Cable77 Posted April 6, 2011 Report Share Posted April 6, 2011 Today I received the following memo from Corporate: [quote][img]http://www.dundermifflinalliance.com/images/small_logo.png[/img] [b]To:[/b] Dunder Mifflin Regional Managers [b]From:[/b] Dunder Mifflin Corporate Headquarters [b]Subject:[/b] FHU merger [b]Date:[/b] 4/6/2010 __________________________________________________________________________________________ Regional managers should prepare their branches for the pending merger with Flying Hellfish United. Due to the current economic climate and to ensure fiscal viability by reduction of redundancies, there will be staffing changes post-merger. It is not financially viable to keep two branches open. A small number will be transferred and the rest will be receiving severance packages. Human Resources will be forwarding those lists by the end of the day. [/quote] Oh, so times get a little tough and suddenly Corporate wants to sell out and turn over the branch to Dethkon? Are you kidding? It is an outrage, that's all. It's... they're making a huge, huge mistake. Let's see Dethkon replace these people. Let's see Dethkon find another Maverick. You think Dynastys grow on trees? Well they don't. There is no Dynasty tree. Do you think the world is crawling with Hoopdys? Show me that farm. With Hoopdys and Pourquois and Jadoos sprouting up all over the place. Ripe for the plucking. Show me that farm. This is my house. Corporate is taking away my house and giving it to Dethkon. And they didn't even ask me if it was ok. And they send me a memo about it? 'Thanks for all your hard work, here's a stupid memo to say you're probably out of a job.' I swear to God, if I am fired I will burn this place to the ground. To the ground. ** paces ** All right, listen up. Some of you may have heard some rumors about the branch closing. But, I am not going to take this lying down. I have a plan and I am going to save our jobs. So just hang in there. I am going to go to New York, confront the CFO, show him he's making a mistake... save the branch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jens of the desert Posted April 6, 2011 Report Share Posted April 6, 2011 The best news I've heard all year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen Hoopdy the 1st Posted April 6, 2011 Report Share Posted April 6, 2011 Does this mean we're moving to Nashua? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unpronounced Posted April 6, 2011 Report Share Posted April 6, 2011 Ouch, it was going so well. I knew I should have work more... Any chance we can cancel this merger and save our branch? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChairmanHal Posted April 6, 2011 Report Share Posted April 6, 2011 So post-merger will the new organization be known as 'The Flying Dunder Fish'? Inquiring minds want to know.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cable77 Posted April 6, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2011 Maybe. Come on Unpronounced, we're going to New York. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dethkon1 Posted April 6, 2011 Report Share Posted April 6, 2011 (edited) Um, Cable, do you think maybe you're missing an earlier memo? Because Dunder Mifflin bought us out. I signed the papers earlier today. We're merging with you... MERGER DAY!! Hell Yeah! I and the Hellfish coming with me are very excited to join the Dunder Mifflin family. Edited April 7, 2011 by Dethkon1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scutterbug Posted April 6, 2011 Report Share Posted April 6, 2011 Is it just me, or is it rather odd for the bigger micro to be merging into the smaller one? Guess Cable really loves the power. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The King Posted April 6, 2011 Report Share Posted April 6, 2011 [quote name='scutterbug' timestamp='1302126741' post='2685717'] Is it just me, or is it rather odd for the bigger micro to be merging into the smaller one? Guess Cable really loves the power. [/quote] sooo seconding this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cable77 Posted April 6, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2011 [quote name='Dethkon1' timestamp='1302125491' post='2685710']We're merging with you... [/quote] Good job, Unpronounced, we saved the branch! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RustyNail Posted April 6, 2011 Report Share Posted April 6, 2011 On a scale of 1-10, I rate this merger a "meh". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cable77 Posted April 6, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2011 The best laid plans.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supa_Troop3r Posted April 6, 2011 Report Share Posted April 6, 2011 Well this is odd.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Liebenow Posted April 6, 2011 Report Share Posted April 6, 2011 Fascinating, but I can't say I dislike you guys. Good stuff here. Although, as others have stated, bizarre merger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mindbullet Posted April 6, 2011 Report Share Posted April 6, 2011 yeah... this day has not turned out like I thought it would. Completely blind sided... but on to other pastures. Looking forward to working in Dunder Mifflin. (Hey Cable, we gotta talk about this benefits package, and are you sure its 3 months before the first paycheck... and do i really have to sit in the server closet?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mastermind Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 Lol. Subtle power grab is not subtle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzy95 Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 I guess you all missed the memo that we're based off "The Office" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banksy Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 [img]http://screenrant.com/wp-content/uploads/rickygervais.jpg[/img] We did it first~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cable77 Posted April 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 [quote name='Banksy' timestamp='1302135547' post='2685809'] [img]http://screenrant.com/wp-content/uploads/rickygervais.jpg[/img] We did it first~ [/quote] There are multiple branches all over the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kajdav Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 This may be the best themed alliance I've ever seen. Why haven't I ever heard of you guys before? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twodivine Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 FHU it's been a great run as you guys as our protectorate. May your new journey with Dunder Miffin be just as fun. DT will be there to watch over your AA while you transition. Good luck friends o/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cable77 Posted April 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 Thanks Myworld! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xanth Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 Thats what she said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mindbullet Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 (edited) Thanks Myworld! All of us appreciate it. I personally had a blast growing and fighting along side DT and learning from my friends. o/ DT Edited April 7, 2011 by mindbullet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helena Cain Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 /me Pulls out all her stock in Dunder Mifflin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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