Rage McKill

Selling GOONGov secrets at 50 tech a pop. Get 'em while they're hot! [size="1"]and/or before we disband[/size]

There comes a time when one realizes that one must man up, and face the music. I come here to page 12 or 13 of this OWF thread because I am guilty of many crimes committed this past week. I humbly offer an apology to the New Sith Order for 'Gather Intel' spy attacks against random nations flying the NSO AA. This was wrong of me to do, and it was especially wrong of me to start a chain mail letter, entitled "Fwd: LOL l00k at this warchet XDDDD!!", which immediately began rapid circulation among nations on Planet Bob. I cannot give you a motive, for I had none. I simply did this out of straight curiosity, with little regard for the consequences. I hope this will not impair relations between NSO Higher Government and Myself. Still up for Tech Raid Tuesdays? I must also apologize to The Legion. Upon reading their accusation thread (which may or may not have resulted from the chainmail), I was overcome by a sudden urge to spy random Legion members in my NS range with spy odds over 70%. My rationale for the time was, "What the hell, everyone else is doing it." and I realize now that this was wrong of me to do. I do not, however, apologize for spying away a few cruise missiles on that one guy. Seriously bro, get rid of them. I also extend my apologies to the New Pacific Order for screwing around with some certain Pacifican's DEFCON levels shortly after the legion attacks. I don't know what came over me. Please don't take offense, and I did spy DEFCON to 1 that one time. I also apologize to agni365 of GOONS for [i]jokingly[/i] suggesting that Slide nuke you. IT WAS A JOKE SLIDE Thank you for your time, Rage McKill, GOONS Dongmaster

Good luck with your newest ambitions, NPL! Give my regards to Savland for me.

So ends the tale of a true warrior. On a brisk morning on June the 3rd, Peggy Sue was unjustifiably sanctioned by Pandora's Hegemony. This cowardly act not only crippled the proud and noble nation known as State of Mind, it also caused untold damage to her trading partners - innocent third parties! All of that tax income, gone. And what does the OWF do? They spit on her. Hiding safely behind their alliances, they laugh at the crime taking place before all of you now. Like spectators to some barbaric gladiatorial match, they signal the GOONs to deliver the finishing blow. Know this, craven cowards who would merely stand by and watch the weak and innocent be tormented, those who would wish doom upon peggy: I will not stand for it. I will not watch the defenseless be winnowed away by this dark plague. I will fight for what's right on Planet Bob, and there's not a damn thing that will stop me. Starting this very day, I will form a micro AA that will [size="1"][s]glare angrily at them[/s][/size] challenge these GOONs at every junction, at every concursion. I beseech ye, the bold and righteous of Planet Bob: Unite with me, together under one cause! They will not get away with their crimes! Peggy Sue will not be forgotten. These "GOONs". They only have one purpose: To destroy everything you hold dear. Your tech, your friends, your entire alliance, all is fair game for the GOONs. Those who laugh at me now take one look at Peggy Sue, and know your ultimate fate. When the end comes, you will know my words. I have logged on to their "Something Awful", and I have seen it: Hordes of GOONs-to-be, all plying for something they call "pubbie tears". It is exactly what it sounds like. From its very conception, a GOON nation is given one purpose by its masters: Destroy. They care little for building up large amounts of infrastructure and collecting taxes, only craving the next mercilessly attack on others. What exactly do they think this is, a game? I have seen how they fight. One lone target is swarmed on all sides by GOONs, all eager and hungry to ruin yet another one's experience. Dishonorable! Even worse, they expect those who wish peace to beg for mercy! The defenseless nation is taunted and only given peace if they perform crude acts, acts too depraved to recount here. As I am writing this call to arms alongside my latest Blog release, "Why Umbrella and MK Are Enablers (Part 7)", I realize something. I am quite literally superior to all of you. Read my words, cretins: Your elementary attempts at the written art of language pales in comparison to my enlightened works, works that your sad, pathetic little minds refuse to fully register. You laugh at me? When I reign supreme over Planet Bob, only those chosen elite will stand at my side while you basic and naive fools wallow in your ignorance. All will know and respect me for the cultivated intellectual that I am. Ignore my words now, but when I finish community college and earn my math degree - you will regret it.

what is GOON look nobody tells me anything around here

[center][img]http://images.wikia.com/cybernations/images/d/db/GOONS_Ride_To_War.jpg[/img] [b][u]Wearing Jeans and Leather, Not Cracker-Jack Clothes.[/u][/b][/center] (CrushMaim Weekly) Burger Town, Little Mikes - 03/31/2011 - Last night, an emergency gathering of press was mandated by Rage McKill. With myself being the only reporter remaining in Little Mikes, I was unceremoniously thrown into a large room, the door giving an ominous click behind me. I looked around, my eyes struggling to adjust to the new lighting. A massive auditorium stood before me, rows upon rows of empty chairs meticulously lined up to face the center podium, surrounded by numerous microphones and cameras. Plush red carpet guided guests to their seats. A giant spotlight completed the display, blasting down onto the stage enough photons to fry a small animal. I glanced at the ticket I was given just seconds before my entrance. Row 1 - Seat 43, right in the center. Before I could sit down and get a good look around, a hurried-looking bureaucrat scooted over to the podium. "The p-press release will begin immediately!" his squeaky voice exploding out of the gargantuan sound system. I sat down and he continued, "Please join me in welcoming our incredible leader, bringer of all that is war and refined carbohydrates, Rage McKill!" The spotlight screeched to the right, following a burly figure as he strode to the podium. He had chosen his classic outfit of worn-and-torn jeans mixed with a slightly stained wife beater, completed with a unbuttoned plaid over shirt. Strapped to his belt was an evidently well-loved fire axe, which he kept at his side wherever he went. I sat there, notepad in my lap, my lone clapping echoing through the room. He looked around the room, his eyes scanning the chairs before settling on me. He glared. I smiled. He leaned over to the unknown official, whispering. [size="1"]"I thought we had at least 5 of them from last time I remember doing this, where the hell are they?" "S-sir, the uh.. [inaudible].. remember?" "Oh, right."[/size] He thanked the unknown official, who then almost sprinted offstage to the left. "Right, then!" his voice booming from the speakers, hands grasping the sides of the podium. "I will begin by.." A pause. He withdrew a stack of weathered notecards from his back pocket and placed them on the podium, staring at the first card. "I will begin by presenting some new themes, composed for our glorious nation!" He looked around the room with a forced smile. I clapped. "I would also like to announce that the Department of Numbers has finished wrapping up another report of useless statistics for our viewing pleasure." McKill consulted the notecards, "As of today, Little Mikes has been in a state of war since.." He squinted at the card, "..one month before it's creation." "That's.. incredible. Let's move on." A projector began to whirr and a powerpoint slide slowly came into view. [quote]new tanks plan[list] [*]switch from tanks to war motorbikes - warbikes!! need to have loud speakers + mounted launchers [*]mohawks [*]tactical goggles (maybe with the hud thing those fighter pilot guys have) [*]some sick tats - consult mandozer asap [*]jeans, leather vests, maybe body armor?? [*]going for retro apocalypse look here [/list][/quote] "Damn it, hold on." His giant hands struggled with the tiny remote. *click* [quote]Awesum stuff for glorousnation!![list] [*][url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUx8gRFnNWQ"]warbike attack song[/url] (needs to be played while killing things) [*][url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHyUYxBXLdc"]another attac song[/url] (ooh yeaahh oooh yeaaahhh) [*][url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WS6-vI70oc0"]rages quiet thinking time music[/url] [*][url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=in8MuHJCXdI"]pacifica prevails[/url] [/list][/quote] "There." He leaned over the podium, glaring at me, "Start asking questions." I flipped open my notepad. ###### [u]Me:[/u] "Any reason for the four songs?" [u]Rage McKill:[/u] "Listen up you, thirteen songs is a pain in the ass to put together. I can't fit that many dots up there, anyway." [u]Me:[/u] "I am not criticizing the number of songs." [u]Rage McKill:[/u] [laughs] "Oh. Yeah! I chose them because they represent.. something. I also wanted to make a subtle dig at NPO, did you catch it?" [u]Me:[/u] "Yes. Yes I did." [silence] [u]Me:[/u] "Hmm. A number of citizens have expressed dissatisfaction with your administration and wish for a Little Mike..ian royal family to rule over them. Do you foresee any plans to address this concern? [u]Rage McKill:[/u] "A royal.. what?" [u]Me:[/u] "A royal family, a Monarchistic government wherein the ruler is determined by hereditary means." [u]Rage McKill:[/u] "That is the most reta- Why would you want that? I don't.. Did we put something in the food? Do we still have food..?" [u]Me:[/u] "Perhaps. Do you see the Doomhouse bloc winning the current conflict?" [u]Rage McKill:[/u] [mocking tone] "I guess it'll depend on how the victory is defined." [u]Me:[/u] "..I take it we're done?" [u]Rage McKill:[/u] "Yes. Go report it or something. Why do I even do these?" ###### Well, that was about as fruitful as these press conferences go. I got up and began walking down the red plush. "Hold up there." I turned around. Rage stared from the podium. "How good are you with a motorcycle?"

[center][img]http://images.wikia.com/cybernations/images/d/db/GOONS_Ride_To_War.jpg[/img] [b][u]For the Sake of Violently Hitting Things.[/u][/b][/center] (CrushMaim Weekly) Burger Town, Little Mikes - 03/21/2011 - Across the nation of Little Mikes, echoes of discontent ripple through the population. With the conflict entering its second month, citizens have begun questioning the motives of their new leader, Rage McKill. Things haven't quite been the same at Little Mikes, not since he seized management and transformed the burgeoning fast food restaurant into a sovereign nation of war. People wander the streets, scavenging for food. Meanwhile, ruined skeletons of old buildings are bulldozed and immediately replaced with prefabricated complexes, serving functions no one understands. Questions often arise regarding the source of the soldiers frequently seen moving through the countryside to the war zone. "Everyone already knows about the, uh, odd recruiting practices of McKill's government." comments Paul Triplebacon, who has a 9 year old daughter currently serving as a tank gunner. "But the numbers don't add up. We've lost two hundred thousand young men and women to this damn war, and I doubt our total population has even been a tenth of that." Paul gestures outside the window, "Not to mention that thing out there." referring to the perfect replica of the Harimandir Sahib Temple in the middle of the city, "That was literally a synagogue a week ago." On the street below, trucks full of soldiers motor past a monument dedicated to a nuclear attack on that location. "And where does he keep getting these soldiers?!" Paul sighs, "I just don't know, anymore." The exact workings of Rage McKill's administration remains in large part a mystery. Government members stopped for questioning give strange responses, usually praising the current month's sanctioned religion or recommending a burger to eat. One even admitted that he was unsure what was his exact function was. Observers note that most of Little Mikes 126 public officials meet in the backroom of the original restaurant, despite the maximum occupancy for the building being 85 persons. Last week, Rage McKill released a statement declaring all NPO statements to be objectively terrible in every way, shape, and form. Public response was mixed, with most wondering what an NPO was. "He keeps going on and on about these 'GOONS'." comments Paul. "To be honest, they sound like complete [i][REDACTED][/i]."

If I didn't know any better, I'd swear this news source was biased in favor of some faction.

[quote name='Dan100' timestamp='1299132991' post='2650893'] Who said that your going to win the war [/quote] All of your allies, pretty much. And some NPO, too!

I'll be honest, here. Throughout this war I have sampled a decent variety of nations from the large spectrum of alliances available, and I have to say Olympus and NAC nations fought hardest. It's a little strange to see NPO wigs stand on a box and claim that their allies --who came to their aid and honored their treaties when they knew they would not win-- didn't sacrifice enough of their members for NPO. This is of course while NPO sits in peace mode, sacrificing nothing but taxes.

Boy, this thread has taught me alot! [b]GOONS[/b]: [list] [*]have poor warchests [*]cannot coordinate [*]are outnumbered [*]own terrible wonders [*]have lame allies [*]direct an awful war strategy [*]are being attacked by nuke rogues [/list] Hahaha wow that's quite the list there! I mean, it'd be really embarrassing if GOONS won the war for some reason, right? [size="3"] [i]Riiiighht?[/i][/size]

beep beep here come the GOOOOOOONNNNSSS [img]http://i54.tinypic.com/2igdpb4.jpg[/img]

Posting this one for someone else. Wafagan of North American Confederacy surrenders to Kierrie of GOONS. http://www.cybernations.net/nation_drill_display.asp?Nation_ID=412807 [img]http://oi52.tinypic.com/125n7g5.jpg[/img]

[quote name='Rotavele' timestamp='1297059514' post='2623621'] Never knew you guys knocked 500,000 NS off legion, Couldnt have been CnG, No never. it was all GOONS [/quote] Stats were taken before CnG blitz.

"A declaration on the Doomhouse front?" [draws a line to GOONS]