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Captain Enema

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  3. Captain Enema
    I've spent the last five years being a degenerate living in China. A degenerate who has laughingly called himself an English Language Teaching Professional. In December, I'm going to be moving back to 'Murika and getting a McJob. I'll even have a quaint little stall in the barn to lay down my weary head at night after selling my soul to corporate 'Murika.
    With any luck I'll have coworkers who stoutly believe slaughtering little brown folks half way around the world somehow makes 'Murika a safer place. They'll also tell me that socialism and communists run the world. Rand Paul really is somehow a nice guy. And Leroy Jenkins or something.
    I'll once again be able to visit the 'Murikan Behavioral Experimentation and Stupidification Laboratory (walmart) and observe the byproducts of five generaitons of more of incest and/or bestiality at work.
    I serve as a moderator on /r/tefl on reddit, which takes up roughly 10 seconds of my time a day. 8 of those seconds usually involves me calling someone a few filthy names. I mean really, if you are going to be a moderator why not abuse your position and be a dick? It gives me something to do.
    I know a few of you little peckerwoods are thinking of moving to some rattarsed little hovel halfway around the world to sate your desire to finally for the first time have sexual relations. Others are suddenly realizing the 4.5 years and thousands of dollars you invested in your liberal arts major would have been better spent peddling yourself to strange sweaty fat men on a street corner. Some of you are chronic losers who couldn't hold a job in 'Murika if your life depended on it.
    I say this to you.
    Teaching English in a foreign land is not for everyone and neither is living in a foreign land for everyone.
    also, donuts.
    any and all questions may or may not be answered, got some serious drinking to do before my evening classes.
    Ciao.
  4. Captain Enema

    Stieg Larson

    By Captain Enema,

    Back when the Forite Order of Raiding and Anarchy was busy pile driving a bunch of yokels into oblivion we discovered two very important things.
    Sajassbie the alliance is alright and we are still good friends to this day.
    The Moralist Front were/are some of the biggest OWF bandits in Cybernations. I think we Forites got threatened with rape and disfigurement about 389 times by those silly geese and they never once the delivered.
    The only one who even bothered was that Damsky guy and I was well on my way to getting the upper hand on him when he went bonkers and declared on half of planet bob in our duel.
    Turns out he wasn't even a member of TMF. Mainly I miss the Moralist fellahs because I dearly wanted to raid them and watch them scream all over the OWF about the inhumanity of me killing their e-pixels and me violating their e-rights to not have their pixels badly violated.
    I really wanted to violate them. I wanted to violate them badly. I wanted to make them bleed tears of bloody violation. The violations I hoped for were so vile that the continuing v alliteration causes me to get verbose on a violently vicious level.
    Yeah baby, I wanted to get violent on their behinds and I wanted to make them like it.

    Now look, I'm all for sovereignty in this game, but good lord how can a degenerate like me pass up the chance to reap delicious tears of rage with a few simple clicks of my mouse?
    Logic has absolutely nothing to do with my position.
    It is illogical and morally wrong to act in a matter that deliberately and maliciously outrages someone. Though I'm of the belief that anyone who takes the internet so seriously that it leaves them dribbling tears of rage all over their keyboard ought to be taken out back and spanked with their monitor cable.
    Well, the title of my blog is Hookers and Blow.. I think we all know I'm a bit short in the morals department and given I sometimes wear superman underpants to the gym I think we can all say I'm a bit illogical as well.
    So you moralist types keep up the good work. Planet Bob would completely suck if we didn't have you around to shriek and howl about those e-pixels and such.
    Oh yeah, I just finished reading the Millennium Trilogy by Stieg Larson. Damn fine reading that, damn fine.
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