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Coalition of Dark States Reformation


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[center][img]http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01112/mission_accomplish_1112950c.jpg[/img][/center]

[center][b][u]Election Results[/u][/b][/center]

Greetings OWF. It is my pleasure to announce the election results for the Random Insanity Alliance. In this thread, you'll be overjoyed at the extremes one of our members has taken to spread the word of Cactuar, weep in sadness as a long standing government member bows out, and gawk in horror as you see an important position handed to a prankster. If you feel you aren't prepared enough to ride this emotional roller coaster, you should stop reading. This is unlike anything you've ever seen.

We'll tell it to you straight. This election cycle was random, even for the RIA. You're going to see the results, and think to yourself "Are they Insane?"

Yes. Yes we are.

Let us start with our esteemed Triumvir Thunder Strike, who has decided to step down two months into his term. Although he greatly enjoyed his time in a RIA government position, he felt that the Word of Cactuar wasn't being spread fast enough. He claimed there was a higher calling for individuals as gifted as he, and we were "Keeping him down, man". Indeed, recent reports indicate that he is leading an extremist movement somewhere Down Under. We wish him the best!

[center][img]http://img66.imageshack.us/img66/8763/cactuar.gif[/img][/center]

But let us continue, and move on to the feature presentation: Election Results.

Starting with my personal favorite, our current Head of Economics, cctmsp13 (also known as Lord Viceroy of the RIA) posted a very compelling campaign made [url=http://rialliance.net/Smileys/default/spot.gif]available to the public[/url] that drew great debate and discussion. In the end his 13 terms in government spoke for themselves, regardless of his (lack of) eloquence. He will be returning next term as our Head of Economics. Surprise, surprise.

Our Captain Planet position faced significantly greater competition. Mansa Musa III, Rorick, Meatkin Pie, Arsenal 10, and [img]http://rialliance.net/Smileys/default/rainbowsheep.gif[/img] all fought fiercely for victory. Topic after topic was posted, and debate after debate was held. After many days, there was no clear victory; the vote was incredibly close. In the end though, the Nubbetry BRIgade deity Rainbow Sheep edged out a victory. It should be noted that Arsenal 10 will be [img]http://rialliance.net/Smileys/default/rainbowsheep.gif[/img]'s agent; all matters regarding the office of Captain Planet can be directed through him.

[center][img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_K_gWOOnqdIg/TUhaFDrfEbI/AAAAAAAABGQ/TV4KNMI5beU/s1600/captain-planet.jpg[/img]
[i]Sup Gibsonator21 ~_^[/i][/center]

For our Head of Military Operations, despite his opponent becoming self aware and voting for itself, Jenne managed to defeat Skynet. Yeah, who can do that and live with themselves at night? Most of RIA is seriously upset over this election. Seriously, Jenne is such a HoMo. As a programmer, I've had many a great conversation with Skynet. And I can tell you that he is [i]not[/i] taking it well.

[center][img]http://i271.photobucket.com/albums/jj127/desche_weyard/T303_T3_nuclearAttack.jpg[/img][/center]

But this is where it gets really interesting. First let's start with Thunder Strike's recently abdicated seat. This was a very contested match. SWAT128 and im317 (despite sharing three numbers at the end of their names) each had a distinct campaign platform. It was a very close race, but our former HoFA managed to pull off a victory. im317 will fill the remaining four months of Thunder Strike's term. As his first piece of legislation, he is promising 5000 tech to whoever can correctly guess what in King Ayden's name im317 stands for. Personally, I'm not even gonna try.

All this typing has actually given me a handcramp, so I'm going to take a quick break. Delta1212 was kind enough to compose an original piece for you all to hear. Don't tell Liz though, we promised we wouldn't post it.
[quote][13:17:52] <&Delta1212[RIA]> Xiphin' in the front seat, Lizzin' in the back seat
[13:17:57] <&Delta1212[RIA]> Gotta make your mind up
[13:18:28] <&Delta1212[RIA]> Which seat can you take[/quote]

Sorry Liz.

Anyways. At this point, if you're still reading, you're probably wondering how the hell our Topic Title ties into the RIA election results. Before I answer that, let me announce our new Head of Foreign Affairs.....

Leo! That's right, the man that has made a game out of being banned from as many IRC channels as possible when he's not trolling other alliance government (Lol, u mad wF?) has been elected into actual government. If you don't know who he is, you don't have enough contact with the RIA. Those of you who do are probably in shock right now, or thinking that this is a poor troll attempt on my part. See, that's the beauty of this. It's not trolling, but at the same time it is. Leo finally figured out that the best way to cause Mayhem in CN is to become an [i]actual[/i] gov member. Yeah, be scared. Lord knows Delta1212 is.

[center][img]http://www.funnycommercialsworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/dean-winters-mayhem-is-coming.jpg[/img][/center]

So now that that is out of the way, why call this thread Coalition of Dark States Reformation? Because our next three gov members actually grew up in the CDS. Almost all of you know one of them. That's right, Mogar has been elected as the RIA HoR. He will take over Recruitment from our esteemed Gangs. And there was much rejoicing. Next, Croix has been elected as our Head of Internal Affairs. This will be his first term in RIA gov, and we wish him the best. He'll do a fantastic job!

[center][img]http://www.glamkiller.com/wp-content/gallery/barbie-amp-ken/expos-deco-design-barbie-karl-lagerfeldf-45760.jpg[/img]
[i]Speaking of HoR's, did you know Simms from RnR likes Barbies? Information courtesy of Torchwood[/i][/center]

Finally, we arrive at the Coup de Grâce. Some of you are probably wondering why Shadow Dragon, more commonly known as Shadow, isn't posting this topic. Well, after 19 terms as Triumvir alongside Delta, the combo has finally been broken. I have risen up and completed my life goal. Shadow, it pleases me to say, has been Slain. He is no more.

Let that sink in for a minute [img]http://rialliance.net/Smileys/default/smiley_smug.gif[/img]. Yeah, I defeated the ultimate life form (Don't let Delta see that word, he'll start ranting about his evolution game <_<)

How did I do it? I'm glad you asked. My campaign platform was relatively simple. I just pointed to my username, and promised that if I won I'd troll Shadow quite hard. An activity I would now like to invite all of you to participate in as well. It's relatively easy to contribute:

[list]
[*]Laugh at him in this topic, and/or....
[*]Join #ria on coldfront
[*]Highlight Shadow[RIA]
[*]Point and laugh
[/list]

So Shadow... how does it feel? Does it hurt? Do you feel regret at not making it to twenty terms? Are you angry with me? How are you coping? As your Triumvir, I order you to write me a response that is exactly 326 words long. Any more or any less, and you will be tried for Treason.

That said, I must take my burritos and attend to important Tri specific issues. Namely, demasking Shadow, so he cannot see our government materials. After all, we wouldn't want classified information falling into the hands of a regular member now would we Shadow?

But before our tearful farewell, our esteemed member Mansa Musa III has agreed to impart some of his wisdom upon us.


"That reminds me of one time my girlfriend invited me to her house. I found her sister alone in the house; she was unbelievably sexy and whispered in my ear, “I have feelings for you, let's f***.” I immediately turned around and walked out the front door to my car. I found my girlfriend standing there; she hugged me and said: “You’ve passed the test!”

Moral of the story: always keep your condoms in the car"


So, it is my (Read: Not Shadow's) pleasure to announce our new Cabinet XLIV and Triumvirate VII, unofficially nicknamed "Troll":

Triumvirate: Delta1212, Shadow Slayer, im317
Head of Economics: cctmsp13
Head of Foreign Affairs: Leo
Head of Internal Affairs: Croix
Head of Military Operations: Jenne
Head of Recruitment: Mogar
Captain Planet: [img]http://rialliance.net/Smileys/default/rainbowsheep.gif[/img]

[center][img]http://i271.photobucket.com/albums/jj127/desche_weyard/Cactuar-1.png[/img][/center]

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[center][img]http://images.wikia.com/cybernations/images/b/bc/RIAFlagShadow4.png[/img][/center]
[center][img]http://images.wikia.com/cybernations/images/3/36/1stshadowdragon.jpg[/img][/center]
[center][size="4"]Official Response from the Office of the Ultimate Lifeform[/size][/center]

His Lordship, the esteemed ShadowDragon of the Cheeselands would like to convey his congratulations to the so called "Shadow Slayer" for his successful coup d'état in this most recent election. His reported slaying was shown to our lordship at his vacation home in the Florida Keys. He stated he enjoyed watching it very much and commented on how the reports of his downfall have been greatly exaggerated. Despite being proven to be false on numerous occasions, the so called "Shadow Slayer's" large smear campaign about his lordship being anti-random and anti-insane proved to be successful. Our lordship hopes the people will open their eyes and see the truth about this so called "Shadow Slayer's" true motives. Shortly after his victory in the election the so called "Shadow Slayer" quickly struck and attempted to once again slay his lordship. However, like all other attempts his lordship was able to quickly respawn afterwards. In a personal message to the so called "Shadow Slayer", his lordship commented that he would be happy to ignore all of his duties and force the so called "Shadow Slayer" to do them for a little bit while he continues to relax in his vacation home. When he decides to return, his lordship expects the so called "Shadow Slayer" to have his resignation ready for his lordship may peacefully return to his rightful seat.

Sincerely,
Shadow, By the Grace of Cactuar, His Glorious Excellency The Most Holy, Blessed, and Venerable Eternal Triumvir of Random Insanity and the Dominions and Territories thereunto belonging, Captain Planet Emeritus, Supreme Pontiff of the Holy Realms of the Cactuar, Defender of the Faith, Guardian of the Funk, Grand Master of the Most Noble Sovereign Military Order of Cactimus Prime, Central Commander of the Nintuar Clan, Leader and Guide of the Rivolucion, The Ultimate Lifeform, Mystic Dragon Emperor of the Cheeselands, Archduke of Disorder, Overlord of Lunacy, Puppetmaster of Chaos, etc.

[center][img]http://images.wikia.com/cybernations/images/c/c7/VIVALARIA.jpg[/img][/center]

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[img]http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m108/Rambo49xx/CDSsecks.jpg[/img]

[size="5"]Official Announcement of the Coalition of Dark States[/size]

Today marks a vital day for the Coalition. We've finally managed to pirate an alliance's leadership. Victory is finally ours!

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[quote name='Rambo' timestamp='1306895133' post='2721722']
[img]http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m108/Rambo49xx/CDSsecks.jpg[/img]

[size="5"]Official Announcement of the Coalition of Dark States[/size]

Today marks a vital day for the Coalition. We've finally managed to pirate an alliance's leadership. Victory is finally ours!
[/quote]

I can't tell you how much I missed you man.

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If Shadow Slayer learned anything from the CDS, it's how to rub in winning an election and raising a coup, well done.



But honestly, RIA's in great hands. Those three are some of the best people I've known in my time on Bob.



except for Mogar you guys really dropped the ball electing him :(

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[quote name='Rambo' timestamp='1306896278' post='2721744']
If Shadow Slayer learned anything from the CDS, it's how to rub in winning an election and raising a coup, well done.



But honestly, RIA's in great hands. Those three are some of the best people I've known in my time on Bob.



except for Mogar you guys really dropped the ball electing him :(
[/quote]

How close are you of take over FAN? I'm almost couping random, then we can merge the three alliances. :ph34r:

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A thread that involves Shadow Slayer, Croix, and CDS... wow. I was completely ready to believe you'd try to revive CDS, SS. :P

Edit: Omg, Rambo is here too. This is too much.

Edited by Graphix
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[quote name='Graphix' timestamp='1306897757' post='2721769']
A thread that involves Shadow Slayer, Croix, and CDS... wow. I was completely ready to believe you'd try to revive CDS, SS. :P

Edit: Omg, Rambo is here too. This is too much.
[/quote]

Hi Graphix :D. Sorry for being a n00b all those years ago.

[quote name='Lord Fingolfin' timestamp='1306897964' post='2721772']
You guys don't disappoint. Sorry to see Thunder and Shadow step down though, that was a solid Triumvirate, though I have faith the current one will stand strong. Also you guys are doomed with Leo as HoFA. Doomed.
[/quote]

Shadow didn't step down. I defeated him in 1v1 combat.

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I recognize my newly elected office, and I agree, Rambo, dropped the ball on Mogar getting there, I should have learned not to let him be HoR.

This victory over my esteemed opponent shall mark the dawn of a new age of RIA, a dawn of- wait, I'm not FA, damn you Leo.

Oh well, it happens.

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[quote name='SWAT128' timestamp='1306903499' post='2721812']
:mad:

I should be tri, my numbers are way better than im317's.
[/quote]
I'm no mathematicaltician, but I'm pretty sure that 317>128.


And yes, I will conquer Delta. When it is all over, it shall be I standing over the corpse of the being who you once called your beloved cupcake!

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