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Found 13 results

  1. A Missive from A Brief History Walsh the Beloved had a dream. It was a dream deeply steeped in the planet Bob dream. On the 1st of July he made that dream known. Mr. Walsh fought his terrible wars and pulled a Max, until finally, his dream Kafkad into an Ursula K. Le Guin Novel. It Great Gatsbied into a Xanth. Redarmy brought the Asses a unique perspective on Red. From Xanth, there came another Dre4mwe4ver. Dre4m got his own war. Too bad Smurthwaite screwed it up for him. Jraison ditched the guys to whom we owe one and brought a sense of Fall Out Boy. Eviljak was the ever present. Over the course of our time here, we made some friends and we stepped on some fungus, stepped on some bugs, and even got our shoes dirty with this steaming pile of monkey excrement. Damned if we haven't had some fun. The Point With the demise of Walsh the Beloved, "Executive Officer Xanth was installed as Red Ass Commander on an interim basis by Walsh the Beloved, who requested that Xanth forge a new alliance with its own theme and identity. Consequently, on August 5, 2015, the Screaming Red Asses announced their end of existence in an announcement that also declared the rebranding of it as Xanth's new alliance, Stripes." Under Xanth's rule, Jraison, Smurthwaite, Redarmy, Nymph, Eviljak, and JusttrentJohnson ran Stripes into the ground. So, we have decided to say, "It's time to call it quits." Effective immediately, Stripes disbands. This is the opposite of the Band of Brothers, as we may be few but we are not brave. The Alliances Names of Stripes and The Screaming Red Asses are now and forever protected by Wench Lovers and Badasses. Raiders will be nuked. So long suckas, diablo1882001 willww1 Dre4mwe4ver CheeseIceCream Captain Kenway Smurthwaite jraison ChairmanHal Skaullin shakespeare Tasker74 Redarmy justtrentjohnson Xanth asmodeusknight Potato Chip (Walsh The Beloved) Obligatory Gowfanatic is our hero. Heros suck. The End We just torched the roof. The roof - The roof - The roof is on Fire!
  2. Limitless Nexus Recognition of War Kashmir attacked Monsters Inc, who came to our defense against unprovoked aggression from SRA; who declared in support of an aggressive war by III% & Lady Dakota's Sanction Abuse. SRA refused to have the nation attacking me peace out for the duration of the war and 2 SRA members (One of them Gov) went to another AA during this to attack our lower tier from; but they were back in SRA as Gov before the Dreamweaver War had even expired. Their aggression against us and continued escalation was obvious, so we hit them back and some of our allies came to our assistance. Kashmir declared on Monsters Inc in support of SRA's aggression towards us. Here are the kind of terms Kashmir is keeping Monsters Inc at war with, so Smurthwaite can try using them as leverage against us; with impossible terms. Smurthwaite's terms to Monsters Inc for peace, despite them having no control over my wonders, So, I will say this. If these talks move beyond the parties involved at this point. Methrage will not get out of war without decommissioning the following wonders, which means he will be holding up the whole process: Foreign Air Force Base Hidden Nuclear Missile Silo Manhattan Project Pentagon Superior Logistical Support Weapons Research Complex So, as Walsh has stated, he wants to negotiate with the entire coalition. Here is what I know. Methrage has a history of declaring wars on nations who cannot fight back, because he has an overwhelming advantage due to his wonders. Therefore, if your coalition wants to end this war, those are the terms. Methrage must delete his offensive war wonders. SRA & Kashmir are keeping Mi at perpetual war over impossible terms. Then 10:09am today, a Kashmir nation declared on a Limitless Nexus nation directly for the War Reason: your nation will fall. Therefore we recognize a formal state of war with Kashmir and will fight off our invaders; even if they are jumping in to attack us after we've been fighting various alliances for over a month now. Signed, Methrage, Sovereign of Limitless Nexus
  3. As many of you know, Red Ass Commander Walsh the Beloved has left this world, likely to never return. He was proud to run the Screaming Red Asses, an alliance dedicated to independence in thought and action, unshackled the treaty web. As his P-47 Thunderbolt wings its way into the sunset, the thought occurred to us all that The Screaming Red Asses identity was flying off with him... without the Red Ass Commander, there can be no Red Asses. It is with deep regret that we announce the End of Existence of the Screaming Red Asses. Daunted but defiant, the Red Asses decided to take action, which lead to the following exchange and epiphany early one morning on IRC: XANTH: (amsg) BOOM-CHAGGA-LAGGA-LAGGA BOOM-CHAGGA-LAGGA-LAGGA BOOM-CHAGGA-LAGGA-LAGGA BOOM! KEVIN: Where the hell have you been, soldier? XANTH: Traaaaaaaining, sir! KEVIN: What kind of training, son? XANTH: Aaaaaaarmy training, sir! KEVIN: Where's your Red Ass Commander, men? XANTH: Blown up, sir! LURUNIN: Uhh, yes, sir, these are Walsh the Beloved's men. He deleted during basic training. KEVIN: So am I to understand you men completed your training on your own? XANTH: That's the fact, Jack! KEVIN: Captain, these are exactly the kind of go-getters I want on Planet Bob. It is with pride and a sense of bittersweetness that we announce Planet Bob's newest alliance: Same ol' asses, brand new theme! Government is: The Big Toe: Xanth The Murray: Smurthwaite The Raimis: RedArmy and Jraison Hot MP Chicks: Nymph and justrentjohnson FORUMS: IRC: WIKI: http://cybernations.wikia.com/wiki/Stripes A few notes of clarification: 1. The Screaming Red Asses ended without ever acknowledging peace in the "Dre4m War". SRA was born at war, and ended at war. 2. Stripes considers itself at war with Limitless Nexus, Monsters, Inc., and Confederatio Aesir until such time as a peace agreement is brokered. 3. All treaty obligations under the terms of the Lawyers, Guns and Money Doctrine will carry over to Stripes until further notice. That's the facts, Jack!
  4. Ah, micro drama. It's what keeps Bob interesting -- the little guys making moves in the gaps created by the tectonic movements of the big guys. No one loves good micro drama as much as me -- unfortunately, I don't have any to offer you. Just this: The Screaming Red Asses recognize a formal state of hostilities with Limitless Nexus and Monsters, Inc. While I possess the diplomatic nuance to deal with a small skirmish in a measured, low-level manner, a widespread attack on any alliance is a war, whether declared or not. Didn't want it, won't get any prettier than it is now, but it is what it is. Not much else to do but fire up the ol' Pratt & Whitney R-2800 Double Wasp and let it's throaty roar lead you to a target rich environment. More disappointing is the fact that I must also recognize hostilities with Confederation Aesir, an alliance whom I have always had a soft spot for. However, they also have initiated hostilities against us and thus we shall make it formal here. I look forward to negotiating a peace with you. Apologies also to our allies who have relationships with these alliances -- I should have been more proactive in keeping you abreast of these developments, but I didn't see them coming and am a bit lazy. TL;DR: It wasn't that long, you lazy !@#$%^&. Read it.
  5. Planet Bob's pre-eminent donkey themed alliance is three years old! As always, thanks to the allies who made it fun and the foes who made it interesting for us -- and more than one of you have migrated from interesting to fun over the years. Cake, photoshopped cake for everyone!
  6. Kashmir has produced many saints, poets and mystics. Among them, Lal Ded is very prominent. Legion’s DoW against Kashmir quoted the writings of Lal Ded, specifically Vakh 35: atha ma baa traavun khar baa “Do not let loose your ass, lest he damage others' saffron fields; For none will bare his back to suffer sword cuts and blows for you.” Who are we to ignore a religious sign? We ain’t here to support any coalition. We ain’t here to preserve or destroy global stability. We are here to suffer sword cuts and blows for Kashmir and to have at Legion's saffron fields. We’re almost certain our rigorous OPSEC procedures have left Legion slack-jawed with surprise at our blitz. Such is war, and much respect for not pre-empting us when you had the chance. o/ Kashmir o/ Legion o/ Entering for allies o/ Casualties Signed, TL;DR: Nope –you people had no idea that saffron even grew in fields. Now read the whole thing and learn something.
  7. Ubuntu the Great, the Lion of Africa, bane of the Godless and friend of the Red Asses, has left this planet in body, although his spirit lives on. Unfortunately, the Zulu AA does not, as it collapsed when good Ubuntu expired. While all things must pass, this passing may in fact have caught the members of Zulu unawares. Though we were never presented with an opportunity to fight alongside each other, Zulu was a treatied ally of the Screaming Red Asses. As such, we feel like we owe it to Zulu, the memory of good Ubuntu, and the fact that "Raidmas" is not typically celebrated among the people of the Serengeti, to offer the following to the former members of Zulu: Former members of Zulu who reform on the Zulu AA shall be protected by the Screaming Red Asses for one month, giving them time to either re-constitute their alliance or scatter to alliance affiliations of their choice. So it is written, so it shall be. Goodnight, sweet lion.
  8. Planet Bob's pre-eminent donkey-themed alliance turns 2 years old today! Thanks primarily to Xanth, from our humble beginnings as a one-man micro we are now at a modest 25 members and knocking on the door approaching the front porch of one million NS, cementing our position as an inconsequential influence on all things Digiterra. Please stop by what are often reviled as Bob's most unattractively formatted governmental forums and say hi if you're so inclined (and not prone to seizures). Until then, enjoy a piece of Ass cake: We'd like to thank all former and current Red Asses for getting us here, our pretty cool roster of war opponents for making life interesting, and our allies to giving us something worthy to fight for. Speaking of our allies, we have a bonus announcement to make regarding our position on treaties: All treaties signed by the Screaming Red Asses shall represent the right of the Screaming Red Asses to intervene politically, militarily and economically on behalf of treaty partners. Said treaty partners are understood to have reciprocal rights. This is forthwith applied retroactively to all existing Red Ass treaty partners. This doctrine does not represent a change to our treaty obligations, perceived or actual; it merely more accurately embodies the spirit of our treaty partnerships than any existing treaty template.* For your convenience, the "Ass-O-Sphere" as it currently stands: *For policy wonks only:
  9. Fans of micro-drama may recall the Talvisota War of February 2013, wherein 5 nations from Hooligans joined the Red Asses on the eve of their war with R&R, leading R&R to attack the Screaming Red Asses. During the intervening year and a half since that conflict, the Red Asses have uncovered information regarding the incident that have shed light upon those events -- information not entirely favorable to SRA. While we are not the type of alliance that simply makes up one way treaties with other alliances*, we are taking this opportunity to unilaterally amend the Peace of Ass agreement between the Red Asses and R&R to reflect the following addition: The particulars of the 3/5th clause are depicted in the following classic cinematic offering, starring Marlon Brando as EgoFreaky and, in an obvious piece of typecasting, some old, skinny, bald guy as Walsh the Beloved: (Click link^^^) R&R: we owe you one (or 3/5th of one, as the case may be). Let us know. Sincerely, *Okay, we are TOTALLY that type of alliance
  10. AN AMITY AND COOPERATION TREATY The Zulu Empire and the Screaming Red Asses are friends -- one will not shoot or throw a spear at the other. Should one friend wish for diplomatic, economic or military aid from the other, the request shall be given consideration most favorable -- most favorable indeed! So it is written, so it shall be:
  11. After beginning existence a year and a half ago as a one-man micro, the Screaming Red Asses are proud to announce that we have reached what for us is the lofty heights of 600,000 NS, 17 members, and a spot in the Top 100 alliances in the Amazing Sanction Race. While growth is nice, it hopefully is a simple by-product of doing things right. To that end, it is time to get to the real point of this post: the introduction of our current government line-up. Ladies and gentlemen of Planet Bob, the following is the current A-team of the Screaming Red Asses:
  12. WHOA – WHAT’S WITH THE NAZI PLANE? Ah, but it’s not. It’s a Finnish plane, from WWII. Why the Nazi markings? Well, it’s not that either. Finland had used the swastika as their air force insignia since 1918, a full 18 years before Hitler ever took power. Hitler, unfortunately, gave that ancient symbol a bad name from which it will likely never recover. But I digress – where was I? Oh yes – Finland. Sad little history for Finland in WWII. They had no real desire to get involved in the war. There they sat in 1939, doing all manner of typical Finnish things – hunting reindeer, shoveling snow, sewing fur onto the perimeter of their hoods, etc. -- when they were attacked by the Soviet Union, who feared the Finns would allow German troops to use their nation as a base. Hopelessly outnumbered and outgunned, they fought back anyway. Later, when Nazi Germany attacked the Soviet Union, Finland fought alongside them, hoping to reclaim territories lost to their common enemy. Not a good choice, but really, there were no good choices available to them. And THAT, ladies and gentlemen of Planet Bob, is how you somehow find yourself fighting alongside Nazi Germany when all you really wanted to do was hunt caribou in Lapland. I told you that so I can tell you this: On 21 February, 2013, the alliance of R&R initiated hostilities against the Screaming Red Ass alliance. Forthwith and in response, The Screaming Red Asses make the following announcements: 1) Small and lacking in significance though it is, Screaming Red Asses is an independent, sovereign alliance, and has been for lo these 230-some days. The Red Asses are NOT a sub-set or re-branding of the Hooligan alliance (as Poison Clan and Mushquaeda are to Non-Grata and MK, respectively) or any other alliance. 2) While I understand the reasons behind the R&R attacks, at the time they initiated hostilities no aid had come to or from the Red Asses to or from any belligerent alliance; no Red Ass member joined the Red Asses from any belligerent alliance nor joined any belligerent alliance from SRA; and no act of war was undertaken against R&R or any other alliance by SRA or its members. We feel this attack was unprovoked, and is diplomatically and politically not legitimate. 3) The Screaming Red Asses hereby recognize a state of war between themselves and the alliance of R&R. 4) The Screaming Red Asses do not consider this war a front of the Equilibrium War, nor themselves a part of the “Competence Coalition”. Whatever the cause of the current world war, that cause is not ours. 5) S’up, GOD? (No, this is not a declaration against GOD – I have nothing whatsoever against GOD and this war has nothing to do with GOD. I’ve just never DoW’ed an SF member before, and it seems like anytime there is a declaration of war on an SF alliance, somebody somewhere feels the need to add “S’up GOD” to the proceedings. I’m not sure for what reason GOD gets s’upped, or what the s’uppage of GOD accomplishes, exactly. Pretty sure that Tom Riddle could rogue NPL and the s’upping of GOD would commence. However, if the s’upping of GOD is some sort of prerequisite for declaring on an SF alliance, well, by admin let’s consider them s’upped and get on with it.) Signed, A MESSAGE FROM THE SCREAMING RED ASS MINISTER OF METAPHOR AND HYPERBOLE: In comparing ourselves to Finland of 1939, the overwhelming temptation may be present to assume we are implying that R&R are Stalinist aggressors. While in the metaphor they are in fact represented by the Soviet Union, they seemed pretty decent and un-Stalinist in diplomatic efforts, which I was sorry to see fail. Also, those seeking to extend the metaphor in the other direction should be aware that GATO, EvU, HB and my beloved Hooligansare not the Nazi’s you are looking for. TL;DR: Finland DoW on R&R No Competence S’up GOD? No one is really a Nazi
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