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Captain Enema

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  1. Feng Ficai nibbles on the reindeer jerky and says, "Not all that bad, send this delightful lady a case of our best rice wine. Not that vile crap we pass off to the tourists either, but the really good stuff. " A case of high quality rice wine is presented to the representative from Cyneriice Northan with a note from Feng Ficai stating, "Our thanks for the lovely gift, please feel free to visit at anytime."
  2. The Citizen's Association of Guangxi Bang Po Feng Zicai steps up to the microphone and taps it twice. He scans the crowd for a brief minute before saying, "Hello, and thank you all for taking the time to join us here in our newly established capitol of Bang Po. First, allow me to direct your attention to the rear. You'll see a well appointed table of some of our finer dishes and drinks. After this brief speech I'd be delighted if you all take the time to join us for an informal dinner. If you aren't used to spicy foods please inform one of the attendants and they'll direct your attention to the non-spicy selections." Feng Zicai beems for a brief moment at the crowd before resuming as he says, "Guangxi is a gift to us here as for the first time by the permission of the Kingdom of Cochin we are allowed self-rule. My deepest gratitude to the Kingdom of Cochin for allowing this dream to come true. Let it be known the Kingdom of Cochin will always be welcome here. Our one port is open for their ships at anytime for refueling, victualing, and repairs at cost. This is a testament to their humane treatment of all of us during their time as our protectors." "Guangxi is also a very informal government. I'm the newly appointed administrator and it is my job to serve as the head of government. We believe in a government that is close to the people in order to serve the needs of the people. We will be effecting a very decentralized government with certain centralized offices for the express purpose of overseeing defense, foreign affairs, and other international matters," he elaborates. "Don't let me bore you too much with the details, but let it be known the people of Guangxi welcome all who come in peace and will fight to the death against those who don't. More details will be provided in the reconstruction of our infrastructure and economy later. Now please no more blathering from me to ruin this fine day, enjoy the food and drink," he finishes. Capitol: Bang Po Government: Democracy-ish Population: 14,000 Ethnicity: Zhuang Head of State: Feng Zicai Military: None Police: Border Patrol (Mounted), Bang Po Federal Police, National Police Force, Regional Police Units Total- 800 plus reserves of 600 more Religion: Animist Language: Vahcuengh-Bouxcuengh Important Information (hand out with graphs, pictures, and such: In Modern Times the Zhuang have suffered greatly under the yoke of the Nationalists an the Japanese. Together with neighboring Guangdong, Guangxi became an area of Sun Yat-sen Nationalist revolution. With the fall of the Qing, the Zhuang sent representatives to the central government to campaign for Guangxi autonomy, but when years of protocol failed, the "Guangxi Clique" turned to open revolt in 1927. Maintaining a defiant self-rule stance for two years, the Zhuang leaders of Li Tsung-jen and Li Chi-shen modernized Guangxi, but Chiang Kai-shek ruthlessly crushed their revolt in 1929. Despite the Clique's failure, Chiang could not put Guangxi under direct provincial rule, and it remained unruly until 1950. The Kuomintang's suppression of Guangxi led to widespread support of Communism. During World War II Guangxi was a major target of Japanese attacks, as they invaded the coast in 1939. The famous patriotic newspaper National Salvation Daily was printed at Guilin. In 1944, the Japanese launched a major offensive to take the western half of Guangxi, but with relentless Zhuang guerrillas, the Japanese were routed. Today we Zhuang, eke out our existence through farming and coastal fishing. Much of our efforts will be to roll back the damage that has been inflicted on the land over the years. Most large cities will be razed to the ground to make way for smaller more environmentally friendlier communities. We have no desire to join the ranks of nations that are an eyesore upon the world. We wish to leave in harmony with our natural surroundings. etc.. etc. Feng Ficai stands off to the side waiting to answer questions as he sips on a Tsigntao beer.
  3. That Republic of Cochin protectorate above what is Vietnam is mine, by agreement with Kingdom of Cochin. Thank you, - Tidy Bowl Man
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