Jump to content

BloodFury

Banned
  • Posts

    1,182
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by BloodFury

  1. In a dark lit bunker deep within Bear Force One territory, the clinking of a typewriter can be heard echoing over the sounds of bombs going off outside. Sitting in a lone room is the dashing Major Fairy, aka Wannabe Chuck Norris, aka El Presidente, Lobster. Taking a moment to review his notes, he scans over them before dictating to himself while typing. "It is Penetration Day +4. I have taken a small break from commanding the forces on my front of the battle to write this document, our memoirs. Our forces have dished out twice the damage than they have received, and our ranks have swelled with new recruits. While we are strong and determined in our mission, one of justice and revenge, we know deep down in our hearts that eventually our brave soldiers fighting and dying on the front will be overwhelmed. Eventually our radio towers will be brought down and we will be cut off from each other, surrounded. But we do not have fear of this, for we have trained carrier pigeons in the months that brought us up to this point for just such an occasion. My personal favorites name is Pudding. I have high hopes that she will live through this war, and go onto a peaceful place after all the dust is settled. It would be a grave lose to all pigeon kind of she were to die doing her mission." Leans back from the typewriter and lights a cigarette. He thinks back on all the friends they have lost over time, gone from this world, never to return. He knows that we are fighting this fight for them. He crouches back over the typewriter and begins to type again. "While we are doing our part to finally exterminate the Polar Bear, which is an endangered species, we have found ourselves watching as these cowards have begun to throw wave after wave of penguins at us. They are a curious species the penguin, they move fast while sliding down the ice, and can navigate the waters with an elegant grace that surpasses us simple humans. But it seems someone forgot to tell them that it was summer, and we have watched them hit our beaches and lose all momentum. They waddle en mass into our machine gun fire and fall in great droves. I think tonight, we are going to send people out to gather up some of the dead so we can have a feast, and make ourselves some penguin skin hats to wear." Taking a quick drag of his cigarette, he puts it out in the ash tray next to him before resuming the tip tapping of keys on the typewriter. "They will soon realize that it will take more than what they have thrown at us, and will throw at us to defeat us. Among our ranks are the Sunny Side King, glorious flipper of the pan to create us our morning eggs. When cornered, he can become quite dangerous with his cooking pan. We have Weenie, who doesn't liked to be called small. He can get very angry, and when he does he turns into a purple monster that grows from his normal five foot four inches, to five foot four and a half inches(the color change is largely because he stops breathing, and the height change is from standing on his tippy toes.) The next on our line up is Stewie, the megalomaniac genius with a football shaped head. Despite all his best attempts to deny so, I still strongly believe that he is a Welshman. There just isn't enough evidence to prove other wise. We also have Boogeyman. He is the master of a unique martial arts style called trout slapping. He adorns his soldiers in shirts of pugs, and often has sitting on his lap a pug with a wig on his head. When caught in one on one combat, he will not be afraid to use his trout's to slap you silly. The next on our team is someone Nobody would Expect. We have the entire Spanish Inquisition on our side. Among their weapons are such elements as fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and almost fanatical devotion to the pope. They also have nice red uniforms. We also have a young lad named Hatchet Harry, he means good, but more times than not, he ends up hitting his own allies with his plastic hatchets that he throws around like an angry child. Resuming our roster, we also have Trigar, who thinks he is a "SuPah1337KiLLah". We are unsure what exactly that is as we are not well versed in this language that he uses from time to time, but we are almost positive that it is a made up language by him so he can confuse his enemies. An oddity that we have acquired is Lord Caparo. He is a former Formula One driver turned revolutionary after a serious accident on the race track where he killed an innocent turtle. He is forever haunted by this day. Last but not least, we have Micheal Malone and alterego. All we know of these two is that Michael Malone lives in a world created in his own mind called Malonia, and that alterego has taken up residence in a swamp, which is a similar habit that an ogre would do." Squinting his eyes he looked over the paper to make sure everything was in order. He scanned the page slowly as to catch any mistakes he might have made. Satisfied with his work he resumed. "I know my name will be lost to history so it will be quite alright to omit myself from this document." "So as Operation Penetration continues we remain resolute in our mission. Our men stand fast, hard and at attention, fully lubed, and ready to go as we begin to draw near to Operation Penetration Day +5."
  2. Let him, it would just prove Polaris needed to call others in. ;)
  3. Are you mentally handicapped, or just plain dumb?
  4. Out of all the fish, you picked a Trout. :pug:
  5. The El Presidente, Lobster supports these honorable and benevolent terms from BF1 to Polaris.
  6. So he was on our AA before we attacked? What of it? Happens all the time. You really are stupid aren't you?
  7. You can call me, El Presidente, Lobster.
  8. 1,097 posts 1 warning points Nation Name:Blutte Wolf Alliance Name:Goon Order of Neutral Shoving Oh shit, guess I must be in Goon Order of Neutral Shoving and not BF1, you caught us all.
  9. I'm just making shit up as I go in a sleep deprived state most of the time. ;) I really just don't care to be prim or proper or play by anyone else's rules beside my own.
  10. I'm sorry to inform you, no one cares what you say.
  11. His Midol prescription must have run out.
  12. It really is cute how much of a try hard you are. "I am the Almighty Maggot, fear me for I have done much in CN like fucking over the alliance I am in charge of." Last I checked there are still other nations, you cry over one nation, boo fucking hoo. There are ten of us, with open slots. What is taking so long? I am a coat tail rider? Last I checked I wasn't very well liked myself by people on all sides of the web, because instead of sucking dick like you tend to do I do whatever pleases me at the moment. I don't really care if I accomplished much in the eyes of you, I accomplished my own things I wanted to do. However, I am enjoying the fact that you are so angry over this and that you pretend that you are fine with this by going. "Oh I enjoy this." We can all see how angry you are, you have been angry from the get go. So please, continue to froth at the mouth.
  13. I would trade Mogar for some primordial ooze.
  14. I am having fun, doesn't mean I can't call your members cowards as well. Call a fowl by any other name and it is still a chicken.
  15. Don't do that too much, people might catch on that you are actually handicapped. Lets talk about how little you actually know. Perhaps you should have taken the opportunity to have one guy hit before update, and one after instead of attempting so hard to get in a few weak attacks against an opponent was active. The real damage will be done by nukes, not by failed attacks against his nation just after he attacked you. You should have properly staggered him. You were just gun happy and jumped in too fast. Go back and sit in the corner, your time came and went with NAAC, you have been nothing but a washed up fool since then, you are more of a plague to your alliance than a help. Suck it bitch. Butt hurt much are we? So what you are really saying is you are a pussy.
  16. I don't think its his responsibility to see how many war slots are used up on a nation, perhaps you shouldn't have blown your wad so early.
  17. Boys, boys, boys, give me summer time love, give me summer time love.
  18. Kashmir, faster response time than Polaris.
  19. Far too long when you have been here longer than that.
  20. Casualties for the Casualty God, Pixels for the Pixel Throne!
×
×
  • Create New...