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July 23, 2006 A day which changed the world. A small band of misfits and crazy people flew from another world into this one. We called ourselves the Random Insanity Alliance. So much has happened in these past 8 years. We have had many a friend and enemy. So many members have come and gone. Those that are gone will long be remembered and those that remain or return will always be brothers. Since our founding 8 years ago, the RIA has had many flags: [hr] [hr] [hr] [hr] [hr] [hr] [hr] [hr] [hr] [hr] [hr] [hr] [hr] [hr] [hr] [hr] [hr] [hr] [hr] [hr] Some facts about the RIA: * RIA originally spawned out of the Random Insanity social board on GameFAQs. * RIA's original purpose for invading Planet Bob was to help the "Red Team" (NPO) defeat the LUEnited Nations. * ~47% (28 out of 60) of our current membership has been in RIA government for at least one term in our history. * RIA is and has always been a democratic republic. Elections occur every 2 months. Long ago they used to occur every month but this changed via an amendment in early 2009 to allow more time for the Cabinet to implement longer term goals. * RIA is on its 3rd ConstRItution which has been amended 6 times since it took effect in December 2007. * RIA is currently on its Eleventh Triumvirate and prior to its establishment we had 9 single Leaders & 9 Co-Leaders . Each Triumvir serves 6 month terms with a different Triumvir up for election every 2 months. The Leader and Co-Leader in the alliance's beginnings each served 1 month terms. * RIA originally switched to a Triumvirate mainly because Delta1212, Azural, and Moth kept rotating around and defeating each other as Leader. So Delta re-wrote the ConstRItution for the RIA to have 3 leaders instead of 1. * RIA's longest serving Triumvir and government member is Shadow who took office on August 10, 2008 and has been re-elected ever since. * RIA is currently on its 62nd Cabinet. Our Cabinet consists of 5 members each in charge of a different department: Foreign Affairs, Internal Affairs, Military Operations, Recruitment, and Economics. Each position is up for election every 2 months. * RIA's current forums are our second forums and have existed since April 2007. They have had 358906 posts, 28813 Topic, and 4030 members since their creation. * The RIA is officially a maroon team alliance. 59/60 members of the RIA are on the maroon team. The RIA is ConstRItutionally mandated to always be on the maroon team. The part of the ConstRItution this is in can never be amended or removed from any future ConstRItution. * In the same clause as the above, it states that the RIA cannot constitutionally disband or merge into alliance unless 80% of its total membership approve of doing so in a poll of indefinite length. * RIA's original IRC channel - #RIA on esper.net - was banned after one of the early Great Moth Summonings. It is told in legends that an infidel, one of the operators of the network, attempted to shut down the great summoning and was treated with many a insult in response including an ASCII middle finger from our webmaster. In response to this, the channel and most of our active irc membership got nuked from the network. Thus expediated our migration to synIRC and eventually Coldfront where #RIA lives today after synIRC died out. * The RIA has fought in 14 wars throughout our history against a total of 35 alliances. Of those 35, only 12 are alive today. * The RIA has fought 3 alliances twice: Valhalla, Nordreich, and the Siberian Tiger Alliance. * The RIA declared the Maroon Defense Coalition, a member of The Initiative, in Great War III due to having some grievances against them but had no treaty ties to the Aegis side nor any MDP+ treaties at that time. * The RIA joined the Grand Union of Alliances for Rapport and Defense (GUARD) bloc in July 2007 only for it to collapse less then a month later. Coincidence? You decide. >_> * The RIA was declared on by the League of Extraordinary Nations and OTF Alliance in the War of the Coalition (WoTC/NoCB War) but both of those alliances later came to the RIA's defense in the Karma War. We sometimes have that effect on people. * The RIA has never taken a penny of reps in any war. The only 2 alliances that have taken reps from us, the Maroon Defense Coalition and Grand Global Alliance, are no longer in this world. Coincidence? You decide. >_> * The RIA once peaked at 389 members in November 2007 thanks mainly due to the recruiting efforts of a former member known as Vintus. * According to our records, the RIA peaked at exactly 6,300,000 on November 27, 2011. * The RIA is currently at its highest known average nation strength of ~55,000. * The RIA was once a sanctioned alliance. It first become one on February 21, 2011. Our forum tag was the first .gif submitted & accepted: * The RIA maintains 9 separate treaties with the Coalition of Royal Allied Powers with our relationship beginning on November 11, 2007 when we first signed a protectoRIte pact with them. * The RIA's oldest active defense treaty is the Chestnut Accords between CRAP, GOD, RIA, and TTK signed on December 27, 2008. * The RIA and TTK have an active non-aggression pact which was signed on October 20, 2006 - making it one of the oldest treaties in existence. * The RIA and USN also maintain an active non-aggression pact which was signed on February 3, 2007 making it also one of the oldest treaties in existence. * To complete the circle the TTK and USN also have a non-aggression pact which was signed on January 13, 2007 creating a circle of ancient NAPs between 3 of maroon's oldest alliances. * Even if the other signatories do not, the RIA recognizes having an optional non-aggression pact known as Bastion (http://cybernations.wikia.com/wiki/Bastion_(2nd)) with the Independence Republic of Orange Nations, The Order of the Paradox, and Umbrella. * The most active foreign embassies on the RIA forums are: the Independent Republic of Orange Nations with 3468 posts, the New Polar Order with 1591 posts, the New Pacific Order with 1561 posts, the Coalition of Royal Allied Powers with 1420 posts, R&R with 1006 posts, and the New Sith Order with 812 posts. * The RIA, in an attempt to emulate the NSA, maintains vast records on the world we live on. RIA's cybernetic overlord - RI5- maintains records of 95% of every war & aid transaction, and daily statistics on alliances on Planet Bob since 2011 thanks to our overlord admin's daily downloadable stat archives. Alongside these it maintains records of past spy reports, a nation advisor for our members which tracks their growth, and numerous other fun tools. * Via RI5, RIA's tech trading is entirely automated with daily reminder PMs coming out to those who should send or be receiving tech. Since the beginning of 2014, the RIA has traded $7,537,000,238.00 & 106752 tech. Of this the RIA internally traded $4,267,000,238.00 & 50,051 tech, the RIA and R&R traded $1,404,000,000.00 & 28,500 tech, and the RIA & CRAP traded $444,000,000.00 & 9,499 tech. Thanks to R&R & CRAP for contributing an overwhelming amount to our tech growth. * The RIA is just about to hit 300,000 tech! * This announcement is slightly early since we don't technically turn 8 until 1:40:31 PM when the first RIAer made his nation, however Shadow is impatient and announced it early. * Shadow has written an estimated 90% of the RIA's announcements over the last ~5 years. For some strange reason RIAers still let him do them all. RIAers are known to each maintain vast herds of llamas. The RIA forum keeps track of how many llamas each member and foreign dignitaries have. The top llama herders are as followed: The RIA recognizes all of those who have served in government throughout the years and who each helped shape the RIA's course in this world: * Aaron * Agent Lemon * ananegg * Atonichis775 * Arsenal 10 * Artema Dragon * Azural * bioakky * Bluestrike * brian * C-zom (wethepeople) * cctmsp13 * cheeseaholic * Crazyisraelie * Croix * Damen * Delta1212 * dester55 * Dontasemebro * DrunkWino * Emperor Whimsical * EnragedLobster * Flask * gangs20003 * Grand Poobah Marx * GrilledSlug * Hyperonic * iKrolm * im317 * invincible13matt * Jenne * Joga Bonito * Kaiser * King Death II * King Sqrt * Kloo Shanko * Lanna * Leo * Lord Doom * Loren * Mogar * Moth * Myrrh * Nitemarebforcrismas * Ogaden * Omega-Red * Pinwheel * Prince Tomb * Princess Celly * Queue1 * reoga * rlrcstrnthuist * rodrod * Shadow * Shadow Slayer * Shyox * smeeth * SWAT128 * Thunder Strike * uchiha * Vector * Vintus * VL * zblewski * zombie2000 * The RIA's processed applications boards contains 1663 accepted applications & 490 denied/invalid applications since April 2007. We remember & recognize all those former members of the RIA for their contributions to our history. May they one day find their way back to us or continue living their lives to their fullest. The RIA has fought the following alliances in our history, most of which were fun battles: To those that are still alive: it was fun. :) * Argent * Echelon * Global Alliance and Treaty Organization * Kaskus * League of Small Superpowers * Non Grata * Nordreich * Orange Defense Network * Siberian Tiger Alliance * The International * United Purple Nations * Valhalla To those that are no longer in this world: we still remember you. :) * Eclipsis * Exodus * Federal Domestic Agency * Grand Global Alliance * Hydra * Illuminati * Imperial Assault Alliance * League of Extraordinary Nations * Maroon Defense Coalition * Nations Fighting Together * Nebula-X * Nuclear Fire * OTF Alliance * Quantum * Republic of Dark Knights * Rubber Ducky Division * Seaworthy Liberian Cardboard Boxes * SNAFU * The German Empire * The Order of Light * Virtuoso * War Making Tyrants The RIA currently maintains treaties with the following friends: * Ascended Republic of Elite Republics * Coalition of Royal Allied Powers * Delusions of Grandeur * Farkistan * Global Order of Darkness * Independent Republic of Orange Nations * New Polar Order * New Sith Order * R&R * Shangri-La * The Templar Knights * United Sovereign Nations The RIA has recognized the Green Protection Agency's neutrality since December 2006. The RIA remembers the following former friends who we drifted apart from: * Global Democratic Alliance * New Pacific Order * North Atlantic Defense Coalition * Overclockers UK * Sparta * The Democratic Order * Viridian Entente The RIA remembers the following friends who decided to make themselves a part of the RIA: * Celestial Being * PoTD Alliance * Sol The RIA remembers the following friends who are now only a part of the history of this world: * \m/ * 57th Overlanders * Aeon * Apocalypse * Armed Coalition of Valor * Arrow of Chiron * Asgaard * Atlantic Shadow Confederation * Atlantis * Auxiliary Army * Bel Air * Blatantly Awesome Coalition of Nations * Commonwealth of Sovereign Nations * Confederation of Organized Nations * Confederation Of Radical Elites * Cronus * Element * Elitist Global Superstructure * Fellowship of Unified Nations * Frontline Formation Coalition * Goa'uld Empire * Goon Order of Neutral Shoving * Gotham * Greenland Republic * Hegemony of Periphery States * HeroesOfGaming * Imperial Assault Alliance * Imperium Romanum * International Communist Party * International Protection Agency * International States of Solidarity and Freedom * Klingon Empire * Knights of the Imperial Cross * League of United Defense * LUEnited Nations * Maroon Revolutionaries Alliance * Monos Archein * Mushroom Kingdom * Nemesis * New Sakura Order * Norden Verein * Northern Treaty Organization * Novus Orbus * Nuclear Proliferation League * Order of Feudalistic Security * People's Front of Judea * Ragnarok * Rapture * Republic of Allied Defenses * Socialistic Empire * Silence * Soliders of Legion * Soliders of Liberty * SOS Brigade * Spootland Alliance of Allied Allies * Spootland-Phantom Alliance of Allied Allies * Team Allied Guardians Alliance * The Angelic Sanctuary * The Brain * The Corporation * The Eagle Nebula * The Four Horsemen * The Immortals * The Order of Halsa * The Order of Righteous Nations * The Other Side * The Phoenix Collective * The Realm * The Shadow Accord * The Shadow Confederacy * The Shadow Confederacy Empire * Through Yggdrasil's Roots * Union of Integrated National Entities The RIA remembers the following former ProtectoRItes that are now a part of history: * Alliance of Powerful Penguinz * Cat Land * Elite Guardians of Peace * Forte * Grand Central Agency * Indigo Defense Force * Maroon Confederacy of Allied Nations * O_o * Oblivion * People's Front of Judea * Relentless Resistance Alliance * RI Nation * The Four Horsemen * The Unitican Empire * The Unitican Federation * Troy * United Defense Contractors * United Pastafarian Alliance Coalition * Western Intelligence Inquisition * Zombieland Recommended reading: birthdays -1st Birthday: http://z15.invisionfree.com/Cyber_Nations/index.php?showtopic=78030 -2nd Birthday: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=29049 -3rd Birthday: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=64247 -4th Birthday: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=89597 -5th Birthday: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?/topic/103866-whats-this-you-mean-they-still-havent-been-locked-up-yet/ -6th Birthday: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?/topic/112374-random-insanity-rising/ -7th Birthday: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?/topic/117670-lucky-number-seven-year-of-the-llama/ random select interesting and/or controversial topics - RIA's first forum topic ever: http://z15.invisionfree.com/Cyber_Nations/index.php?showtopic=21571 - RIA-LUE NAP: http://z15.invisionfree.com/Cyber_Nations/index.php?showtopic=44600 - RIA DoW on MDC: http://z15.invisionfree.com/Cyber_Nations/index.php?showtopic=60142 - RIA hits 1 million NS!: http://z15.invisionfree.com/Cyber_Nations/index.php?showtopic=74889 - RIA joins GUARD: http://z15.invisionfree.com/Cyber_Nations/index.php?showtopic=78894 - RIA burritos GUARD: http://z15.invisionfree.com/Cyber_Nations/index.php?showtopic=82203 - Formation of SuperFriends: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=814 - PoTD merges into RIA: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=4970 - RIA-GOONS cancellation: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=13127 - SF DoW on Illuminati: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=15735 - Formation of SPAM: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=20949 - RIA-NPO treaty: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=26977 - Formation of Teen Titans: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=37421 - Formation of Chestnut & MEP: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=43558 - Formation of Bastion: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=48548 -SF - C&G Tea Party: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=59103 -RIA-TORN cancellation: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=54371 -On Order: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=53962 -NPO-RIA cancellation: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=63277 -SF Q&A: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?/topic/104209-open-invitation-from-the-superfriends/ -RIA DoW on IAA&SLCB: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?/topic/97433-you-wanted-us-to-come-at-you/ -RIA-VE cancellation: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?/topic/100741-ria-treaty-cancellation/ -RIA-NpO treaty: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?/topic/106786-winter-came-prematurely/ -SF dissolution: http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?/topic/117084-amicitiae-nostrae-memoriam-spero-sempiternam-fore/ Thanks to all who helped contribute to our history and to all who will continue doing so until the day we fade from this world. Forums: http://rialliance.net/ (Come visit & party with us) IRC: #RIA on Coldfront Wiki: http://cybernations.wikia.com/wiki/Random_Insanity_Alliance In-game: http://www.cybernations.net/alliance_display.asp?ID=10038 As part of the celebrations, I'm hosting a BioShock Infinite free raffle giveaway on our forums if anyone is interested in entering and trying for the chance to win it on steam. :) /s/ Random Insanity Alliance Shadow, Triumvir im317, Triumvir Hyperonic, Triumvir Ogaden, Head of Economics Biff Webster, Head of Foreign Affairs Croix, Head of Internal Affairs biofantic, Head of Military Operations GrilledSlug, Head of Recruitment Moth, Cactus Emeritus Shadow Slayer, Cactus Emeritus Thunder Strike, Cactus Emeritus atonichis775, Floridian Tribal Elder Jenne, Floridian Tribal Elder cctmsp13, Viceroy Arsenal 10, Officer Leo plays with Arse Aithne, HotDoG Beefmonger414 (Shadow Legolas), He Who Started It All - "RI, let us conquer LUE" Shyox, Founder llamavore, The Retired Former Love God dester55, Overlooked RIAer BaronOfBeef, RIAer Blooddraken, RIAer brian, RIAer Dostoevsky, RIAer Emperor abcd, RIAer Ender003, RIAer EuphyTheGreat, RIAer Fire Angel, RIAer Gangs20003, RIAer Grand Duke Zachary, RIAer hackerhog, RIAer Hijk143, RIAer Kerensky, RIAer King Srqt, RIAer lBrONSON, RIAer Leonardothered, RIAer Lord Kookus, RIAer LordShaiyan, RIAer Lupus, RIAer Mangoo, RIAer Mr Monday, RIAer Morriarty , RIAer Predrag Glavash, RIAer Princess Celly, RIAer Rainbro, RIAer Reoga, RIAer rodrod, RIAer SGMARTIN, RIAer Shin One, RIAer snkill, RIAer SoccerNation, RIAer Syamantak Sen, RIAer Sylis, RIAer TwoBills, RIAer Uchiha, RIAer umar420e, RIAer UndiscoveredBum, RIAer unknownjoker, RIAer walruskkkch, RIAer wolfbain, RIAer Zblewski, RIAer tl;dr It all started when our adventure-loving...adventurer, Cactuar, woke up in a magical pumpkin patch. It was the fifth time it had happened. Feeling scarcely exasperated, Cactuar attacked a ninja pumpkin, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved pie was missing! Immediately he called his so-called buddy, Funktuara. Cactuar had known Funktuara for (plus or minus) one million years, the majority of which were eccentric ones. Funktuara was unique. She was smart though sometimes a little... crazy. Cactuar called her anyway, for the situation was urgent. Funktuara picked up to a very glad Cactuar. Funktuara calmly assured him that most legless puppies grimace before mating, yet albino cats usually flamboyantly panic *after* mating. She had no idea what that meant; she was only concerned with distracting Cactuar. Why was Funktuara trying to distract Cactuar? Because she had snuck out from Cactuar's with the pie only six days prior. It was a exotic little pie... how could she resist? It didn't take long before Cactuar got back to the subject at hand: his pie. Funktuara sneezed. Reluctantly, Funktuara invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pie. Cactuar grabbed his hiptonicotamus and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Funktuara realized that she was in trouble. She had to find a place to hide the pie and she had to do it recklessly. She figured that if Cactuar took the giraffe, she had at least nine minutes before Cactuar would get there. But if he took the time machine? Then Funktuara would be excessively screwed. Before she could come up with any reasonable ideas, Funktuara was interrupted by eleven selsea kitten Kiwis that were lured by her pie. Funktuara turned red; 'Not again', she thought. Feeling stunned, she aggressively reached for her carrot and thoughtfully lunged towards every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrentthe discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the disease-infested jungle, squealing with discontent. She exhaled with relief. That's when she heard the time machine rolling up. It was Cactuar. As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Seven-Eleven to pick up a 12-pack of gerbils, so he knew he was running late. With a deft leap, Cactuar was out of the time machine and went wildly jaunting toward Funktuara's front door. Meanwhile inside, Funktuara was panicking. Not thinking, she tossed the pie into a box of dull pencils and then slid the box behind her hiptonicotamus. Funktuara was pleased but at least the pie was concealed. The doorbell rang. 'Come in,' Funktuara wildly purred. With a mighty push, Cactuar opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering self-righteous samurai in a illusioned out go kart,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Funktuara assured him. Cactuar took a seat excruciatingly close to where Funktuara had hidden the pie. Funktuara shuddered trying unsuccessfully to hide her nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' she blurted. But Cactuar was distracted. A few freaknasty minutes later, Funktuara noticed a funny-smelling look on Cactuar's face. Cactuar slowly opened his mouth to speak. '...What's that smell?' Funktuara felt a stabbing pain in her fingernail when Cactuar asked this. In a moment of disbelief, she realized that she had hidden the pie right by her oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A abrasive look started to form on Cactuar's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's ninja stars from when she used to have pet disease-carrying chipmunks. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Cactuar nodded with fake acknowledgment...then, before Funktuara could react, Cactuar skillfully lunged toward the box and opened it. The pie was plainly in view. Cactuar stared at Funktuara for what what must've been eleven nanoseconds. In a blinding moment of misguided bravado, Funktuara groped charismatically in Cactuar's direction, clearly desperate. Cactuar grabbed the pie and bolted for the door. It was locked. Funktuara let out a enticing chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Cactuar,' she rebuked. Funktuara always had been a little clueless, so Cactuar knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Funktuara did something crazy, like... start chucking bananas at him or something. Suddenly inspired by the wise teachings of Confuscious, he gripped his pie tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels. Funktuara looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Cactuar. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame four days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly she felt a tinge of concern for Cactuar. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Funktuara walked over to the window and looked down. Cactuar was gone. Just yonder, Cactuar was struggling to make his way through the foxy forest behind Funktuara's place. Cactuar had severely hurt his ear during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Kiwis suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pie. One by one they latched on to Cactuar. Already weakened from his injury, Cactuar yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Kiwis running off with his pie. But then the Almighty, the All Powerful, the Great One, RIctuar came down from above with His ten thousand needles and restored Cactuar's pie. Feeling exasperated, RIctuar smote the Kiwis for their injustice. Then He got in His gerbil rocket and jettisoned away with the fortitude of 200,000 hissing sloths running from a shrunken pack of man-eating capybaras. Cactuar tripped with joy when he saw this. His pie was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in four minutes his favorite TV show, 'What's new in the RIA?' , was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When man-eating capybaras meet 3-legged wallabies'). Cactuar was pleased. And so, everyone except the samurai and a few bloody glove-toting hissing sloths lived blissfully happy, forever after. tl;dr of the tl;dr In the world Cupcakery, there lived a smattering of ingredients in an encampment known as the Cupboard. It was a dark and despairing place. As drab as it was, the ingredients referred to it as their homeafter all, what else did they have? The encampment was run by the Brownies. The Brownies did not let anyone burritosunless, that is, the ingredient was Chosen. Every month or so, an ingredient would be Chosen by the Brownies leader, Cocoa, to burritos and become one with the Cakea glorious place where the ingredients believed they would find eternal bliss. Whenever the Brownies announced that they had selected another ingredient to burritos, every member of the Cupboard hoped that this time, the Brownies would choose them. Life in the Cupboard had always been like this. Everyone did what they could to help the other ingredients get by, and although they hated being in the Cupboard, it became bearable. Cupboard life was routine. Nothing ever upset the balance of their world, or caused anyone great distress. One ingredient, by the name of Vanilla, was the favorite of the ingredients. Many ingredients wondered why he had not been Chosen by the browniesthey figured that if anyone had earned it, he had. Vanilla eventually became leader of the Cupboard, and worked to create a much more bearable life for all. After many years, the day came when Vanilla was Chosen by the Brownies to become One with the Cake. Many were heartbroken to see him burritos, but no one questioned his worth. The Brownies escorted him out of the Cupboard, and the gate was firmly shut behind them. After burritos the Cupboard, Vanilla was brought to a group of other ingredients. He had never seen any of them before, which led him to suspect they had come from other encampments. They all looked excited to have been selected to become Chosen. The group was lead to a building, and each ingredient was placed in a room, and told that they had to wait in their rooms until called to become One with the Cake. As Vanilla patiently waited for his turn to come, he heard a whisper from his window. Curious, he glanced overand saw Sprinkles, an Ingredient that had been Chosen when he was still young. Vanilla leaned over the windowsill, shocked. "Why are you here? How are you not One with the Cake?" Vanilla asked. Sprinkles shushed him, and motioned for him to quickly climb through the window and join him outside the building. Puzzled, Vanilla obliged. Sprinkles then led Vanilla to a corner of the encampment, and explained to Vanilla what the Brownies were really doing. Pastrycide, he said, was the process of taking parts from all the so called Chosen and combining them to form new Brownies. A millennia ago, the Brownies had been peaceful and coexisted with the ingredients, but were a desperate and dying race. Then, Cocoa had risen up to become their leader. They began to hunt ingredients for food, and make more Brownies. When almost all the Ingredients had been hunted to near extinction and the Brownies much more numerous, Cocoa had decided that the only way to successfully continue as a race would be to farm these ingredients by creating camps. They all agreed this was necessary, and set up the camps. The lie about Cake was born. When you were Chosen, they really were going to tear you apart and simply make more Brownies, Sprinkles revealed. Vanilla was shocked. His entire life, everything he had believed about the Cake was a lie. He saw Pastrycide for what it truly was nowsomething sinister and evil. He swore to himself that he would stop it, at any cost. It was his duty, as the leader of his people. "With your strength and my knowledge, we can break into the Cupboard and unite the other ingredients in an uprising against the Brownies," Sprinkles said."To do so though, we will need the Key to the encampment, held by Cocoa." Sprinkles and Vanilla traveled to Cocoa's castle, and camped outside the walls. "I am much too old to climb these walls," Sprinkles told Vanilla. "You must do it yourself." Vanilla leapt up, and scaled the walls, entering the castle through a window. Soon he found the chest that held the Key to the encampmentsVanilla took it, and quickly returned to the window he had entered from. Cream Cheese Frosting was waiting for him though. She was beautiful, chosen by Cocoa to be his queen long ago Seeing Vanilla with the Key, she asked him "Why not stay with me here? Together we can overthrow Cocoa and take command of the Brownies. We can rule Cupcakery!" Although Cream Cheese Frosting was beautiful, Vanilla knew that beneath her physical looks, she was as sinister as Cocoa. He could not trust her. Without looking at or answering her, Vanilla dove through the window, and rushed off with Sprinkles. Together, Vanilla and Sprinkles used the Key to sneak back into the Cupboard. There, they gathered all the ingredients. The members of the Cupboard were stunned; here were two of the Chosen, who were supposed to be One with the Cake. Why were they now standing in front of them? Then Vanilla and Sprinkles told them about Pastrycide. The ingredients were skeptical at first, but then they saw it as truth. They were enraged, and decided to take action. They rose up as a group and charged the Brownies, led by Vanilla. After a long fight, more and more camps were rescued from the Brownies' hold. The Brownies were enraged, and began to push the ingredients back. Vanilla and Sprinkles found Cocoa leading the charge, and singled him out in combat. During the fighting, he struck Sprinkles downseeing this, Vanilla attacked back with renewed vigor, and vanquished Cocoa. Seeing their leader fall, the Brownies began to fall back, and flee. After many days of hard fighting, the ingredients won their freedom, albeit at great cost. There was much rejoicing, but then they askednow what? They had been given the boons of truth and freedom. What was next? They looked to Vanilla, who said - Now, we build the New World. tl;dr of tl;dr of tl;dr