I understand your frustration and you're absolutely right - it turns new players away from the game. The older players have simply gotten used to the system and don't care anymore, or actively revel in it. I believe !@#$%* when it was in Alpha (don't play it now, it's a shell of its former self) had a much more welcoming system where you could stay in Peace Mode indefinitely with no penalty, but upon exiting your military functioned at 50% efficiency for a significant period of time. As of right now your only path to peaceful growth is to fall under the umbrella of a neutral alliance, and even that isn't perfect as such alliances still get attacked. There's also no option to strike it solo and just leave everyone alone without getting raided. Unfortunately I do not believe the creator of this game would ever be so inclined as to modify PM in order to allow for a peaceful growth experience, as the implementation of a constantly increasing economic penalty on nations in PM suggests that he wishes to keep all nations and alliances in a perpetual state of warfare. You could try making a proposal in the Suggestion Box; it wouldn't hurt investing that bit of time in considering that you already spent some capital on the game.
Edit: I find it funny that the word filter blocks the name of a competitor's game. :P
