IN THE NAME OF UTOPOS!!! MAHOUTS RIDE AGAIN!!!
Something ponies, something bronies, something kill with fire. Something corrosive euphoria, something fedoras are awesome, something beards and necks, something atheism. Something minecraft? Something stereotypes? Something just a cartoon show? Something stop curse save male species.
IS THE ABOVE TOO [OUT OF CHARACTER] FOR YOU???
Well then consider this:
United Equestria has always been, for the most part, a very beyond pathetic alliance, having done very poorly dogpile after dogpile of other alliances, yet nowhere to be seen in the time of need of their own former protector and MDoAP partner. What exactly is this sort of foreign policy promoted by United Equestria? Is this the foreign policy of United Equestria showing us the magic of friendship? Is this foreign policy expressed by United Equestria the very manifest of the magic of friendship here on Bob promoted by a certain cartoon show? Is the foreign policy of United Equestria a tangible expression of the magic of friendship? For real. We at the UME think that this is the case, and that there should have been an answer against this sort of foreign policy long ago.
You may argue that the foreign policy of United Equestria is actually not unique to United Equestria, and that other alliances have adopted similar foreign policies, some of whom are currently even fully sanctioned global alliances. While it may be true that other Bobly alliances indeed may share extremely similar foreign policies, that of United Equestria has actually surpassed all of them in terms of most pathetic, since this foreign policy also generally involves doing absolutely nothing in between times of full-scale global conflict apart from breathing the same air as the rest of Planet Bob. We at the United Mahouts of Epicaricacy hereby declare that unless you fully embrace neutrality, absolute non-action is a horrible crime. On other planets beyond the scope of Planet Bob, it was actually considered a crime when certain kinds of balls attempted to steal the air from another planet with a giant vacuum cleaner, even though stealing the air was also actually the foreign policy of the balls. Granted nobody ever, ever suffocates on Planet Bob, should not similar, or at least the same behavior be considered frowned upon?
United Equestria, your magic of friendship has long overstayed its welcome. We at the UME are not interested in your cartoon show ideals of magic of friendship anyway, let alone your false pacifism, false message of love, and false pseudo-neutrality. Instead we prefer the magic of butchering and slaughter, as well as the magic of over 9000 dongs at our command. We also prefer the magic of the immense size of our elephants, and we look forward to introducing them to you in the form of our mahouts stampeding your ranges and ponytowns with them, to show that our elephants are superior in size and strength to your precious ponies. We also fully believe that the slaughter of innocent ponies is capable of granting cures to all of Planet Bob’s ailments, or at the very least, providing helpful relief of its symptoms.
TL;DR United Mahouts of Epicaricacy and other such destroyers hereby declare war on United Equestria.
/ signed for United Mahouts of Epicaricacy /
BlackClown – Grand Mahout
[spoiler] / signed for the Goon Order of Neutral Shoving /
/ signed for Los Pollos Hermanos /
Rey the Great
/ signed for the League of Anti Bronies /
Here's your DoW “lolman,” though you don’t appear to be a man of lols. We may be what we are and have been in this world for so long (which was probably a mistake for some of us), that won’t change the fact that we have accomplished so much more and have had much more fun than your alliance ever has, and likely ever will.
Dogpiles in question:
Time of need in question: