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About Claude

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    the destroyer

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  1. Freedom Really A Novel Zinger Preamble In the year of our Doomtender of 2019, we find ourselves at an impasse. Nobody wants to make the first move, shuffling their feet and averting their gaze as if they are at Jazzy's school disco. Little did we know that a nefarious individual had already come up with a most ingenious plan. They were going to get the party kicking, not with some lame formal gesture, but by spiking the punch with Tenochtitlan branded tequila. After this happened, people fell about the place, doing such unspeakable acts that we can't repeat them here, but can in private. Naturally, this gave us cause to go up their and confront this potential threat and deal with them in the most unexpected of ways. We offered them our hand, and they reciprocated with a fist bump. Now we are brothers! Article 1 The first matter we agreed on was that while we both like to boogie to the beats of MC Rey who honestly isn't that Great, we couldn't get too rowdy while dancing. As a result we came to the mutual agreement that as eskimo brothers, that we would not harm the other and that nothing would get in our way. Article 2 Here is the four one one folks. Say some gangster is dissing your fly girl, you just give them a good bottling in order to get them back into line. The gangster that is, after all we AREN'T called Bill or whatever. Article 3 Noting the importance of a clear and concise message, we disregard those notions. Instead, both parties have agreed that clear communication and coordination is essential in maintaining the balance of a healthy business relationship. We might do it through Private Message, we might do it via Discord, we might do it via IRC, we might do it via the back passage. Who knows, but we can double stack the matter and provide information to the other party if we discover information which might be detrimental to both entities. This could be if someone makes a threat, if someone makes a thread, if someone wanted to spy, if somebody wanted to fry or if someone wanted to blackmail us over photos of Claude again. We are watching you, brick wall! Article 4 CLAWS shall erect a full-size replica statue of Steeldor within Randalla. Article 5 There may come a time where we need to place a hit on someone or crash a party we have not been invited to. Fear not, but with the power of the Steeldor, they won't be able to object or complain. Hide your wives, hide your girlfriends, hide your polygraph machines, we may be coming to town if we can agree on a time or date because you know... we can't simply cancel on that White Chocolate tasting session. Article 6 We reserve the right to a fair and unequal economical relationship when it comes to fiscal aid, may it be through cash, aid, hookers or nukes. Article 7 If it turns out that somebody acted in a way or a manner that made us feel bad, now that's pretty bad! For after all, those are our feelings, and nobody has the right to break those if we don't want them to. So, first we would say to the other party "No" and then we'd get out of there after the 72 hour deadline had elapsed. Article 8 It was brought to our attention that dying tickles and that the span has declined in the past few years, so we reserve the right to an external audit whenever it is deemed worthwhile. Signatures For CLAWS Co-leaders: White Chocolate & Jazzy Grand Inquisitor: Randalla Minister of Defense: AL Bundy Minister of Economics: jazzy Minister of Foreign Affairs: Claude Minister of Internal Affairs: Magical Muslim For Doombird Doomcave Lord Emperor: Steeldor
  2. FTW: DM, how much damage did it do to my companion? DM: 1. Argent: Only? I thought it took a few swings? DM: It tried. It has a -3 attack and no weapons proficiency. Only one hit actually landed. CLAWS: Maybe we can befriend it. Is it cute? DM: It had a charisma of 6. It's pretty ugly. CLAWS: Nevermind. Let's kill it FTW: No, let's just teach it a lesson and let it go. Legion: Do you think it'll learn? FTW: I'm feeling generous. I hit the goblin with the flat side of my blade and say, "I'm feeling nice, so don't come back, okay?" DM: The goblin's constitution is pretty weak, and it squeals and nods, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," sobbing, and runs off. FTW: OK, we're done here. Let's go. DM: A few minutes later, the goblin returns with two snarling friends. FTW: I thought we had an agreement? DM: They don't understand. Argent: I cast tongues and explain that we don't want to hurt them. DM: They don't understand. Argent: Why not? DM: -5 Intelligence modifier. GATO: But I've never met creatures with so many negative modifiers... Maybe we don't have to... DM: Too bad. They rolled a 6 Wisdom check and decided to attack. Legion: How are you rolling so poorly? DM: I didn't. I rolled an 11. They have -5 wisdom. Anyway, in spite of your forgiveness and attempt to let them go unharmed, they charge blindly at FTW. Roll For Initiative
  3. I knew you'd come back for more spankings.😉
  4. CLAWS-Argent MDoAP Dragon’s Claw Preamble: Things. Article I: In its Grasp Argent and CLAWS agree to play a game together. Both alliances shall respect the cards in each other’s hand, and will respect the strategies employed by the other. Article II: Mana Cost Both players are aware of the mana required to perform actions, and shall refrain from attacking actions against each other to preserve mana and friendship. Article III: Triggered! The ability of this card will be triggered should either player be attacked. "When" one signatory declares war, the other may choose to activate this and enter alongside them. Article IV: Uncommon Rarity A friendship of this magnitude is uncommon. Both players agree to protect the interests of the other and to maintain open channels of communication. Spying on one another shall not be permitted, and both alliances will share information should they learn of threats against the other. Article V: Dragon’s Claw “If there is a fire that never ceases to burn, it surely lies in the maw of a dragon.” -Sarkhan Vol Should the love between Argent and CLAWS cease to burn, A week notice is required to cancel this treaty. __ Signed for Argent, The Great and Powerful Emperor of Argent - Lowsten Regent - trimm Minister of Internal Affairs - IMP REBS Minister of War - Gingervites Minister of Finance - KiWi Minister of Communications - Janax Signed for CLAWS, Co-leaders: White Chocolate & Jazzy95 Grand Inquisitor: Randalla Minister of Defense: Daeg Minister of Economics: Jazzy95 Minister of Foreign Affairs: Claude Minister of Internal Affairs: Magical Muslim
  5. legum servi sumus ut liberi esse possimus

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