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Dunder Mifflin - Flying Hellfish United merger


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Today I received the following memo from Corporate:


[b]To:[/b] Dunder Mifflin Regional Managers
[b]From:[/b] Dunder Mifflin Corporate Headquarters
[b]Subject:[/b] FHU merger
[b]Date:[/b] 4/6/2010

Regional managers should prepare their branches for the pending merger with Flying Hellfish United. Due to the
current economic climate and to ensure fiscal viability by reduction of redundancies, there will be staffing
changes post-merger. It is not financially viable to keep two branches open. A small number will be
transferred and the rest will be receiving severance packages. Human Resources will be forwarding those
lists by the end of the day.

Oh, so times get a little tough and suddenly Corporate wants to sell out and turn over the branch to Dethkon? Are you kidding? It is an outrage, that's all. It's... they're making a huge, huge mistake. Let's see Dethkon replace these people. Let's see Dethkon find another Maverick. You think Dynastys grow on trees? Well they don't. There is no Dynasty tree. Do you think the world is crawling with Hoopdys? Show me that farm. With Hoopdys and Pourquois and Jadoos sprouting up all over the place. Ripe for the plucking. Show me that farm. This is my house. Corporate is taking away my house and giving it to Dethkon. And they didn't even ask me if it was ok.

And they send me a memo about it? 'Thanks for all your hard work, here's a stupid memo to say you're probably out of a job.' I swear to God, if I am fired I will burn this place to the ground. To the ground.

** paces **

All right, listen up. Some of you may have heard some rumors about the branch closing. But, I am not going to take this lying down. I have a plan and I am going to save our jobs. So just hang in there. I am going to go to New York, confront the CFO, show him he's making a mistake... save the branch.

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Um, Cable, do you think maybe you're missing an earlier memo? Because Dunder Mifflin bought us out. I signed the papers earlier today. We're merging with you... :awesome:

MERGER DAY!! Hell Yeah! I and the Hellfish coming with me are very excited to join the Dunder Mifflin family.

Edited by Dethkon1
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[quote name='scutterbug' timestamp='1302126741' post='2685717']
Is it just me, or is it rather odd for the bigger micro to be merging into the smaller one? Guess Cable really loves the power.
sooo seconding this.

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yeah... this day has not turned out like I thought it would. Completely blind sided... but on to other pastures. Looking forward to working in Dunder Mifflin. (Hey Cable, we gotta talk about this benefits package, and are you sure its 3 months before the first paycheck... and do i really have to sit in the server closet?)

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