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Yeah, so...another one of these


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As the end of the school year draws near, the Mustard Man High School board of directors was able to assess the remaining budget and make a decision regarding field trips! It was unanimously decided that this year, every student that had permission from their parent could go on a field trip, as long as they paid for it themselves. Five of our students were able to go, and they put together a little information about their trips to share with everyone!


[center][img]http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3243/5784685888_6803f051e8.jpg[/img]
[i]Yeah, they ride the short bus. But at least it's a bad-ass short bus![/i][/center]


We initially thought [b]Tumultuous Papaya[/b] picked Sparta for her field trip because of her love of ancient history. It turns out she picked it because she has a fetish for spray-on abs. Shortly after her departure, we received this official communique from Sparta's Village of Philoxenia:

[Quote]
It is with the utmost and sincerest apologies that we must report to you of a tragic accident involving Tumultuous Papaya during her Field Trip to our alliance. While showing her our "Memorial to Thermopylae" she made the mistake of uttering the phrase "This is cool!" Unfortunately for Tums, any phrase beginning with those two words, followed by anything other than "Sparta," elicits a subconscious reflex response in Luka. To cut to the chase, Luka yelled "NO! THIS. IS. SPARTA!" and kicked Tums into a well. The good news is Tums survived the fall. The bad news is, we can't find a rope long enough to pull her out.

We can assure you that we are amassing our combined resources until we resolve this situation. If it's any consolation Tums has become a celebrity based on the live 24-hour news coverage on the Sparta Television Network.

P.S. "...showing her our 'Memorial to Thermopylae'..." is NOT a euphemism![/quote]

Ironically, no one here really likes Tums anyway, and everyone thinks that the bottom of a well is as good a place for her as any!


[center][img]http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2075/5784686058_337cebf5c8.jpg[/img]
[i]Unable to comment, due to contractual obligations with MGM.[/i][/center]


[b]Happy the Hobo[/b]'s field trip was to NSO where barely anything could be heard over the combined yells of Tie Fighter noises, Wilhelm screams, and the collected OWF postings of Rebel Virginia being played over a loudspeaker. Despite the noise, it seemed almost abandoned. At one point Hobo felt he was being watched, only to spin and finding an odd creature emerging from the fog. "Away put your weapon!"

Hobo ran for his life, and almost ran into a couple of kids running through the fog with their arms out, as though they themselves were spaceships. As they ran past making tie fighter noises, they glared at Happy the Hobo. As soon as they had come, they were gone.


[center][img]http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5224/5784130297_bffe8e1c30.jpg[/img]
[i]This guy wins the NSO Halloween costume contest every year.[/i][/center]


[b]Crocodilly Pontifex[/b]'s trip to NPO was illuminating. Immediately upon his arrival, he was given a hero's welcome, and plied with drink and merriment. However, after a small bit of time, he started realizing that the backdrop was 2-dimensional. the people passing him were also easily identified as being the same people, over and over again. They were being herded and paraded past him again, and again..

His trip was cut short, due to one of the "stagehands" tripping and falling forward, taking the backdrop with him. As Croc was ushered to a waiting jet by very nervous-looking Baka and Brehon, he could only gape in amazement at what had been revealed behind the scenes. It looked like a DIO album cover. Large horned beings whipping chains through the air as pyramids were being built through forced labor. Apparently merely waiting for their chance to strike down the unwary.


[center][img]http://www.cracked.com/blogimages/2010/05/dio_album5.jpg[/img]
[i]"I thought this game was supposed to be fun!"[/i][/center]


[b]BozDaBoz[/b] took a trip to FAN. He is currently in the Farkistan Regional Medical Center being treated for accute Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. The details are sketchy, due to Boz's virtual inability to communicate coherently. The only intelligible thing we can discern is that he keeps repeating "It's just one giant shooting range" over and over.


[center][img]http://www.nerepublican.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/duck-gun-01.jpg[/img]
[i]It's safe to say that if no one in FAN has one of these already, they'll be getting one soon![/i][/center]


Attempts to get information from FAN were futile, as we couldn't carry on a decent conversation over the unabating sound of gunfire. The best we could make out was something Jack Tarr said, which we believe to be "...thought he was a moving target..." (Although it was late. And Jack had been drinking. Or maybe we had been drinking. OK, we were drunk!)


Times are tough for [b]Kahiel[/b]'s family. Finding only a crumped $10 dollar bill in his dad's pocket, Kahiel was nonetheless able to satisfy the needs of our educational standards and send himself out on a field trip. Sitting proudly on the public transit bus, headed towards downtown Farkistan, Kahiel had his first encounter with 'Real Farkistan.' The old woman that came up to him offering 'Zee Jays' seemed like a really nice person. If only he'd had a little more money to find out what she was offering.


[center][img]http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3553/5784130389_575c58e7ce.jpg[/img]
[i]If you have to ask, you can't afford it.[/i][/center]


Getting off the bus in downtown Farkistan, Kahiel was immediately met by an explosion of smells; apparently the man that puked on him was willing to put anything in his mouth. Kahiel went to the nearest hot dog vendor and was dismayed to find a sign that read 'sani-wipes for paying customers only,' but he mistook the growl of his stomach for hunger and decide to taste the local cuisine. His butt was doing the growling later.

Unfortunately, the rest of his travel journal becomes illegible after this point, and several of the pages appear to have bite marks on them. As soon as we locate Kahiel, we'll ask him to fill you in on the rest of his trip to downtown Farkistan!



[b][i][size=6pt]tl;dr

Tumultuous Papaya--Speaker of the Council
Kahiel--TF Council
BozDaBoz--TF Council
Crocodilly Pontifex--TF Council
Happy the Hobo--TF Council[/size][/i][/b]

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The Aloha alliance briefly considered declaring on Farkistan in response to Shinfat's bastardization of one of Aloha's finest pieces of mockery ...

[img]http://i565.photobucket.com/albums/ss93/alohaalliance/Aloha/AlohaProp/NSOBeerReview.gif[/img]

... but then we remembered we'd then have to request protection from Farkistan against Farkistan* - and our heads started to spin and we just went back to being malcontents in the corner.

o\

[size="1"]* ... and that we have two members, and that we don't really feel like being at war, and that we're allied, and that we don't really care that our propaganda was bastardized as long as we get to remind people we made fun of NSO (again), etc[/size]

Edited by Krack
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