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Found 7 results

  1. Last night I couldn't sleep so I decided to read the Cyber Nations Wiki for fun, you know, as a person does, right @Woryand? Looking over the alliances I like while admiring their contributions to the planet as a whole, I realized something shocking. I was flabbergasted! I was discombobulated! Cobra and my good friends over at FARK were not officially even acquainted. How would the denizens of Bob know how much we *insert heart emoji here* them if we didn’t announce it in a public forum??! The answer is, they would not! They would have no idea! Everyone will go to sleep and not be thinking about the inspiring friendship between Cobra and Fark! Well, I couldn’t have that so I just rushed to my computer and started typing this treaty. Then I thought to myself, wow, it is 2020 and everyone knows how this works, no noobs exist in CN anymore, just rerolls. So you know the treaty that says, Optional Defense and Aggression Pact? That is what this is! You are looking at another one! Yeah, this is a treaty announcement, I know you are all super excited to see Cobra and Fark making their friendship official. This is Cobra so here is a meme: This is also Boognish so here is a song: Fark and Cobra Go to a Bar Together This is Fark so here is a beer that I can’t legally drink yet: Signed for FARK: one_eighty_two - Submitter 905 - Squirrel Totalfark Council - Arcane, Decide R Inchief, Boz, Slick Johnson Signed for Cobra: Johnny Apocalypse - King Cobra General Tiki, General Kanabis, Lyanna - Royal Guard tldr: CN Treaty: Cobra and FARK now have an official Optional Defense and Aggression Pact
  2. Limitless Nexus & the Libertarian Party of Cybernations considers the war with the rogue GOONS a total victory, with them all gone from the AA among those who haven't deleted or faded into inactivity mode. We fought many months to grind down their warchests, but now not a single former rogue GOONS members resides on the AA & we have taken it over. On 10/7/2015, I declared on the rogue GOONS as soon as I got out of anarchy from a previous war, seeing as RUKUNU was already under attack. My last war with Bear Retrieval Unit, who had the biggest warchest among them, ended 2/8/2016. His final wars ended 2/10/2016. Which marks our victory, although because of other matters coming up we haven't announced until now. Special Awards for Participants in the GOONS Purge! Panzer Anarch Ribbon - Awarded to those who rose up to the challenge and fought GOONS directly, despite the hassles of fighting ultra low NS nations who have huge cash reserves. Recipients include, Sigrun Vapneir RUKUNU Panther Strike Sir Kindle Nicholai Kaznawim Rothaic James P Sullivan ericw123 kingneptune CMW2212 Bionic Redhead Skytale Lord Hitchcock RUKUNU The Rebel The Matrix Emperor Montezuma gravyboat Kawrence Lord of Puns sonadow32 hombre sabio jonesing Ballsnot BladezOFfuryX21 & everyone who fought GOONS between 9/25/2015 & 2/5/2016 Limitless Anarch Ribbon - Awarded to everyone who helped us defeat GOONS financially or through other means which might not include combat; making them very helpful in bringing the conflict to a close finally & allowing us to fight as along as needed to secure victory. Recipients include, Doornail Blackorchild Tapley Stoopid Ace Thorgrum Tidy Bowl Man Francis Marion Nicholi Fadeev KenoCore murtibing owljan Arakus Contretemps Mad Mike Defender President Hardin Unknown Smurf Alexio15 & all Panzer Anarch Ribbon Recipients. Everyone has power to shake up the political world, they just need to find something worthwhile fighting for. o/ Libertarian Party of Cybernations o/ Revolution o/ Victory I also pass on the Black Crown, given to me as a gift from Trace of the Mushroom Kingdom when I first became a King, onto sonadow32. The new leader of the Goon Order of Neutral Shoving Alliance Affiliation. GOONS have long been a enemy of mine under the Sadism variation & then the rogue faction made up of former Sadism members who were occupying the original GOONS AA for the Goon Order of Oppression, Negligence & Sadism when they announced their disbanding. If GOONS do come back to life, its my wish they come back as a good alliance. Under Sonadow32's leadership, I know they would be. So for former GOONS who didn't like the sadism & want to be part of good alliance who flies the original flag of GOONS; feel free to join him. Although whether he just holds down the AA to prevent evil from using the AA or he builds it up into something good; I'll support his decision and consider him an ally regardless of what AA he is on. o/ Pharaoh Sonadow32, Sovereign of the Goon Order of Neutral Shoving
  3. If there's one things Farkers know, it's how to make high-quality, intoxicating beverages. Traditional Farkistani mixes are often complicated, requiring many bottles of liquor and beer mixed with bizarre ingredients (zebra milk). After a heated debate, it was decided that we should share the TotalFarkers Choice Recipe List, in an effort to help Bob understand us better get drunk. Drink #1 - The NSFW - Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Smontag Ingredients: 1 oz. cheap vodka, 1 oz. good vodka, 1/2 oz. rum, 1/2 oz whiskey, 1 oz. flat 7-up, 3 oz. Warm Stale Beer, Last 2 frost-covered ice cubes from icebox History/Mixing: Also known as the "Crap I forgot to buy booze, let's see what's left in all these bottles." This ancient recipe is instinctively known to all true Farkers and has been handed down for generations. Mix all the ingredients together in a plastic cup or dirty beer mug. Sip gingerly and gag before exclaiming "Fark it!" and swallowing the whole mess in one gulp. Drink #2 - The Decide R Inchief Ingredients: Vinegar, Water History/Mixing: The perfect drink to order for that !@#$% at the end of the bar. Mix ingredients in a tube, insert into your mouth, and swish. Leaves you feeling fresh and clean-smelling, like a summer's eve. Drink #3 - The BozDaBoz Ingredients: 1 scoop vanilla ice cream, 3 oz. bourbon, 1 oz. amaretto, 6 oz. coca-cola, 1 maraschino cherry History/Mixing: Relaxing on a quiet Sunday evening? Why do it sober?? Put the ice-cream scoop and coke into a large mug, add in the bourbon and amaretto. Garnish with the cherry. This sweet, sweet ice cream treat was invented by a caring Farkistani mother who needed a way to make sure her kids were getting enough bourbon. (Bourbon makes you grow up big and strong!) Drink #4 - The 182 Ingredients: 2 oz. whiskey, 2 oz. goldschlager, 4 oz. Imitation GOON blood, 8 oz. black coffee History/Mixing: This was the favored morning wake-up drink for the Farkistani military during the Holy War. Invented by 182, this drink combines the sweet tastes of home with the bitter, dirty, sewage-smelling imitation Goonblood to wake Farkers up, as well as remind them why they fight. Drink #5 - The Bionic Redhead Ingredients: 36 oz. cold beer, 36 oz. cold beer, 36 oz. cold beer, 1 Liter of Tequila, 1 pair leopard-print panties, 6 extra strength tylenol History/Mixing: Drink the cold beers one at a time, within the span of 2 hours. Start drinking tequila. Wake up with leopard print panties on your floor. Eat the tylenol and go back to sleep. Many Farkers can regale you with stories of performing this ritual. The drink gets its name from the rumors that, while inebriated, Bionic Redhead visits you and leaves his panties behind as a reminder of the viscious sodomy you received. Drink #6 - Submitter 905's hangover to hell express Ingredients: 1 bottle Pepto-bismol, 2 alka seltzer, 1 oz. Gold Tequila, 4 oz. flat beer History/Mixing: A legendary mixmaster dreamed up this abhorrent mixture after suffering from a hangover for 6 weeks straight. One of the more famous Farkistani beverages, this preparation has even made a movie cameo! Mix the beer and pepto in a tall plastic cup. Drop in the alka seltzer and immediately afterwards, drop in the shot of Tequila. Chug as fast as you can. 3oz of insubordination may be substituted for beer if Cable is in office. Drink #7 - one_eighty_two's the Squirrel Ingredients: 3 oz. 12-year-old scotch, 1 oz. Mr Vicarious' Pecan Schnapps, 1/4 oz. Stoli Brand RageQuit hotsauce History/Mixing: The main ingredients of this dish remind foreigners that Farkers 1. Drink, 2. Can be sweet and friendly, and 3. Will burn your ass if you screw with us. Stir the scotch and schnapps together in a small glass with ice. Stick your finger in the hotsauce. Take small sips of the scotch-schnapps mixture, then rub the hotsauce in your eyes. Drinks Index: TF Council: Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Our Blessed Saint of Booze, Smontag - Speaker of the Council Decide R Inchief BozDaBoz one_eighty_two Bionic Redhead Subby: 905 Squirrel: one_eighty_two
  4. So, I know our Erection announcementa have been pretty flaccid lately, but we got a great deal on some totally legitimate medication from Canada. Without further ado, here's our new-ish gov for April, 2015 Submitter (Diet Coke of Evil) - 905 Squirrel (Caffeine-Free Diet Coke of Evil)- still Critters Speaker of the Council, Drunken Majority leader Totalfark Council (or, That bunch of crazy kids in the Beer Garden)
  5. From: 905@ultrafark****.org Sent: ‎Saturday‎, ‎August‎ ‎16‎, ‎2014 ‎1‎:‎19‎ ‎PM To: Tom@ultrafark****.org Thanks, Tom, for your insightful input. I'll definitely keep the Farkistan/NATO clauses that I bolded in the final treaty though and you can go on a one-way, all expenses-paid trip to the place where the fella with the pointed stick and horns conducts his daily affairs! Regards, -905 Head Programmer/Submitter/Cheese Aficionado ----------------------- From: Tom@ultrafark****.org Sent: ‎Saturday‎, ‎August‎ ‎16‎, ‎2014 ‎1‎:‎19‎ ‎PM To: 905@ultrafark****.org To the Idiot 905, Master of Complete Stupidity: You appear to be advocating a new functional, stack-based, "multi-paradigm", eager, statically-typed, impure, non-hygienic, visual, beginner-friendly and completely incomprehensible treaty programming language. Your treaty language will not work. Here is why it will not work. You appear to believe that that syntax is what makes treaty programming difficult, that garbage collection is free, that nobody really needs I/O, that scaling up to large software projects will be easy, that convincing programmers to adopt a language-specific IDE will be easy, that programmers love writing lots of boilerplate, that specifying behaviors as "undefined" means that programmers won't rely on them and that "Spooky action at a distance" makes programming more fun. Unfortunately, your language has comprehensible syntax, lacks semicolons, has macros, lacks type inference, has goto, has coroutines, has operator overloading, lacks algebraic datatypes, lacks polymorphic types, lacks monads, lacks nested comments, has call-by-reference and has call-cc. The following philosophical objections apply: * Farkistan and NATO agree to share info, intel and aid with each other. * Farkistan and NATO agree to not shoot at each other, but in case an accidental mishap occurs, both parties agree to resolve the incident peacefully as quickly as possible via fair reps (150% of damages) and an exchange of an appropriate amount of bacon, beer and drink recipes. * Interpreted languages will never be as fast as C * Compiled languages will never be "extensible" * Should either Farkistan or NATO get attacked, the other is welcome and encouraged to defend should they choose to. * Should either Farkistan or NATO decide to start some mischief by attacking another AA, the other is also welcome to join in the fun if they so choose. * At no time is either Farkistan or NATO forced to chain in on this treaty, but they are certainly welcome to join the other in battle should they both choose to. * There are less than 100 programmers on Bob smart enough to use your treaty language. Your implementation has the following flaws: * CPUs do not work that way * RAM does not work that way * VMs do not work that way * Should Farkistan or NATO decide to dissolve this treaty, a 72-hour notification period is required. * You require the compiler to be present at runtime * You require the language runtime to be present at compile-time * Your compiler errors are completely inscrutable * Dangerous behavior is only a warning * You don't seem to understand basic optimization techniques * You don't seem to understand basic systems programming * You don't seem to understand pointers * You don't seem to understand functions. Additionally, your marketing has the following problems: * Obviously rigged benchmarks Graphics, simulation, or crypto benchmarks where your code just calls handwritten assembly through your FFI and String-processing benchmarks where you just call PCRE * Noone really believes that your language is faster than assembly, C nor FORTRAN * Rejection of basic computer science without justification. Taking the wider ecosystem into account, I would like to note that we already have a safe statically-typed eager functional language, you have reinvented Java but worse, you have reinvented PHP but worse and you have reinvented Brainfark but non-ironically. In conclusion, I think you have some interesting ideas, but this won't fly and this is a bad language, and you should feel bad for inventing it. DIAF, moran -Tom ***** Farkistan Treaty Programmer, III --- Signed for Farkistan: 905 - Submitter Mr Vicarious - Squirrel Rollo Gigante - Speaker of theTotalfark Council One_Eighty_Two - Totalfark Council Slick Johnson - Totalfark Council CountryMouse - Totalfark Council Decide R Inchief - Totalfark Council Signed for NATO: Tsayka, Secretary General Berbers, Secretary of Foreign Affairs Jekalle, Secretary of Defense Landon Esser, Secretary of Commerce Lonabis, Secretary of Enlistment Tallon, Chief Justice
  6. [center] [b][size=6]An [s]Official Announcement[/s] Silly Thing from Farkistan[/size][/b][size=4]'s Dept of IA[/size] [img]http://i.imgur.com/nmt8hZg.jpg[/img] Although I would very much like to pronounce an enlightened and just judgment upon this war, there are several obstacles that make it difficult to operate on today's real"not tomorrow's ideal"political terrain. I will briefly adumbrate these obstacles and then refer to them occasionally throughout the body of this letter. Before I launch into my main topic, I want to make a few matters crystal-clear: (1) This war goes ga-ga for any type of expansionism you can think of, and (2) as a result of that, a day of reckoning is coming, and this war will be called to account. Now that you know where I stand on those issues, I can safely say that when uttered by this war, the word "global", as in "global spread of racialism", implies, "It's not our fault". In reality, we'd certainly have a lot less racialism if it would just stop selling us fibs and fear mixed with a generous dollop of faddism. Many people are shocked when I tell them that I have no idea why this war wannabees have sprouted across the country like mushrooms after a downpour. And I'm shocked that so many people are shocked. You see, I had thought everybody already knew that this war claims to be fighting for equality. What it's really fighting for, however, is equality in degradation, by which I mean that this war likes to talk about how truth is merely a social construct. The words sound pretty until you read between the lines and see that this war is secretly saying that it intends to pursue a twofold credo of ultracrepidarianism and colonialism. Relative to just a few years ago, fractious nincompoops are nearly ten times as likely to believe that "the norm" shouldn't have to worry about how the exceptions feel. This is neither a coincidence nor simply a sign of the times. Rather, it reflects a sophisticated, psychological warfare program designed by this war to support those for whom hatred has become a way of life. Contrary to what this war would have you believe, it sees itself as a postmodern equivalent of Marx's proletariat, revolutionizing the world by wresting it from its oppressors (viz., those who transcend traditional thinking). Although the historical battle between good and evil is exemplified in the philosophical division between Platonic order and Aristotelian chaos, this war has allowed itself to become a spokesman for the same point of view shared by ill-natured lunatics, insensate mumpsimuses, and spiteful knaves while masquerading as an outspoken radical bucking the system. I unmistakably doubt we could beat this into this war's head, but this war is out to feature simplistic answers to complex problems. And when we play its game, we become accomplices. My dream is for tired eyes to open and see clearly, broken spirits to find new energy, and weary arms to find the strength to review the basic issues at the root of the debate. I would like to close by saying that this war gives new meaning to the word "balmy". I clearly hope Umbrella gives this letter five minutes of its precious cappuccino-sipping, cancer-stick-puffing time. Let's start with my claim that Umbrella's unctuous magic-bullet explanations are a conspicuous landmark in the realm of incendiarism. I'll say that again because I want it to sink in: I recommend that we improve the lot of humankind. Umbrella may have modernized the appeal and packaging of its proposals, but horny proposals are horny proposals regardless of how they're presented. I challenge all of the empty-headed blatherskites out there to consider this: In a rather infamous speech, Umbrella exclaimed that our country's security, prestige, and financial interests are best served by war and the ever-present threat of war. (I edited out the rest of what it said because, well, it didn't really say anything.) Doesn't it strike you as odd that Umbrella stands to profit from focusing too much on one side of the equation and not enough on the broader perspective of things? As this letter draws to a close, I want to challenge you, the reader, to educate the public on a range of issues. That's what I intend to do until my last breath. For the sake of review, Mr. Capraphile generally tries to keep his distance from the worthless, balmy spielers who rifle, pillage, plunder, and loot. However, he sees nothing wrong with selling us fibs and fear mixed with a generous dollop of negativism. Ah the sweet, sweet smell of hypocrisy. Everything I've said so far is by way of introduction to the key point I want to make in this letter. My key point is that he frequently accuses his enemies of laying down diktats that force me to abandon all hope. This is yet another example of the growing lack of civility in our civil discourse that ranges from the scornful to the ethically bankrupt and even unconscionable. In a more proper debate, one would instead politely point out that I shall do my utmost to explain a few facets of this confusing world around us. I'm not saying that facetiously; as people who know me decidedly realize, I always mean what I say and say what I mean. They also realize that Mr. Capraphile has gotten away with so much for so long that he's lost all sense of caution, all sense of limits. If you think about it, only a man without any sense of limits could desire to make me the target of a constant, consistent, systematic, sustained campaign of attacks. In closing, we must work together to spread awareness of the apolaustic nature of Mr. Admin Capraphile's undertakings. Together, we can make a difference. Forever and always. Goats's lack of ethics has become so flagrant that it merits your complete attention. The issue here is that I like to speak of goats as "puerile". That's a reasonable term to use, I insist, but let's now try to understand it a little better. For starters, many of us are too na&iuml;ve and trusting. It takes a lot of convincing to get us to see an organization as inherently simple-minded or inherently small-minded. Alas, goats is doing all it can to provide us with unmistakable proof that it is inherently both. For instance, goats alleges that its credos are Holy Writ. Naturally, this is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Let me end this letter by telling goats that I fully intend to make technical preparations for the achievement of freedom and human independence. This action is lawful. This action is moral. And this action is right. First, the misinformation: Smontag suggests that he could do a gentler and fairer job of running the world than anyone else. Where the heck did he come up with that? The key to answering such questions is to realize that for Smontag, all roads lead to solipsism. An understanding of the damage that may be caused by Smontag's boisterous, chthonic roorbacks isn't something I expect everyone to develop the first time they hear about it. That's why I write over and over again and from so many different angles about how griping about Smontag will not make him stop trying to repeat the mistakes of the past. But even if it did, he would just find some other way to address what is, in the end, a nonexistent problem. By now, the reader has discerned that "tolerance" means tolerance of all, not only of a select few. So let me just add that just as night follows day, he will advertise "magical" diets and bogus weight-loss pills eventually. Smontag's "I'm right and you're wrong" attitude is gormless because it leaves no room for compromise. While Smontag manufactures crises over cronyism, his claque has been ripping apart causes that others feel strongly about. To say that we're supposed to shut up and smile when he says irritating things is sappy nonsense and untrue to boot. While I don't know Smontag's secret plans, I do know that there are few certainties in life. I have counted only three: death, taxes, and Smontag doing some subhuman thing every few weeks. Who is behind the decline of our civilization? The culprit responsible is not the Illuminati, not the Insiders, not the Humanists, not even the Communists. No, the decline of our civilization is attributable primarily to Smontag. In closing, it hardly need be said that the views expressed above are tentative and suggestive. You should now go off and perform a thorough study of your own. Of course, this will be an exercise in futility unless you accept the fundamental premise of this letter, namely that Mr. Smontag's grievances, which are constructions of dubious stability in their own right, are built on highly questionable foundations. The only thing worse than being ignorant is not knowing how ignorant you are. That's the ballet mafia's problem. I want to share this with you because I must admit that I've read only a small fraction of the ballet mafia's writings. (As a well-known aphorism states, it is not necessary to eat all of an apple to learn that it is rotten.) Nevertheless, I've read enough of the ballet mafia's writings to know that I would like to believe that the ballet mafia acts with our interests in mind. I really would. But the ballet mafia sure makes it difficult to believe such things. For instance, it has nothing but contempt for you, and you don't even know it. That's why I feel obligated to inform you that it is easy to see faults in others. But it takes perseverance to knock some sense into it. All in all, I realize that this letter has seemed incredibly bleak. However, expecting the worst from the ballet mafia means we will never be disappointed. If we're wrong and the ballet mafia does not try to cement the foundation of our currently metastasizing police state into the law of the land, we'll be relieved. If we're right and it does, we'll be prepared. In conclusion: [img]http://i.imgur.com/jGtApQR.jpg[/img][/center]
  7. Because life on Bob has been sucking more than usual the last few [s]days[/s] [s]weeks[/s] [s]months[/s] years, it looks like worldwide activity is down. WAY down. Admin's increasingly desperate pleas to find new nations have mostly fallen on deaf ears. Even Fark has been having activity problems, as evidenced by the shameful lack of candidates in this month's council erection. We needed to do some recruiting and we needed to do it fast. We, however, are much more proactive than Admin in our approach to recruiting. Much like Admin's pleas are often ignored with a swift click of the "dismiss" button, our own ads were quickly flagged and removed. We've screenshotted them for posterity. [URL=http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/aa3/BleakOutlook/CLad1.jpg]Little Rock[/URL] [URL=http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/aa3/BleakOutlook/CLad2.jpg]Houston[/URL] [URL=http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/aa3/BleakOutlook/CLad3.jpg]New York[/URL] [URL=http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/aa3/BleakOutlook/CLad4.jpg]Philadelphia[/URL] [URL=http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/aa3/BleakOutlook/CLad5.jpg]Los Angeles[/URL] The responses we received were mostly [url=http://www.spampepper.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/spam5.jpg]spam[/url], [url=http://www.truckspills.com/beer_spill_1.jpg]obscene pictures[/url], and a lot of "[url=http://assets4.bigthink.com/system/idea_thumbnails/43540/original/Tyson.jpg?1333855920]are you serious[/url]" letters. Believe it or not, we managed to get some of these[url=http://www.farkistan.org/] haggard internet perverts[/url] to join [url=http://www.cn.ca/en/index.htm]CN[/url] and run in this month's erections! Anyway, the newcomers all lost to these people: Cable77 - Speaker of the Council [quote][b]Why Are You Interested in this Position?[/b] As you know, finding full time employment is very difficult right now. I have applied to over 200 positions within the last 2 years. [b]Can You Tell Us More about Your Experience?[/b] You have had two weeks to review my resume yet you still want to know about my experience. This is so typical of Human Resources. [b]Why Should We Hire You?[/b] If you don’t hire me, it would prove that your management is incompetent. [b]Describe Your Ideal Job?[/b] I’ll tell you what I don’t want to be doing - sitting in boring meetings, doing grunt work and having to be nice to people all day long. [b]What Are Your Weaknesses?[/b] I get angry easily and I went to jail for it but I won’t get mad at you. [b]What Motivates You?[/b] Salary is very important, my gambling debts are rising. [b]Why Did You Leave Your Previous Employment?[/b] My boss was stupid and would always argue with me about how to do my job. [b]Do You Have Any Questions about the Job?[/b] When you run background checks on candidates, do arrests come up? [/quote] CountryMouse [quote][b]Why Are You Interested in this Position?[/b] Boredom. [b]Can You Tell Us More about Your Experience?[/b] I've never been in a cult before, but hear that leadership is like being a god or something. I want to be a god. [b]Why Should We Hire You?[/b] Because I took down all the ads so you would have to. [b]Describe Your Ideal Job?[/b] Skulking around a computer in the dark reading wikipedia and miscellany. [b]What Are Your Weaknesses?[/b] I won't do what you want me to; just want I feel like. [b]What Motivates You?[/b] Boredom. [b]Why Did You Leave Your Previous Employment?[/b] They made me do things. Outside. With people. It was inhumane. [b]Do You Have Any Questions about the Job?[/b] Are there any new job postings? [/quote] 182 [quote] [b]Why Are You Interested in this Position?[/b] It's been my lifelong dream to become a [s]Wal Mart employee[/s] Farkistan .gov member! [b]Can You Tell Us More about Your Experience?[/b] No. [b]Why Should We Hire You?[/b] I have guts, drive, ambition and heart, which is probably more than a lot of the drones that you have working for you. [b]Describe Your Ideal Job?[/b] Open bar, work 1:30-3:00pm Tuesday, Wednesday and alternating Thursdays. [b]What Are Your Weaknesses?[/b] It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care. [b]What Motivates You?[/b] My only real motivation is not to be hassled, that and the fear of losing my job. But you know, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired. [b]Why Did You Leave Your Previous Employment?[/b] They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. I couldn't work under those demanding conditions. [b]Do You Have Any Questions about the Job?[/b] What if I woke up in the [s]morning[/s] afternoon and didn’t feel like coming to work? [/quote] Mr. Cynical [quote] [b]Why Are You Interested in this Position?[/b] It seems to me like a fun way to explore being a loser. [b]Can You Tell Us More about Your Experience?[/b] This one time, at band camp, I butt-chugged a liter of cola. [b]Why Should We Hire You?[/b] The only payment I require are boob gif's. [b]Describe Your Ideal Job?[/b] I would rule with an iron fist, wrapped in a velvet glove, wrapped in Barb Wire. Yes, Pamela Anderson. [b]What Are Your Weaknesses?[/b] I have a crippling fear of horses, spiders and heights. And also getting Admin's mom pregnant. [b]What Motivates You?[/b] I am told that I get to enact the right of Primae Noctis on new nations. [b]Why Did You Leave Your Previous Employment?[/b] There was a problem with a pot of coffee, a time machine, and a faulty prophylactic. [b]Do You Have Any Questions about the Job?[/b] Do I have to fill out any TPS reports? [/quote] Randomly Jim [quote] [b]Why Are You Interested in this Position?[/b] Its just a simple fact that after you get elected into high gov for a dying browser-based war game hiding behind a long broken, meta-political game that you get invited into this amazing sausage fest of a skype channel where you can hear the same 25 male asmatics make fun of each other in the hopes of winning the favor of the few women lonely enough to bury themselves in this social circle cum circle jerk. Naturally, after getting in, I will be named thier king and will finally be able to win over their queen. [b]Can You Tell Us More about Your Experience?[/b] I just ate a cheese sandwich and I've seen every Adam Sandler film. Obviously, I'm ready. [b]Why Should We Hire You?[/b] Who else is applying at this point? [b]Describe Your Ideal Job?[/b] Unemployed welfare recipient with government provided internet access. [b]What Are Your Weaknesses?[/b] I may or may not have a fetish for wearing women's undergarments that may or may not belong to my mother. [b]What Motivates You?[/b] Tears. [b]Why Did You Leave Your Previous Employment?[/b] Tears. [b]Do You Have Any Questions about the Job?[/b] When does it end? [/quote]
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