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African Dreams, Steamy Asian Nights


Captain Enema
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[b]Off the Coast of Aeon (err.. former NoN?)[/b]


Admiral Counti, formerly of the Ligurian Coastal Defense Force, gazes out over the sea. "They've all but forgotten us," he says to himself as he thinks back over the past years of endless patrols and rescue work at the behest of the Legion Council.

"Liguria will never again be our home," Captain Degrassi boldly states.

"This is a truth," Counti replies.

"We should go into business for ourselves," Degrassi exclaims.

"Yes we should, and damn it, yes we will," Counti declares as he orders the colors of Legion to be struck and their mass resignations to be dispatched to the Legion council.

"Orders sir?" Degrassi requests.

"Set sail for Macau, I hear there are fabulous things happening there these days for men and women who are enterprising and bold in spirit," Counti orders.

With this said and done the Ligurian Coastal Defense Force snorts and farts its way to life as the patrol vessels and motherships raise their anchors and get underway. Counti sends a message to the ships of his small fleet, "Fortune favors the bold!"

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In the past several years Macau had increasingly become a hive of scum and villainy controlled by the powerful Green Gang. While police forces in Hong Kong and Guangdong had cracked down on the triads, the Green Gang's Macau operations had for some reason been largely left alone. It was suspected by many there that some particularly high party members were were at the head of the Green Gang Macau Branch. Beijing knew it couldn't wipe out crime completely so it let it be controlled by people who were smart. The Green Gang knew Beijing was reasonable but just as ruthless as they were, and they weren't going to $%&@ with that. Over the past ten years it had gained a near monopoly on heroin production out of Laos and Cambodia, and had turned Macau into one of the most important black market ports in the world. The casinos provided massive money laundering fronts for everything from prostitution, to drugs, to heavy weapons, and in many cases black-ops sanctioned piracy. It was the one place in the entire United Federation of the East where you could get around without many questions being asked. The Green Gang knew who could upset Beijing and kept those elements out, but for the rest they were well connected enough to get someone to look the other way.

Macau in the past few weeks was particularly... lively. The UFE authorities had just "resettled" several ghettos in Guangdong and Hong Kong of people who had been nominally associated with the Revolutionary Communist Party but really worked for one of the few viable opium traders. The UFE had found them particularly inconvenient but it'd be hard to kill them themselves as they hadn't joined the uprising, so instead it would be left to more reliable gangsters. As such the past few weeks had even less customs to enter port than usual as the hopelessly undermanned public security division was responding to shooting after shooting in the slum areas and securing the up-scale but equally shady Casinos.

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Gentleman Johnny Germaine steps off the plane at Macau International Airport. He's on assignment from the African Legion Council to pave the way of the Ligurian Coastal Defense Force into Macau. There are no hard feelings about their mass resignation as the Legion Council is somewhat surprised the LCDF managed to last as long as they did out in the Red Sea.

His mission is to arrange berthing space, housing, and resupply for the LCDF to get them adjusted to living life out in Asia. Further, he's empowered to act as an official representative for the LCDF to the local authorities. Even more interesting is his private mission of establishing a branch of Port Sudan Imports and Exports in Macau in the interest of capitalizing on the local situation.

"Business just smells damn good," Germaine says to himself as he slides his passport over to the customs officer. No doubt Chinese State Security would find several references in their computers to Germaine given his past shenanigans that involved gun running, smuggling, drug distribution, attempting to overthrow a foreign government, and international prostitution.

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The lady at the customs booth looked at the past port and the screen then looked up at him. By the look in her eyes it was clear that if he was dying and it was two minutes past her shift she wouldn't lift a finger to help him. "Ya you go by, hurry up have no all day." she said in broken english with an annoyed tone. As the man would be waved through another man was passing through the nearby line reserved for zeon party members. The man was of a diminuitive stature with a comb over and salt and pepper hair, darker skin for an east asian, and was smoking a cigarette rather compulsively.

As they headed out of customs he went up to the foreigner, "Yo, you want a job. Real easy money." he said to him in a thick Vietnamese accent.

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Germaine looks at the man and replies, "Well, I'm already employed, but I suppose I could at least hear your offer out." He's never been the type to turn down an offer for easy money without at least hearing it first. Easy money is easy money, though in his experience there generally is no such thing as easy money.

Well there is that one guy in Khartoum who made a killing selling pieces of razor wire claimed to be magical to some tribe of wandering desert people. It was going so well until Denard found out and he made the guy give the money back plus interest, and afterwards he broke the guy's arm. Which of course brings Germaine to his next point, never directly indulge in dirty business, which is why he was a very silent partner in that racket.

At least he is the partner who didn't get a body part violently broken for defrauding illiterate desert tribesmen who have a standard of living that used to be found in the dark ages.

Edited by Tidy Bowl Man
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"You give this to Glass Eye Kang at the Yellow Flag." he said holding a small brown box wrapped that was a bit damp at the bottom, he then thrusted it into the man's hand. "Don't !@#$@#$ open it." he said. "You do this and you get your money. Get it there." his tone was extremely malicious. When Germaine would look down at the package, the man would disappear into the crowds of the airport.

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"Right then, this could only end well," Germaine says as he wonders how much trouble he'd get into if he just threw the package in the trash. 'Best report in,' he thinks to himself as he makes his way to a bank of pay phones.

From the bowels of his memory he dredges up a number and dials it after putting many, many, many coins into the machine. He waits a bit and when the person on the other end answers he says, "Gentleman Johnny here, got a strange bit of business."

"What sort?"

"Got approached by a seedy little chap in the airport just as I cleared customs and was given a job."

"What sort?"

"Delivery to some other guy."

"Wait 24 hours and then proceed to make the delivery, assets will be moved into place to provide security. Go to your back up hotel and check in to your room, your back up will meet you." Counti orders over the satellite phone.


"Copy," Germaine replies as he hangs up the phone and makes his way to the Macau MGM Casino where a room is waiting for him under a different name. After he uses his false papers to check in, he sets his bag down next to his bed and takes a look into the minibar. 'Oh, scotch,' he thinks to himself as he starts to make a drink which is a process rudely interrupted by a knock on the door.

He looks out the peephole and grimaces as he looks at the smiling features of Sun Tzu Mtange. Otherwise known to the African Legion as the half Sudanese half Chinese Intelligence Officer who earned his fame by offering a bounty on the left ear of Marxist rebels. He further cemented his fame by offering a larger bounty on the left testicle of said rebels if the rebel lived long enough to crawl home.

Germaine opens the door and lets Sun Tzu into his room and asks, "I thought I was supposed to wait 24 hours?"

"I got here before you did," Sun Tzu replies.

"Go with the delivery now then?" Germaine asks.

"Might as well," Sun Tzu replies as he hands over a 9 mm pistol to Germaine and a pair of fourteen round magazines. Germaine tucks the pistol away into his light jacket and two leave the room to go find a taxi. Germaine isn't all that surprised that Sun Tzu is already in Macau. Chances are he was sent ahead to scout the lay of the land and the twenty four hour bit was for the benefit of anyone who might be listening in.

Once down on the street Sun Tzu speaks a few quiet words to the driver and they depart for the [i]Yellow Flag[/i] and their meeting with this Kang chap. Germaine runs through the Legion procedures for clandestine operations in his head as he watches the buildings flit by one at a time through the window of the taxi.

Before long the two men are in the seedy looking [i]Yellow Flag[/i] and Sun Tzu is quietly making it known they'd like to speak with Kang privately.

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Sitting at the back of the bar, six men in crumpled suits with cigarettes hanging out of their mouth and a bottle of erguotou half empty between them. They were squatting on the floor and playing a game of mahjong, speaking in a near unintelligible guangdonghua, judging by their tones swearing quite animatedly about each others mothers, fathers, and a few transvestite dogs probably.

Suddenly one brought out a switch blade and slammed it into the hand of the other. "Dog piss!" the man swore loudly. "!@#$@#$ cheater!" the man who stabbed him said using the switch blade to cut his sleeve revealing another tile in it.

The bartender yelled out, "Kang you !@#$%, quit !@#$@#$ causing a !@#$@#$ !@#$ storm." he yelled. "You got a visitor." he said. The man who had been stabbed came up to the bar. He looked up and down the africans, "what do you want?" he asked.

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Germaine knowing a good time when he sees it decides to promptly hand Kang the box, which is still very much unopened. Sun Tzu Mtange smiles benevolently as he watches the six men cursing and swearing and is very aware that they are now consorting with the sort of folks you probably wouldn't bring home to meet your mother.

Well, maybe you would if you wanted her dead by way of hideous torture and rape, but in no other circumstances would you let this lot through your front door. He whispers to Germaine in Tutsi, "Whatever you do, don't draw your weapon unless I say to do so."

"Ok," Germaine mutters back in English as he hands over the unopened box he was given in the airport. 'Christ, organized crime, I've only been in the city an hour and I'm up to my neck in it. I swear to god I'm going into a real line of work after this, something like selling time share condos or life insurance,' he thinks to himself.

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Kang opened the box. As he did the room was filled with the smell of rotting meat as a ear fell onto the bar room. "Your !@#$@#$ late." Kang said. He pulled out twenty 100 yuan bills, and then put five back in his pocket and gave them the rest. "This is yours." he said. "Listen, tell your bosses they want to come here, they gotta come to me first. We got a good gig, we don't need that $%&@ed up."

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"Well, we are looking to expand our operations into this part of Asia," Germaine says as he ignores the smell of rotting meat. "My employers are looking to offer... how should I say this... special services of a military type along the lines of military operations," he concludes.

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Kang's one eye looked at him square in the eye, while his glass eye leaned downwards toward the floor. He waved the hand he had his cigarette in up and down forcefully to demand attention as he lowered his voice. "I've got a big job coming up. I've got this thing in my lap, down from the !@#$@#$ big dog, ya got that?" he said. "Its !@#$@#$ golden. And I need people who can do !@#$ big. I've got people who tell me you may be able to do this but it can't be $%&@ed up. Its the opportunity of a lifetime. You guys think your up for that?"

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"Well, work is work, we can handle it as long as you can pay the bills," replies Germaine as he suddenly realizes he hasn't even arranged berthing space or supplies for the LCDF. Admiral Counti is going to string him up by the balls when he finds out that he's being hired out even before he clears the Indian subcontinent. "Just let me know what type of job it is so we can position the men and equipment accordingly."

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"The Aussies are acting up. They are all getting ready to fight a war in Central Australia, that means the east coast of Communist Australia will be vulnerable to raiding. We want you to take raid the coast, hit their banks and make off with some of their merchant marine fleet. You'll then rendevous with us at a pre determined point in the Pacific where we retrofit the ships, scrub them, so we can move them into a port. You up for that?"

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"We can do it, but we'll need some support. I'm wagering to say Communist Australia has their own Air Force. If you can "open the window" we can certainly make our way into the house to clean it out," Germaine emphasizes with his fingers as he verbally leans on the words open the window.

He looks over at Sun Tzu who nods and steps out into the street. Sun Tzu opens a prepaid cellphone and makes a call. "Dolphin here," he says when his call is answered.

"That was quick, what is going on?"

"Offer of work," he replies.

"Christo, Macau is going to be better than we ever dreamed."

"It's risky though."

"Life is full of risks. Get into an internet cafe and send me a full report via an anonymizer. Use standard word substitution as previously agreed."

"Copy, we'll arrange resupply as well, though I suspect it'll be at sea."

"Give me a rough bearing."

"You are going to need to head south towards the Coral Sea."

"Well then, life is interesting and more interesting. Coral Sea it is," Counti replies as he drags a chart off the shelf next to his desk.

"I'll report in later when I have more information. I think we may need to bring in a little help here shore parties."

"Well, you know more than me. Can you organize them and have them meet with us in the target area?"

"Shouldn't be a problem, where we come from there are always people looking for work."

"Go ahead then."

Sun Tzu turns off the phone, draws out the sim card and breaks it in half. He pulls another sim card out of his pocket and installs it into the phone. He than calls a second number and says, "Titmouse here."

"Go ahead."

"Got some work for you."

"Sounds good, standard rates?"

"No, double rates."

"Oh this sounds promising. How many bodies you going to need?"

"Maybe two hundred and fifty total. You'll need to bring your equipment as well," Sun Tzu says.

"Gotcha, I'll gather the boys and get our gear together. You forward me location and travel plans. Will we need anything heavier than our usual party favors?"

"Probably wouldn't hurt, bring something enough for a wild time."

"Gotcha, include the full details with a contract because you've lost me again you inscrutable #$##$#$@@#$@#!!!"

"Must be my Chinese half," Sun Tzu Mtange chortles.

"No doubt," the voice on the other end of the line replies as he hangs up.

Sun Tzu returns to the bar and nods at Germaine. He's been gone long enough now that the real negotiations have either been concluded or where about to really get going with a night of bai jui and women of incredibly negotiable affections. 'Ugh, god help me, I love my father's native land, but bai jui isn't fit for furniture polish' he thinks to himself as he listens to the ebb and flow of the conversation.


[b]LCDF Mothership Roma[/b]

Counti looks over the charts of the Coral Sea. He's worried that he could be biting off more than he can chew. The LCDF is primarily a search and rescue trained force, but that mission is no longer open to them. They've made their choice and are out and about to seek their fortunes.

The LCDF is a small ship force. Four Motherships carrying four [url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patrol_Boat,_River"]small craft[/url] each and five larger [url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_10412"]missile boats[/url] that operate independently. Each mothership has a pair of MD-500 Defender Gunships tasked for maritime patrol work as well. A raiding party is something the LCDF is not well prepared to perform.

'Well, not if we look at this conventionally,' thinks Counti.

He gazes out the porthole of his cabin as he looks at the LCDF Replenishment and Supply Vessels that are keeping pace with his small fleet and a crafty smile ripples up over his face. 'Perhaps a stratagem is in order,' he thinks to himself.

"It's not much, but it'll do," he says to no one in particular as he stares out the porthole.

Edited by Tidy Bowl Man
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"Let the Feddie Navy can take care of that. The Feds are already down there. Avoid their carrier and let it kill the Aussies and not you, you'll be fine." Kang said.

Several days later Operation El Dorado Canyon Thunderous Odessey Dawn in 3-D began, with Chinese media covering the bombings of anti aircraft sites and air bases with images provided by the Navy and Air Force.

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"Business shall be good," Germaine concludes as he takes his leave. With Kang he leaves a list of items required by the LCDF. Two small ships, fuel, food, equipment of various types, and of course the account number for pay. Prices and reimbursement for the equipment and supplies are arranged as well. Supplies including weapons, medical supplies, medical equipment, body armor, fuel, munitions, raiding craft, and packets of forged documents for various contingencies. Payment for those items to Kang will be made upon delivery.

Other issues such as a rendezvous point for the ships once they've been misappropriated for the their own good from the clutches of the dreaded Australian horde are arranged as well. Something discrete, quiet, and off the beaten track is agreed upon to ensure the "scrubbing" of these vessels goes off without a hitch or interference.

With their business concluded Germaine and Sun Tzu Mtange made their way back to the MGM Casino. Mtange finds a quiet looking Wang Ba and pays for one hour of time in advance with a ten quai note. He uses a memory stick, purchased for 50 quai at a local market, and loads xerobank onto the computer. Once his proxy is installed he types out two messages describing the particulars of the meeting and the timeline involved with the contract.

Upon sending the messages he removes the memory stick and spends the rest of the hour playing World of Warcraft and drinking cheap coffee as he curses at his computer screen.

[b]Port Sudan[/b]

Chargin' Charlie Beckwith grunts in anticipation as he checks his email. Going from a fully fledged General of the Legion to a independent contractor has its upsides and downsides. One of the many upsides include not having to wear a damn uniform and getting up early in the morning. Of course, being able to shag his assistants at whim also is a nice perk. He opens Mtange's email and whistles softly in surprise as he reads it.

"You don't do anything in half measures do you ol' son?" he asks himself as he picks up his phone. Two calls are made, the first alerting the first in the phone tree to order his previously chosen men to the airport. The second to an independent supplier of weapons and equipment in Asia. No way he's going to be able to get all of his men and supplies into Macau without drawing some sort of attention. Best to just send the men and have them meet the supplies there he decides.

Within an hour two hundred and eighty men, all former African Legionnaires, begin boarding planes for Macau. All of them are dressed in civilian clothing with their BDU's and other basic kit stowed away in their bags. The customs officer at Port Sudan International doesn't even look that surprised as the men march their way into the departure terminal in formation singing, "She's a dirty @#$#@# but we love her anywayyyyyyyyy!!!"

[b]Mothership Roma[/b]

"Well now," Counti says in surprise as he reads the email.

"Sir?" Degrassi asks.

"Seems our job is a bit bolder than previously anticipated."

"We still on for it?"

"Yes, get the bouys mounted with those old fire control radars. I want a back door option in place."

"How about Trojan Horse?"

"Not going to be needed, but the ship in question is to be prepared for another mission."

"Another backdoor?"

"Of course, something more dramatic and graphic," Counti intones as the two men chuckle.

The former LCDF fleet, now renamed the "Gentleman's Gun and Rod Club of Northumbria" makes its way quietly into the Coral Sea. Once in the Coral Sea it begins to discrete deploy small bouys in its wake. They bouys are equipped with an old fire control radar emitter and a pair of independently wired transmitters, battery cases, and receivers. They are small, painted to look rusty, designed to be ignored as flotsam, and not something you'd normally see at first glance.

Edited by Tidy Bowl Man
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Funds were transmitted to a prearranged account through a series of cutout accounts ran through the Port Sudan Community Bank of Africa. Coincidentally, the Port Sudan Bank of Africa is also one of the few banks left that has no electronic database. All accounts are recorded by hand in a ledger that is kept in a secured vault. Funds are transmitted via Western Union to avoid the use of dedicated electronic transactions.

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