Maelstrom Vortex Posted March 30, 2011 Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 [center][img]http://images.wikia.com/cybernations/images/3/31/NPODragonisia.jpg[/img][/center] [center][url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0LQWxpappI"]For the Glory of the Emperor.[/url][/center] (Dragonisian Associated Press) Dragonisia, Pacifica - 03/29/2011 - In Local News, Dragonisian troops prepare to return to the front. Many have been moved to train yards where they will be sent abroad to Pacifican nations enduring the brunt of the conflict on other borders. The restock continues as the armory nears maximum capacity. Our Great Leader has called for the National Orchestra to play a score partially of his design in order to embolden our troops. The score, to be part of a broader arrangement, is to be played to represent each of the participating combatants we as a nation are primarily expecting to be engaging when we move to support the Pacific in its efforts to end the war. It is being called, "The Symphony of the Second Armageddon." 1. [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZ1GbBlS9wM"]Prelude, Glory to the Fallen.[/url] 2. [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15LEGIKvFcY"]Honoring those who still stand.[/url] 3. [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyU6ZhOrsUk"]And to those who will rise to stand in time.[/url] 4. [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeOiky8pRJs"]God Save Dragonisia and Our Glorious Leader.[/url] 5. [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iVlP3mvEY4"]The Mushroom Kingdom is confused as ever.[/url] 6. [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALwwlf4yb1g"]Nordreich attempts to imitate its superiors.[/url] 7. [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glt58kIGNXg"]The Goons and their love song to their bank.[/url] 8. [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KtF7ql3FJc"]Umbrella keeps them all dangling by a string.[/url] 9. [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3Vg8eqHans"]The Doom House Intermission Music.[/url] 10. [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrIYT-MrVaI"]Return to the Front.[/url] 11. [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbw1pGUhG7Q"]The Lands Before her Laid Waste.[/url] 12. [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uvAPL5596g"]Pacifica.. and Dragonisia Prevail.[/url] 13. [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHAvjaHtlMA"]Into the future we soar on wings unbroken.[/url] When asked an explanation for his selections, Our Great Leader made the following statement, "Art is subject to the interpretation of those who view it. Is there a message? You decide." "Why 13 source pieces?" Gerald Davis, with DAP inquired. Maelstrom responded, "For luck of course. For every dozen soldiers we send out, at least one will not return home. To this as of yet unnamed face, I dedicate the one beyond a dozen. They have earned the ultimate freedom." In Imperial news, allies from our side of the conflict continue to leave the battlefield under recommendation of the coalition, based upon its strategic aims. Our Great Leader has expressed his immense gratitude for those who have fallen along side of Pacifica having endured the struggle this long. While we continue to struggle, word has it that our lower battalions are making headway in bucking and controlling those within their range, giving hope that Pacifica, despite the losses of its comrades in arms to this conflict continues to make progress in the war effort despite seemingly near impossible odds. I had the opportunity to discuss the war with Retired General John Little, head of Dragonisian command during the Karma conflict. Below is a summary of our conversation ###### Me: "General Little, how does the current conflict compare to your experiences in the Karma conflict? I know you lost your leg in that war, it must have been rough." General Little: "This war is not quite as bad. It's still a tremendous war, that is no doubt, but I have not seen darker days than I had then. Dragonisia is in remarkably fit shape 2 months into this war despite the beatings she endured by enemy forces. I attribute that to our effective planning during the peace. We took the opportunity we had to arm ourselves, knowing full well the same enemies that perpetuated that conflict were now in power and more than likely going to return for more one day; whether or not we deserved it at the time they would attack. Hell, we weren't even a nuclear power during Karma. Fortunately for Pacifica, it is in her darkest hours he shines the brightest." Me: "Do you believe Pacifica has a chance at winning this war?" General Little: "It depends on how the victory is defined. We are facing a war of extermination.. an extermination of who we are now, what we at one time represented, and of course our future. Our enemies have no desire to see us even near a position of leadership ever again. They fear if we do we will take vengeance." Me: "Would we?" General Little: "No. If it's one thing we have learned it is that an over-aggressive appetite for vengeance is a fool's errand. So is an over-aggressive appetite for absolute control and security as this war is about now. This war is going to backfire on our enemies. It may not happen now, but it will. It's just a matter of the neutral powers waking up to realize that they will not be tolerated in a dominant position despite their peaceful demeanor and their will to stick to simply building." "Once this war is over, the powers in Doomhouse.. once they have recovered some.. will cast their eyes on lands yet untouched by war and seek to lay them equally low. They have proven once they will attack with little to no provocation, they will do so again. I just hope the world isn't too late in waking up to this aspect of their character. We have seen how well strategies of pacification have succeed in the past, it doesn't work. I fully expect that once the war is over we'll see treaties start dropping like flies between neutrals and Doomhouse. They'll give it some time to make it appear.. you know.. orthodox, harmless, but their plans are laid well in advance." "Truly, Pacifica has changed much in the past half decade. I for one am glad for it. I have always wanted us to be on a more benevolent path, and so has our great leader." Me: "You know we are going to have our doubters." General Little: "We are never without detractors. Everyone cannot be satisfied and Pacifica, in her history, has made many angry.. and some rightfully so.. even when Dragonisia had not yet even formed." Me: "What do you think of the war correspondents program being planned with the DAP, you know.. inserting correspondents into the field during the conflict to provide live coverage of the battle.?" General Little: "I think it's a great idea. People have forgotten the cost and nature of war, it's time to remind them that it's not merely a game, but to show them the cost and suffering it brings. It's a very bloody drama. It will also help us hold accountable our warriors, commanders, and leaders for war performance." Me: "Thank you for your time General Little." General Little: "My pleasure, Comrade. I watch your shows and read your articles every chance I get." ###### Thank you for reading DAP News. Additional credit: Alyster and Brehon [quote]ooc: This article is also dedicated to the workers in the Fukishima Nuclear Plant, many who have lost all and are still giving. "Crying is useless," said another e-mail. "If we're in hell now, all we can do is crawl up towards heaven.' That is what you call true determination. [/quote] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Achilles Posted March 30, 2011 Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 The In Flames piece made the whole press. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord of the Dance Posted March 30, 2011 Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 Is this satire? Which side are you meant to be on? Very confusing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rage McKill Posted March 30, 2011 Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 (edited) [center][img]http://images.wikia.com/cybernations/images/d/db/GOONS_Ride_To_War.jpg[/img] [b][u]Wearing Jeans and Leather, Not Cracker-Jack Clothes.[/u][/b][/center] (CrushMaim Weekly) Burger Town, Little Mikes - 03/31/2011 - Last night, an emergency gathering of press was mandated by Rage McKill. With myself being the only reporter remaining in Little Mikes, I was unceremoniously thrown into a large room, the door giving an ominous click behind me. I looked around, my eyes struggling to adjust to the new lighting. A massive auditorium stood before me, rows upon rows of empty chairs meticulously lined up to face the center podium, surrounded by numerous microphones and cameras. Plush red carpet guided guests to their seats. A giant spotlight completed the display, blasting down onto the stage enough photons to fry a small animal. I glanced at the ticket I was given just seconds before my entrance. Row 1 - Seat 43, right in the center. Before I could sit down and get a good look around, a hurried-looking bureaucrat scooted over to the podium. "The p-press release will begin immediately!" his squeaky voice exploding out of the gargantuan sound system. I sat down and he continued, "Please join me in welcoming our incredible leader, bringer of all that is war and refined carbohydrates, Rage McKill!" The spotlight screeched to the right, following a burly figure as he strode to the podium. He had chosen his classic outfit of worn-and-torn jeans mixed with a slightly stained wife beater, completed with a unbuttoned plaid over shirt. Strapped to his belt was an evidently well-loved fire axe, which he kept at his side wherever he went. I sat there, notepad in my lap, my lone clapping echoing through the room. He looked around the room, his eyes scanning the chairs before settling on me. He glared. I smiled. He leaned over to the unknown official, whispering. [size="1"]"I thought we had at least 5 of them from last time I remember doing this, where the hell are they?" "S-sir, the uh.. [inaudible].. remember?" "Oh, right."[/size] He thanked the unknown official, who then almost sprinted offstage to the left. "Right, then!" his voice booming from the speakers, hands grasping the sides of the podium. "I will begin by.." A pause. He withdrew a stack of weathered notecards from his back pocket and placed them on the podium, staring at the first card. "I will begin by presenting some new themes, composed for our glorious nation!" He looked around the room with a forced smile. I clapped. "I would also like to announce that the Department of Numbers has finished wrapping up another report of useless statistics for our viewing pleasure." McKill consulted the notecards, "As of today, Little Mikes has been in a state of war since.." He squinted at the card, "..one month before it's creation." "That's.. incredible. Let's move on." A projector began to whirr and a powerpoint slide slowly came into view. [quote]new tanks plan[list] [*]switch from tanks to war motorbikes - warbikes!! need to have loud speakers + mounted launchers [*]mohawks [*]tactical goggles (maybe with the hud thing those fighter pilot guys have) [*]some sick tats - consult mandozer asap [*]jeans, leather vests, maybe body armor?? [*]going for retro apocalypse look here [/list][/quote] "Damn it, hold on." His giant hands struggled with the tiny remote. *click* [quote]Awesum stuff for glorousnation!![list] [*][url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUx8gRFnNWQ"]warbike attack song[/url] (needs to be played while killing things) [*][url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHyUYxBXLdc"]another attac song[/url] (ooh yeaahh oooh yeaaahhh) [*][url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WS6-vI70oc0"]rages quiet thinking time music[/url] [*][url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=in8MuHJCXdI"]pacifica prevails[/url] [/list][/quote] "There." He leaned over the podium, glaring at me, "Start asking questions." I flipped open my notepad. ###### [u]Me:[/u] "Any reason for the four songs?" [u]Rage McKill:[/u] "Listen up you, thirteen songs is a pain in the ass to put together. I can't fit that many dots up there, anyway." [u]Me:[/u] "I am not criticizing the number of songs." [u]Rage McKill:[/u] [laughs] "Oh. Yeah! I chose them because they represent.. something. I also wanted to make a subtle dig at NPO, did you catch it?" [u]Me:[/u] "Yes. Yes I did." [silence] [u]Me:[/u] "Hmm. A number of citizens have expressed dissatisfaction with your administration and wish for a Little Mike..ian royal family to rule over them. Do you foresee any plans to address this concern? [u]Rage McKill:[/u] "A royal.. what?" [u]Me:[/u] "A royal family, a Monarchistic government wherein the ruler is determined by hereditary means." [u]Rage McKill:[/u] "That is the most reta- Why would you want that? I don't.. Did we put something in the food? Do we still have food..?" [u]Me:[/u] "Perhaps. Do you see the Doomhouse bloc winning the current conflict?" [u]Rage McKill:[/u] [mocking tone] "I guess it'll depend on how the victory is defined." [u]Me:[/u] "..I take it we're done?" [u]Rage McKill:[/u] "Yes. Go report it or something. Why do I even do these?" ###### Well, that was about as fruitful as these press conferences go. I got up and began walking down the red plush. "Hold up there." I turned around. Rage stared from the podium. "How good are you with a motorcycle?" Edited March 30, 2011 by Rage McKill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CEverettKoop Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 [quote name='Rage McKill' timestamp='1301528519' post='2680955'] 2nd round KO [/quote] By golly goon sir, you've done it again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maelstrom Vortex Posted March 31, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 (edited) [quote name='CEverettKoop' timestamp='1301532030' post='2681003'] By golly goon sir, you've done it again. [/quote] He's pretty funny, have to give him credit. And to think if I weren't inspiring him, you wouldn't have this deliciousness. Edited March 31, 2011 by Maelstrom Vortex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NLights Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 [quote name='Maelstrom Vortex' timestamp='1301548314' post='2681230'] He's pretty funny, have to give him credit. And to think if I weren't inspiring him, you wouldn't have this deliciousness. [/quote] We wouldn't know greatness without knowing its opposite. Thanks for reminding us what it is to be a terrible poster early and often, MV. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maelstrom Vortex Posted March 31, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 [quote name='NorthernLights' timestamp='1301550025' post='2681245'] We wouldn't know greatness without knowing its opposite. Thanks for reminding us what it is to be a terrible poster early and often, MV. [/quote] Considering who that comes from I will consider this.. love.. and adoration. Sticks and stones might break my bones, but whips and chains excite me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Achilles Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 [quote name='Maelstrom Vortex' timestamp='1301551712' post='2681267'] Considering who that comes from I will consider this.. love.. and adoration. Sticks and stones might break my bones, but whips and chains excite me! [/quote] MV, this scares me. Whips, Chains, Excitement. No. Just NO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Trail Posted April 1, 2011 Report Share Posted April 1, 2011 (edited) [quote name='Rage McKill' timestamp='1301528519' post='2680955'] Snip [/quote] I prefer this version of kings of metal http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiESgYr35gA It rocks a lot more Edited April 1, 2011 by The Trail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maelstrom Vortex Posted April 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2011 [quote name='The Trail' timestamp='1301616134' post='2681730'] I prefer this version of kings of metal http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiESgYr35gA It rocks a lot more [/quote] Ultimate Humiliation, having a song about yourself covered by someone else and them doing it better than you did! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Trail Posted April 1, 2011 Report Share Posted April 1, 2011 [quote name='Maelstrom Vortex' timestamp='1301638665' post='2682013'] Ultimate Humiliation, having a song about yourself covered by someone else and them doing it better than you did! [/quote] Yeah lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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