Johnny Apocalypse

Some nobody who just likes to fight giants for fun. Also why announce anything if you're not gonna put in the effort to give it some gusto eh?

I'm up 88 places now ranked 40th and I get to be in both dumpsters? This is bliss. Nice wok again Piejonk

Okay I lol'd. That has to be an imposter right?

Nicely done! It'd be pretty neat if you could combine the stats with the map when you click on each combatant, though I've no idea myself how you could do that.

It is good to see you again my friend; they call this the 'end times' but haven't they always?

Yeah this is concise enough, thread over!

Yeah thank you zapdos for all the rent-free living but it's time I moved out y'know? Besides I've kinda been rolling solo for a while, so it's not like you haven't had the opportunity for well over a year 🤷‍♂️ Good luck! Now I get to find out if you're more competent than CLAWS.

My split-personalities thought this was the best way to communicate but I'm sure I'll get round to firing up the printing presses again at some point for The Day Today (or something similar) once my respective personalities reconvene somewhat. For the time being though? Number must go down.

I was in suspended animation during the time you're referring to and have mostly kept to myself apart from taking potshots at Doomsphere whenever the commies got into trouble (they are BUTT allies afterall) but don't you worry I have no intention of seeking mercy anyway. So let's dance.

Incoming transmission from the scrambled ORBS Extensive radiation has resulted in mutations with the Ouroboros consciousness leading to a fractured personality and a tendency toward violent pursuits stemming from delusions of grandeur. The following is a recently intercepted broadcast from the Chief Reporter(s) venturing out from the Central ORBS Tower: Voice #1: "What was that?" Voice #2: "It had CLAWS so we killed it" Voice #3: "That is good." Voice #1: "Such a weak and frail species" Voice #2: "So easily killed." Voice #3: "That is good." Voice #1: "There is a new objective. Less inferior and weak." Voice #2: "Yes, the terrible grungemen have asked us to help them kill it. Perhaps it will pose a real challenge." Voice #3: "That is good." Voice #1: "Our obligation to the Old Codgers Coalition still stands." Voice #2: "So we must continue to kill the others?" Voices #1, 2 & 3: "Yes, I will dispose of this one. You handle the others." "Very well then." "I will go and kill those that ran away from us." "That is good." ------- *End Transmission* ------- Ouroboros hereby declares war on Non Grata in accordance with Article V - Gluteus Maximus of the B.U.T.T in defense of the Post Grunge Supergroup. Ouroboros continues to recognise a state of war with CLAWS in defense of the Old Codgers Coalition. Signed: Johnny Apocalypse(s) - Demented Ghoul in Chief of ORBS

Oh dude, you ain't wrong. Failed leader to the max over here, I had a good run but all good things end. Sometimes well: sometimes badly. So yeah I do know a thing or two about that, I'll be here at the bottom watching you plummet. All the while living my best life doing what I did best; shooting at CLAWS without a care in the world. Yeah people 'make up' accusations, doesn't occur to you that there's some causation in that correlation? Complain about it to someone in your cult who cares, you insipid bootlicker.

Ouch burn oooh please stop. I'm much happier not being responsible for a band of idiots and the idea I needed her to be anything other than the person to crunch spreadsheets for me is laughable. So real talk; that 'drama' was all just a pre-text to stop her becoming leader of COBRA and becoming another NG proxy. She's the one who ran bawling to Stewie when I didn't make her Queen making a big scene about it. Also she was terrible at diplomacy, that sugar and spice thing might be working for you now but it won't last. Pride cometh before the fall and the fall is much higher from up there. Good luck! Speaking of toxic stench? Got plenty on your gang too bud, something glass houses and stones?

Speaking of micro leaders who abandon their alliances and throw vanity tantrums when they don't get their way..... But hey at least you got to be queen somewhere right?

"Deal with it"

Awww am I sensing someone feeling a little envious? Can't say I blame you really so I'll let you in on our secret. It goes a little bit like this: "When you got it, flaunt itStep right up and strut your stuffPeople tell you modesty's a virtueBut in the theatre modesty can hurt you"

Whenever someone uses the word irrelevant I can't help but see this clip play in my head every time:

Aha no worries it happens. Here's a gif to summarise for anyone else catching up:

This is great work, very nice to see keep it up!

Times change I guess? Also: Same, see above.

Strangely enough I've found that the less you have to lose, the greater it gets. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll come to find that out for yourself one day, until then enjoy me dancing in the show tonight

Oh it's definitely a childish throwing toys out of a pram act from him, clearly in response to the childish server raid to troll and pester his AA while giggling together about how funny and clever you are in private. But also as stated a few times; you had multiple options: A - Agree to peace; he deletes, no sanctions and trade reshuffling, no problems and one less person to waste your war slots on. B - Agree to peace; he welches and sanctions you anyway, resume smashing and your claim they weren't trustworthy is confirmed which gives you some good fodder to use to discredit your remaining opponents. C - Refuse to peace out; demand surrender instead, he does exactly what he said he'd do, he still looks like a prat and screws over his old alliance but so do you for doubling down (kinda like when people have demanded apologies in surrender agreements to fellate their own egos) and you still have to fix your trades. A or B would've been the most pragmatic but you chose C, the zero sum outcome. Well played!

Hey maybe I'll come join you on that and we can all be together again one last time

You make a salient point Hoo. He could indeed have done that, I guess my point was more that it's been a minor detriment to yourselves playing it this way round. Que sera sera! Because pragmatically speaking your choice has resulted in negative consequences for yourselves and you choose to still live on this planet- whereas James is gone and the only consequence is he didn't get to push the ejector button himself. Alternatively, it might have been the case sanctions on your nations could have been avoided entirely, James would have vanished and you'd at least get props for being decent sports about it. I understand that you didn't trust him and there's probably an element of pride at work (not wanting to just let him off the hook might make you look/feel weak or whatever I dunno- I get it y'know?) but as I said; if he welched on his agreement and proceeded to not delete and sanction you all anyway? You could continue to womp on him and it'd be good PR fodder for you to use against your opponents, it'd also help your case that your opponents are not trustworthy. This isn't a game what are you talking about? We live on a planet that someone called "Bob" over a decade ago and you're a leader of a nation who is part of an alliance called the Christian Coalition of Countries. Based on the name I assumed your people were practicing Christians and I lament the fate of the working citizens who still inhabit James' nation, souls which you have condemned to die by your hand for not bending the knee in the manner of your choosing (after you aided and abeted the start of an aggressive war against their allies). He did a bad thing on Bob and were I a Christian like yourself I would've forgiven him and let him and his working citizens pass into the Void, even if seven times over he sinned against me? He would be forgiven. However, I'm not a Christian and I believe that on this world working citizens and nations cannot burn eternally because objectively speaking, once a country has no infrastructure or land the people cease to exist. You cannot set fire to nothing (trust me I've tried). There is a God in some sense, along with a few lesser deities who oversee this planet; they are mostly ambivalent about what we do here as long as we adhere to their code and lines are not crossed. If they are feeling merciful they will grant any rulers they have banished a second life (See: BF1) Eventually there will be an end of days and the great serpent (Ouroboros) encircling our planet will cease to devour it's own tail and we will experience what the Norsemen call 'Ragnarok' - which may be quite a dramatic bang but it may just end up being a whimper. The only eternal thing that we have is the Void which awaits us all.

I'm not saying you're the bad guys for insisting he surrender on a planet he doesn't wish to inhabit any longer, I said it's petty because he wasn't demanding you give him a thing other than autonomy over his own method of jettisoning from Planet Bob. Then again, the above quote doesn't exactly scream "we're the good guys" - Burning people for eternity is typically handled by Satan, so I'll let scripture and another Christian do the talking: “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." - Luke 6:37 "To be Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you." - C.S Lewis You're right, it's more of a last resort ultimatum. Could've saved you a bit of bother with some of your trades though; do the guy one kindness and let him leave the planet on his own terms after his years living here with an unpleasant bitter ending to it all. Wouldn't have cost you a thing and if he welched on that agreement by not leaving then you could get back to womping on him. You stood to lose nothing if you had agreed and gained a problem by refusing, admittedly a minor nuisance at best but eh- you guys do you I guess? Keep wasting resources blowing up a deserted country- make sure you spite your faces thoroughly in the process.

I'm sure I literally don't care. He gave you guys a choice; peace out and let him leave the planet for good or continue being petty by insisting he surrender first. You chose the latter, he told you what would happen if you did 🤷‍♂️ Oh and sanctions are weapons already. They don't need weaponizing.