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ScratchScreen

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Everything posted by ScratchScreen

  1. I did...but WHO ARE THEY?! And why have they had enough of me?!
  2. [quote]Subject: War Declared! Message: War has been declared on you by Terra de Firma for the following reason: TFP time to go!! You may access your War & Battles screen to view and manage this war.[/quote] [quote]Subject: Battle Report Message: You have been attacked by Terra de Firma. You lost 323 soldiers and 0 tanks. You killed 155 soldiers and 9 tanks. Their forces razed 8.273 miles of your land, stole 5.050 technology, and destroyed 18.255 infrastructure. Their forces looted $100,796.93 from you and you gained $0.00 in your enemy's abandoned equipment. In the end the battle was a Defeat. Any existing peace offers that were on the table have been automatically canceled.[/quote] [quote]Subject: Battle Report Message: You have been attacked by Terra de Firma. You lost 119 soldiers and 0 tanks. You killed 415 soldiers and 11 tanks. Their forces razed 7.943 miles of your land, stole 5.053 technology, and destroyed 17.526 infrastructure. Their forces looted $13,391.59 from you and you gained $0.00 in your enemy's abandoned equipment. In the end the battle was a Defeat. Any existing peace offers that were on the table have been automatically canceled.[/quote] [quote]Subject: Escorted Bombing Attack Report Message: A fighter escorted bombing run has been launched against your nation by Terra de Firma. In the attack you lost 0 defending tanks, 0 cruise missiles, and 0.00 infrastructure. You destroyed 3 attacking bombers. You lost 0 fighter aircraft and destroyed 0 fighter aircraft launched by Terra de Firma. Any existing peace offers that were on the table have been automatically canceled.[/quote] [quote]Subject: Cruise Missile Attack Message: Your nation has been attacked with a cruise missile by Terra de Firma. You lost 0 defending tanks, 1.18 technology, and 10.11 infrastructure. Any existing peace offers that were on the table have been automatically canceled.[/quote] [quote]Subject: This is the end Message: You've annoyed CN for long enough. TFP have decided to annihilate you. [/quote] WHO ARE TFP?!
  3. [quote name='Bob Ilyani' timestamp='1330727770' post='2932177'] Hopefully it is the final issue, [/quote] It is. Hence the 'Final Issue' remark.
  4. [quote name='Atanatar' timestamp='1330726919' post='2932161'] Best part, in my opinion. [/quote] Glad to see I amused you in some way.
  5. [quote name='905tf' timestamp='1330726736' post='2932157'] This is by far the most ridiculous, silly thing I've heard in quite some time. As Submitter (President) of Farkistan, I can personally assure you that we have not DoW'd either GOONS or Denios and that scratchscreen's "journalism" is nothing more than complete fabrication. Now were you really hitting on bmckenna, that's the real question... [/quote] Ah man, and there's me thinking you had! Sorry, I tried to make it clear that this was a joke....obviously we need a good leader like you to rise up and paint the picture as clear as day. The real answer would concern you.
  6. [quote name='Atanatar' timestamp='1330726297' post='2932150'] What a remarkable waste of time this entire thing has been. [/quote] Welcome to my world. It could have only worked with Fark. I tried it with other alliances: #ponies <scratchscreen> erm...guys...you're not at war with anyone are you? <BigMacintosh> Who? <Chezik> I want one * Durandan[Fark] it begins <bananagram> hey guys <Chezik> if it would stop jamming <bananagram> feeling a bit antsy? <bananagram> well let's fight someone anyway <scratchscreen> I mean, I really want a nice little story for the final issue of ILT, but I'm totally strapped <BigMacintosh> How often do you clean it chezik? That got out of hand way to quickly... #umbrella <scratchscreen> are you guys at war? <Omniscientone> They're at war with Deinos. <scratchscreen> I heard that too <Atanatar[Fark]> I'll have to activate the super secret MDAP Fark has with Deinos, then. <scratchscreen> oh forget it. #ve #ve Cannot join channel (+b) (you are banned)
  7. [quote name='Emperor Marx' timestamp='1330725729' post='2932144'] Another example of exceptional journalism. [/quote] Did he not understand the joke, or is he just jealous he didn't get interviewed?
  8. <scratchscreen> I'm 'obliged' (according to your government) to inform you that this was, in fact, a prank performed. There was no malicious intent. <bmckenna[Fark]> lol, no worries. i figured as much before your "big reveal" <bmckenna[Fark]> a+ would play again <scratchscreen> When you get an 'official' title as a journalist, might as well take advantage of it! <scratchscreen> And I know you did...some people were making a massive deal <bmckenna[Fark]> especially when the paper is closing <scratchscreen> Thanks for reading <bmckenna[Fark]> np! <scratchscreen> And on that note, Fark off! See you later <bmckenna[Fark]> lol, take it easy. <scratchscreen> I said fark <bmckenna[Fark]> you did!
  9. Quite some time after publishing this, I received this: <scratchscreen> Are you a member of Deinos? <Caliph> no <Caliph> sorry for the delay, was afk <Caliph> i'm in Umbrella, not Deinos <scratchscreen> oh. That's a bummer. <Caliph> why are you looking for someone from Deinos? <Caliph> you might have better luck with someone on their forums? <scratchscreen> probably. <Caliph> well good luck with that
  10. Most of you will be very happy to know I've decided to pull the plug on ILT. It didn't go on for very long, but we all realized it was the greatest pile of poop I'd ever composed (OK, not quite as bad as the VE thing. That really was a kick in the groin) Anyway, having got a tincy name for myself as a..(brace yourself) 'journalist' I thought it was time to go out with a bang. I'd like to begin by apologizing to the Fark government. Confusing people is not big and it's not clever. It's quite funny though. So here goes, the big 'news' that Fark has declared war on Deinos...and I interview unwitting members about it! [size="6"]FARK DECLARE WAR ON DEINOS[/size](giggle) <scratchscreen> Hi <Durandan[Fark]> Hello <scratchscreen> I'm Scratch, from In Layman's Terms, you probably know why I'm interviewing you... <Durandan[Fark]> I'm afraid I don't, really <scratchscreen> Fark's declared war on Goons? What's your opinion of this? <Durandan[Fark]> I'd say it's been quite some time since Fark has declared war on Goons, and I'd also like to point out I'm not .gov and really can't comment beyond that. <scratchscreen> Fark declared war on Goons an hour and a half ago? It's all over the forums...I'm looking for a users view? <Durandan[Fark]> Well, someone in .gov must've got drunker than usual. <scratchscreen> Will you be having an active involvement in the war? <Durandan[Fark]> Well, the thing is <Durandan[Fark]> I've been queried by my superiors, informing me that I don't have the power to be in interviews <Durandan[Fark]> And considering I'm one of those dumb "point me at the target and hit the launch nuke button" guys I think I'll have to ask you to talk to Atanatar, he should be in #farkistan <scratchscreen> Thanks for your time though, it's must appreciated. Best of luck! Shortly after this, I received the following: <Atanatar[Fark]> Good afternoon, I heard you're spreading rumours about a supposed Fark DoW on GOONS? <scratchscreen> I've been informed by a source who has chosen not to be named about a war <Atanatar[Fark]> Given that i'm Fark .gov, I hope you're not shocked that this is the first i'm hearing of this. I decided to continue, despite this. <scratchscreen> Hi <bmckenna[Fark]> hi yourself <scratchscreen> Thanks. I'm from In Layman's Terms. Mind if I ask you a few questions? <bmckenna[Fark]> shoot! <scratchscreen> I'm sure you've heard enough about the big war, but did the ongoing feud give the impression it was leading to war? <bmckenna[Fark]> which big war and which ongoing feud? <scratchscreen> Well, Fark declared war on Deinos...it's all over the forums? <bmckenna[Fark]> oh, that war. <scratchscreen> Yeah <bmckenna[Fark]> i wouldn't call it "war" so much as a jurassic park type situation. <scratchscreen> No, an hour ago they declared war officially. <bmckenna[Fark]> you know, we've got our island, the dinosaurs are all cool <bmckenna[Fark]> then freaking NEWMAN comes in and ruins everything <bmckenna[Fark]> and since we didn't say the stupid magic word <bmckenna[Fark]> all the power goes out, the electric fences go down <bmckenna[Fark]> and the dinos start running free <bmckenna[Fark]> eventually i get into one of our jeeps and drive off. shame i had to leave the kids behind, but... <bmckenna[Fark]> war is hell. it's every man for himself. <scratchscreen> It sure is <scratchscreen> But, will you be taking an active role in the war? <bmckenna[Fark]> i mean, i'll probably return to the island to help clean up once the mess has settled down, yeah. <bmckenna[Fark]> take a helicopter in or something once they get all the security systems restored. <scratchscreen> That's awfully nice of you <bmckenna[Fark]> i try my best. i mean, one man against a t-rex is crazy dangerous odds, but...it's the life of a farker <scratchscreen> There is no war, is there? <bmckenna[Fark]> i mean...there's no news coverage, but what did you expect? <bmckenna[Fark]> things go very awry on a private corporation's island <bmckenna[Fark]> of course they're going to decline any comments to the media <scratchscreen> This is all just a prank for the last issue of In Layman's Terms, isn't it? But you knew that <bmckenna[Fark]> well, duh. we wouldn't war deinos, not with our super secret MDAP we have with them. <bmckenna[Fark]> oh, crap, i wasn't supposed to mention that, was it... <bmckenna[Fark]> DAMMIT. <bmckenna[Fark]> *was i <bmckenna[Fark]> now i'm really screwed. <bmckenna[Fark]> please don't tell gov i said anything, ok? <scratchscreen> I won't <bmckenna[Fark]> thanks pal, you're a real lifesaver <bmckenna[Fark]> good luck in your future endeavors! <scratchscreen> by the way, I need permission to publish this to ILT, but I assume it's a yes <bmckenna[Fark]> if you think it's publishable, go for it <bmckenna[Fark]> can you fix my typo so i don't look like such a tool? <scratchscreen> There's nothing wrong with looking like a tool. People have compared my head shape to a hammer before <bmckenna[Fark]> fair enough. i've been compared to a reciprocating saw, myself. <scratchscreen> A very attractive recipracating saw, I'm sure. <Atanatar[Fark]> Indeed. What was being said, how ever? <scratchscreen> Here is the message: "Fark V Deinos..it's coming" <Atanatar[Fark]> Yeah, sounds like wild conspiracy theories to me. Some one is pulling your leg. <scratchscreen> Unless of course, I'm pulling my own leg? <Atanatar[Fark]> So you admit it's a possibility you're possibly making this stuff up, for the benefit of your own ego and drama? <scratchscreen> No, sorry, I was just trying to think of something to return with... <scratchscreen> Hi <stargatesg1[fark]> hi <scratchscreen> Do you mind if I ask you some questions about the war? <stargatesg1[fark]> what war? <scratchscreen> Fark V Deinos? <stargatesg1[fark]> would you care to link me to the OWF announcement of that war <stargatesg1[fark]> since I have heard nothing of it <scratchscreen> Well, will you be taking an active part in it? <stargatesg1[fark]> what war? <scratchscreen> Fark V Deinos <stargatesg1[fark]> there is not Fark v. Deions war. I think you should talk to .gov <scratchscreen> I've spoken to them and they said they will not comment any more, but I was permitted to speak to members. <stargatesg1[fark]> Well thats odd since there is no war to talk about <scratchscreen> You're quite hard to interview! Deinos V Fark!??!? Haven't the gov told you? <stargatesg1[fark]> I have heard of no such war <stargatesg1[fark]> I am not even sure who Deinos is <scratchscreen> Fark and Deinos have been arguing since time began. Earlier today, Fark officially declared war to settle it once and for all. <stargatesg1[fark]> oh really now <scratchscreen> Yeah <stargatesg1[fark]> I am a Fark member and active and there is no such feud <scratchscreen> I'm a journalist, well-known and respected [b][that's a lie][/b], and there has been an ongoing feud for some time <stargatesg1[fark]> I'm an active member there is no such feud <scratchscreen> Look, I'm not having a back and forth argument with you. <stargatesg1[fark]> forth* <stargatesg1[fark]> and no you are trolling me <scratchscreen> trolling is the wrong word <stargatesg1[fark]> quite poorly at that since there is no bloody war <stargatesg1[fark]> may I ask what AA are you on? <scratchscreen> ASDF <stargatesg1[fark]> never heard of them but thats not a big surprise since I am not active in politics <scratchscreen> Well then, it's unsuprising you don't know about the FARK v DEINOS war <stargatesg1[fark]> no since I am active internally <stargatesg1[fark]> and we get that information <stargatesg1[fark]> unless you are passing along intel that Deinos is intending on attacking Fark <stargatesg1[fark]> that would be greatly appreciated <scratchscreen> I assumed you'd take the intel in the right way, but clearly I have to paint the picture! <stargatesg1[fark]> thanks for it I'll be sure to pass it on <Atanatar[Fark]> You're going around spouting accusations of Fark going to war against alliances that it has very little reason to attack. This leads to a few possibilities: You're making this stuff up or some one if feeding you hilariously bad information. In either case, it's a rather poor attempt to slander Fark, and thus I would appreciate it if you comported your self in accordance with the gravity <Atanatar[Fark]> of the charges you'r levying against us. <scratchscreen> ok, I'm sorry. I'll stop now and make clear to all the people I asked about it I'm now certain I was wrong <bmckenna[Fark]> are you hitting on me? <bmckenna[Fark]> if so...proceed. <bmckenna[Fark]> <scratchscreen> <scratchscreen> And on that note... <bmckenna[Fark]> ta ta!
  11. Sorry, I don't have these games either...I've got Call of Duty though
  12. I [b]need[/b] to delete my nation immediately, but I still have foreign aid active. I've spoken to the person who offered me the aid and they say they can't cancel it, and nor can I. Is there any way we can collectively cancel it, or you can delete my nation?
  13. Issues will now be less frequent. Thank you all for your feedback.
  14. [size="5"]United Equestria “Here to stay”[/size] Breaking a million strength, United Equestria (an alliance seemingly based around ‘My Little Pony’) says they are “Here to stay”. I was lucky enough to get an exclusive interview with ‘Celly’ ‘Princess Regnent’ (the leader) <scratchscreen> Hi! <Celly> hi <Celly> how can i help you <scratchscreen> well, I like your new alliance! 99 members is very impressive! What's your aim? <Celly> ....aim? <scratchscreen> so, you don't have an aim? <Celly> TBH, just to have a good time. We're a tight and loving family <scratchscreen> And, why the pony theme? <Celly> Keep growing and looking out for our own security, but we are a non-aggressive family <Celly> because ponies <Celly> we are ponies <Celly> we legitimately love My Little Pony. At least, the most recent show. <Celly> because it's a legitimately good show <scratchscreen> Oh ok. How serious are you about CN? <Celly> despite the stigma in the title <Celly> uhhhhhhhhhh <Celly> We aren't a joke alliance <Celly> if thats your question <scratchscreen> Oh ok. So, who can join? <Celly> We're just doing our own thing, politics as usual, all the "omg cn iz dying" <scratchscreen> ponies just wanna have fun? <Celly> Anyone who doesn't have other people after them. you really have to up and keep up for us to outright not want you. However, other members disagree with this: “You'll always be a joke. “ says Jacapo Saladin from Non Grata Last issue, someone asked me to look into why Asgaard was loosing ns and members. Bagpuss, a member of Jihad, explains this: <Bagpuss> Asgaard dont exist <Bagpuss> merged into Valhalla <scratchscreen> Is that why they are loosing so much ns and nations? <Bagpuss> that would be why Asgaard is losing nations and Valhalla are gaining <Bagpuss> i was not in Asgaard or in Valhalla <scratchscreen> What alliance are you in? <Bagpuss> Jihad <scratchscreen> When did this merge happen? <Bagpuss> last week or so roughly Although this isn't big news, I hope this answers your question.
  15. [quote name='Proest' timestamp='1328306425' post='2914012'] What is the point of this thread? I believe the above cockroach level intelligent masses are aware that a coup occurred in Ragnarok and that they have issues.... [/quote] So all the info is THERE! New members would have to crawl through all the threads and do a lot of research to know what any of the threads are on about! Also, I just wanted to make the big stories of the moment clearer, so people knew what was going on. Finally, the interview is exclusive, and can't be found anywhere else. It just means everything is in one place, is concise and easy to read and understand!
  16. [i][b]All the alliance news, easy to see and read![/b][/i] [size="6"][b]RAGNAROK REBUILDS[/b][/size] Ragnarok has decided to rebuild because their leadership isn't following the views of the alliance. Their official statement says: [i]"Over the past few weeks Ragnarok has faced a storm as we came under leadership that didn’t share the spirit of our culture, nor the values of our charter. This was not a coup led for popularity or any frivolous cause. "[/i] I was lucky enough to get an exclusive interview with the Empress of RoK, Empress Adel: <MsAdel> Hello [i]<scratchscreen> Hello![/i] <MsAdel> How can I help you [i]<scratchscreen> Well, I was wondering about the forum 'could the real Ragnarok please stand up'[/i] <MsAdel> Basically we were announcing our new government after replacing the old one [i]<scratchscreen> what was wrong with the old one? [/i] <MsAdel> They didn't understand the principles the alliance was founded on and violated our charter [i]<scratchscreen> So, what are you going to change about the alliance in order to allow it to follow the principles?[/i] <MsAdel> I am not so much changing as taking things back to the way they were [i]<scratchscreen> how is that? [/i] <MsAdel> The previous gov made decisions on their own... <MsAdel> Yes we had an advisory council set up which wasn't being consulted <MsAdel> So I am going back to a more inclusive gov for one. [i]<scratchscreen> Oh, and you aim to make the advisory council have a higher say in what happens? [/i] <MsAdel> Well at least get their opinions before decisions are finalized <MsAdel> And be more open and accountable to the members as well [i]<scratchscreen> So more democracy? [/i] <MsAdel> Not quite that far, <MsAdel> Final say still rests with the empress [i]<scratchscreen> So, what can we expect to see from ROK in the coming weeks and months? [/i] <MsAdel> We will be working to strengthen ourselves internally [i]<scratchscreen> In preperation for anything, or just in case? [/i] <MsAdel> Just in case but also the gov shake up has pointed out holes and things that need fixing <MsAdel> So we will fix them. [i]<scratchscreen> what sort of holes? [/i] <MsAdel> Places where our previous gov had dropped the ball. Things which could be more efficient. <MsAdel> Stuff like that <MsAdel> And we will be reaching out to other alliances to get to know them better. [i]<scratchscreen> oh ok. Thanks for your time! [/i] Despite the controversy, NATO (who hold a protection treaty with RoK) have decided to maintain the treaty due to, what they call, "many wonderful and awesome individuals". Although RoK have not released an official statement on this (At the time of print" Adelheidi, a member of RoK, says "Thanks for your support." [size="5"]DB4D and NAC[/size] DB4D and NAC recently upgraded their Pride and Honour treaty. Below is a quote of the treaty's upgrades: [quote]Article A- Mutual Defense: DB4D and NAC will stand together in mutual defense. An attack on either NAC or DB4D will be considered an attack on both and will be responded to accordingly. Article B- Aggression: Should either DB4D or NAC find themselves in an aggressive war, or conducting aggressive military operations, the other party holds the option to assist in any way possible. Article C- Intelligence: All appropriate intel effecting either party will be shared among both parties. Article D- Cancellation: This document may be cancelled by either DB4D or NAC after a 72 hour notification.[/quote] We were lucky to get this exclusive quote: <mankiller> all I see, is a ship at sea, all the crew an important part of the functions of the ship <mankiller> should a part become defective, another will take its place, as the stability of the ship is paramount, all the while, something is lost, while something is gained, men falling overboard, cannons blasting the broadsides, all this tests the ship Mankiller- Co-Minister of Foreign Affairs Also, these two quotes were also found on the forums "This is a good day for the both of us. " Thom98-Triumvirate NAC "I like this. A lot." Erixxxx- Supreme Regent DB4D Thanks for reading!
  17. Well, I'm back! I was only gone for about 3 months, but the reason I'm back is to sort out something very important I can't really tell you about yet. But don't panic, my blog will be the FIRST place you hear about it! SS
  18. [quote name='New Frontier' timestamp='1328298657' post='2913927'] You were gone for, like, a month maybe? [/quote] Yes but unfortunately I had to come back to sort something out. I won't give any more info until an official statement is released. Hope this is ok!?
  19. About time too! Well, I'm back! Why? Long story. I don't want to say too much, but a specific thing triggered me to return to the action of CN. Thanks for welcoming me!
  20. Joint leader previously, but now the other leader has left leaving me with all the important choices. And one very important choice had to be made.
  21. [quote name='Crymson' timestamp='1326310978' post='2897497'] Are you on drugs? [/quote] Don't think so, no. Why?
  22. [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XrL_F6tnT4"]Click Here![/url] We at NFC would like to say goodbye, goodbye, good friends, goodbye. Thanks for your love and support. We're outta here!
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