Article IV.[/size]

From Clerks 2

[quote]Elias: How many times?
Hobbit Lover: Well, um, three for "Fellowship," two for "Towers," four for "Return."
Elias: Five for "Return"!
Hobbit Lover: Dude![/quote]

If =LOST= and Deinos ever get sick and tired of watching each others’ favorite trilogies, they must give the other 72 hours notice in private of their intentions of cancelling this treaty before it is null and void. Also, although Jurassic Park is a great film, the sequels are never to be mentioned during important diplomatic negotiations. If such action is taken, this treaty is null and void and the signatories will immediately recognize a mutual state of war.

Signed for Deinos,

New Frontier, Tyrant King
Bones Malone, Utahraptor Prince
Magister Agricolarum, Raptor Lord of Development
Silver Empress, Raptor Lady of Diplomacy
Sandler, Raptor Lord of War
Gloin, Raptor Lord of the Interior
Divine Proportion, Raptor Lady of Finance

Signed for =LOST=,

[img]http://i945.photobucket.com/albums/ad296/MaxCristof/lostgov.png[/img]
[/quote]

EDIT: Forgot the obligatory,

[center][img]http://www.qwantz.com/comics/comic2-1892.png[/img][/center]

Edited by Mandellav
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[quote name='Gloin' timestamp='1306967582' post='2722226']
This is the greatest! The only bad thing is that this brings me closer to Stefano! :unsure:
[/quote]
Getting closer to Stefano is no crime :). Congratz to you both.

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[quote name='Rush Sykes' timestamp='1306971590' post='2722264']
What a horrible treaty, between 2 horrible alliances. =LOST= is nothing more than a terrorist organization.
[/quote]

I sense a very quick thaw in the Cold War between =LOST= and Athens if such libel escapes the pen of such an old curmudgeon ever again.

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This took far too long.

o/ Deinos
o/ =LOST=

[quote name='Rush Sykes' timestamp='1306971590' post='2722264']
What a horrible treaty, between 2 horrible alliances. =LOST= is nothing more than a terrorist organization.
[/quote]
Your words are obviously a vain attempt to distract from Athens' long-standing history of tyrannical, bureaucractic, communist, fascism.

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