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Found 13 results

  1. 'Sup everyone. Now, I'm sure you're wondering what this announcement is about. (Haha, no you don't you probably don't give two shits). It's about people that make too many announcements. There are some people in this realm that appreciate recognition. There are others that go out of their way to seek it. There are others still that pretend to be a prestigious alliance by making mundane shitposts about pretty much everything that happens to them. I get on well with Rey, and the attacks against an ex-member. but they weren't our prime motivation (sorry!). It's a combination of boredom and mounting irritation with bad posting. I figured that after complaining about others not 'doing something' when they had the chance, that I should do at least one thing to reduce the tide of refuse here. I man look at the place, it's a fucking mess. Now, if you don't mind.... we'll get this conflict over and done with, coerce methrage into drinking faygo, then get back to doing nothing and chatting away on skype. P.S. These are the terms offered to Methrage. They are also available for any of those multis nations on the same AA. We do not recognise LN as a legitimate alliance.
  2. --------------------------------------------------------------- Wiki page: Here | Forum: alternianempire.forumotion.com | IRC: #AlternianEmpire --------------------------------------------------------------- >Exposit on the Alternian Empire Wow, I never thought I would ever make this Alliance more meta than it already is. Okay, so there's this thing on the internet called 'Homestuck' on a site about 'MS Paint Adventures'. Well, this Alliance isn't either of those things! This Alliance is a secret ploy by a bunch of Aliens from a long, long way away from this pseudo-Earth of ours. Another Universe, in fact. You see, there was once this badass Empress who was kind of a bit like an aquatic incarnation of the worst borderline-erotic dictatorial fantasies known to trollkind. "Wait, what's a troll?" I hear you say. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that. I should probably explain that as well. The Alternian Empire is an Alliance of Trolls. Well, hey. The secret was bound to be revealed eventually. Whoo. Big freaking surprise there. We're a bunch of insectlike, hive-dwelling bipeds that just happen to be a lot like humans. Yet, trolls are nothing like humans at all! Holy shit, who makes up stupid crap like this? Well, don't look at me. I didn't start this Alliance! Ohwait. ... Yeah. Sorry about that. Except that I'm not sorry at all. Because... This was bound to be a thing at some point in time. Yeah, trolls have a habit of pretty much spreading everywhere, exterminating the local populate, and setting up shop. Which is a lot like 'Homestuck' really. And right now, Cybernations is its most recent hovel. ---------------------------------------- We Are: - One of the top 40 Alliances in growth this year (2013) - Active, well-connected tech sellers; all 40 of them - A peaceful, non-raiding Alliance (for now...) - Not an Anime alliance Did I mention tech selling? Yeah. Our aid efficiency is around 60% right now. Of course we could use our aid even more, but when you factor in that AE primarily sells at 3/50 rates, we are definitely doing a pretty fine job. ---------------------------------------- In short, we're a fun micro that has done a rather successful job of staying alive, despite all the odds stacked-up in favour of swift and spectacular failure. Not only that, but we continue to grow in strength. Most importantly, we're having fun as a community. And if that isn't reason enough to >Join the Alliance, I honestly don't know what is. ---------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------- Wiki page: Here | Forum: alternianempire.forumotion.com | IRC: #AlternianEmpire ---------------------------------------------------------------
  3. *Static* [i]A white noise interferes with most radio transmissions within the relative airspace of the Auroran Air District (modern day Colombia). All radios set to the correct frequency channel will hear this message on loop[/i] "To the Sovereign Nations of our beloved Southern Continent, Brothers, For over three thousand years, our ancestors inhabited these lands. They worshipped their own gods, they lived their lives peacefully, and built upon their own lands homes of their own likings. Trees were not stripped unceremoniously, animals were not slaughtered mercilessly, and our people's did not die needlessly. Wars were not fought for the sake of wars, and blood was not shed for the sake of riches. Our people prospered, and though they were not the harbingers of a technological new age, they were happy. Until that foreign menace came and occupied our lands. They stole the riches of the earth, and hollowed out a place for their soulless thrones. They erected monuments of gluttony, and built statues devoted to their sins. They oppressed our ancestors until weak and broken they said not a word to the fall of our once beautiful empire. For a thousand years our people obeyed without rebuke. But now no more. The Houses of Moash, Heraan, Tekel, Dani, and Vella hereby declare that we will no longer endure this baseless tyranny. Our ancestor beheld the foreign menace and thought them gods. Now we know they are devils, and we are the divine children. Stand proud, for you stand with the unified voices of millions as we cry out: No more. On this day, the Auroran Empire assumes her birthright. On this day, the Auroran people stand up as the free men and women we were destined to be. On this day!, we shall rise from the lightless earth shaded by those trees far more ancient than we, and we look to those devil gods and bellow, 'this is our home. WE ARE FREE!' [i]The rumbling of cannons firing off in the distance continue for seconds after the speech before succumbing to the static[/i]
  4. Pace Traty ------ The Alternian Empire (AE) and The International Commonwealth of Nations (ICoN) hereby declare an end to hostilities. ICoN agrees not to attack former CoIN nations not currently under the ICoN AA. AE and ICoN agree to hold cross-alliance talks regarding ICoN's prosperity and future. Either party may choose to leave said talks at their own discretion. Any agreement made during said talks shall be non-binding unless agreed otherwise by AE and ICoN. ------ Signed, on behalf of ICoN: CobaltWolf -Founder Danger -Director of Directors Signed, on behalf of AE: Revolutionary Rebel - Empress JohnHenryHoliday - Agent of War Saniiro Matsudaira - Agent of Diplomaneuvering Kronia Dolius - Agent of Auspitizing Marc Rodin - Agent of Prosperity
  5. In hopes of bringing ourselves closer together, D(o)RN and AE would like to announce the following! Signed for the Dominion of Righteous Nations: GinoTheRoman - Sovereign Louis XVI - Regent Lucius Surana - Duke of Defense Jack Whiterstein - Duke of Interior Sir Kiloist - Magistrate of Finance Revan09 - Magistrate of Education Director V - Magistrate of Recruitment Roundtable GRIMLOCK - Knight Mamaev - Knight The Fritz - Knight Hafiz - Knight Signed for the Alternian Empire: RevolutionaryRebel - Empress Saniiro - Agent of Diplomaneuvering Kronia Dolius - Agent of Auspisticizing JohnHenryHolliday - Agent of War Marc Rodin - Agent of Prosperity Edit - Formatting hates me.
  6. On the 21st of June, an individual by the name of guandi raided one of our nations. Naturally, we proceeded to protect our members. Despite efforts to engage in meaningful dialogue he saw fit to provide us with horrible song lyrics and a few rather rude messages. Like this one. [spoiler] [/spoiler] For a while, I laughed at the thought of an alleged 'not new' nation thinking that 'taking down' a microalliance was srs bzns. Let alone thinking that would ever constitute a 'major war'. Dude, did you even Karma? So we asked for an apology. [spoiler][/spoiler] The reply was succinct. [spoiler][/spoiler] TLDR: The war ends when guandi either deletes or publicly apologises. Sad to see a TFD oldie acting like this, but them's the br8ks. Aiding said nation is an act of war, bla bla. Shit like this happens all the time, but people still ignore this, just ask NG. ... I apologise for making such an utterly boring and routine announcement.
  7. The Dissociative Alliance Identity Accord Trolls and ponies are both incredibly difficult matters of study. A great deal of time was spent attempting to reconcile the two highly divergent schools of thought that predominate in their respective realms. As such, it was impossible to draft a single, non-bifurcated Treaty to describe the confusing and conflicting perspectives presented herein. To this day, trolls still struggle to understand the disease concept of Friendship, and its magical qualities. It is equally unlikely that residents of the Everfree Forests will ever fully grasp the complexity of troll romance, and its various forms. Instead we shall attempt the rare and deadly Treaty x2 combo. Signed for EvU: Neptunebyte, Wrangler of Smelly Foreigners/Minister of Awesome Ignis, Minister of Financial Outreach, EvU Shave N. Haircut, Chancellor of Harmony, EvU Legatus Equus, Consul Signed for the Alternian Empire: RevolutionaryRebel - Empress / Agent of Diplomaneuvering Zhangku - Agent of Auspisticizing JohnHenryHolliday - Agent of War Marc Rodin - Agent of Prosperity
  8. 612 is an auspicious number for a number of reasons. This year, the Alternian Empire will be celebrating the occasion for the first time. And overall, things have been favourable for the Alliance. Yes, we are still a protectorate of the Phoenix Federation. Yes, we know they're not what they used to be, but they still know how to 'stick 'n move' as they say. To start off with, the Alternian Empire will be announcing a revised charter, building on the lessons learned over the past few months. Despite the odds, AE has been successful largely in showing to all Alliances that external recruitment is still possible. All that is required is the perseverance and the will to educate and train newcomers, despite the odds. The Alternian Empire was formed as an Alliance of outsiders, and that is something we expect to continue, though as always we have several individuals and allies to thank. They know who they are. For now, let us enjoy this first instalment.
  9. Within troll society, blue has a special place of importance: Those of an indigo hue are members of the Nobility, In recognition of the Pan-National Union being especially b100, the Empire saw fit to establish the following treaty. In turn, the PNU was distracted by the Empress' hot ass long enough to disregard all sense and logic and sign the following agreement with a genocidal, amphibious alien. ----------- Signed for the Pan National Union President: Rayan Thomas Vice-President: HelenasArmy Prime Minister: Sultan Hassan Minister of War: SgtInsanity Minister of Interior: CyberUndead Foreign Minister: atombomb3429 Economic Minister: iskiok Signed for the Alternian Empire: RevolutionaryRebel - Empress / Agent of Diplomaneuvering Zhangku- Agent of Auspisticizing JohnHenryHolliday - Agent of War Marc Rodin - Agent of Prosperity
  10. The Imaginary City Streets are full of countless dangers. Many a traveller has fallen afoul of its numerous pitfalls, such as being eaten by ghastly monsters, accidentally stomped by a nervous broad, or simply losing the ability to sustain their imaginary presence outside the realm. For this reason, the Alternian Empire and The Chaos Brotherhood see the following treaty as essential for the peaceful occupation and utilisation of this most peculiar dimension. Sharing is caring. Signed, on behalf of The Chaos Brotherhood Signed, on behalf of The Alternian Empire
  11. In AE’s DoE I confirmed their protection and stated we would not be making a separate announcement on the matter. We felt one was enough. I’d like to thank GOONS for showing me the error of my ways. The Phoenix Federation and the Alternian Empire entered into the "Down with the Clown Accords" on 8 April, 2013. Below is a full copy for you to skim briefly and comment extensively on. Signed for The Phoenix Federation: JudgeX – Evil Overlord Roadie – Evil Underlord Leeguy – Magistrate of War Signed on behalf of the Alternian Empire: RevolutionaryRebel - Empress / Agent of Diplomaneuvering Zhangku - Agent of Auspisticizing JohnHenryHolliday - Agent of War Marc Rodin - Agent of Prosperity
  12. Hello there, Digiterra, it’s been some time coming. The Alternian Empire bids you, the Nations and Alliances of this little planet of yours, to celebrate our Arrival. Some of you may welcome our coming with open arms. Others may cower in fear or raise their arms in anger. It does not matter to us. Some of you may have wished to prevent our arrival. But, how can you stop us when we are already here? We have been here for some time; quietly observing your ways, your customs, your habits. Learning what we deemed necessary to thrive within a hostile and primitive environment. Now, we are ready. Now, the armies of the Empire have begun their inexorable and unstoppable march towards victory. The Empire is here. Your shit is wrecked.
  13. Your name is DROOGS. You are currently situated in a SPACESHIP which has been directed to land upon the surface of a nearby planet. Your PILOT has just instructed you that your vessel will not be entering the planet for several hours, having only just entered the local SOLAR SYSTEM. In the meantime, you are busy PLOTTING while listening to the soothing songs of CROONERS in your personal QUARTERS. you are always PLOTTING. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You have a passion for everything efficient and PROFESSIONAL. In fact, were it not for your MURDEROUS TENDENCIES and being entirely AMORAL, you could be considered an exemplary GENTLEMAN. You like to levy taxes, oppress consorts, and all the unpleasant chores of GOVERNANCE others would never dirty their snout with. You have a fondness for SUITS and EXQUISITE HATS, and are in the possession of a collection of BACKUP HATS and SPARE SUITS. What will you do? That is an incredibly stupid thought. You feel absolutely horrible for even thinking that thought. Your treasured, precious sweet fefeta FEDORA should never be treated to such cruel and unusual punishment.Besides, rabbit felt tastes HORRIBLE and probably wouldn't agree with your gastrointestinal tract. And yet, the hat... It beckons. Perhaps. Speaking from an entirely hypothetical viewpoint and ignoring all concepts of intelligence and tact, it may be more palatable to consume a felt hat after a good, thorough boiling. Hypothetical of course.There is no possibility of you ever consuming your own hat. You have totally never done this before and definitely not after first boiling it for six hours straight. None at all. ==> But, of course, you have more pressing matters to attend to. You were instructed to act as a vanguard for an upcoming invasion of a planet so remote that you do not even have a proper word for it yet. But apparently, its inhabitants sometimes call it 'Bob'. Naturally, you have adopted this phrase in the interests of mingling with the local inhabitants once you arrive on the surface. Aliens are suckers for that sort of thing. The terminal in your room is sitting nondescript on your proudly unsoiled desk. Yes. This is an excellent idea, one which you have TOTALLY thought up on your own.You message the Big Cheese. She asks you if you're en route. You say yeah, and the package is also en route. She says good, you should have some people meeting you when you get there. You say that's pretty neat, you didn't expect a welcoming party when you hit planet-side. She says, consider it a gift. She also mentions something about wriggling days. You ask what a wriggling day is. She cackles a bit and tells you it isn't important. You ask her what the welcoming party is. She says it's a surprise. you say you don't like surprises. Not unless you are the one doing the surprising. You like to know exactly what is going on, so you can make sure things play out the way you want. You like holding all the cards, so to speak. She says you should make fewer gambling puns and more nautical puns. You say that sounds shellfish. She bursts into uncontrolled laughter. She says good one, and quickly hangs up. You sure know how to push the buttons of the Dames, when the need arises. You cross your fingers that this doesn't mean she'll be prodding you for more puns later. You don't like puns as much as you like engaging in brutal shenanigans, or scheming. Scheming is pretty much your favourite thing, alongside monochrome babes... when nobody else is looking.
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