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And lo, here we are again


Xiao Weng

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[center][img]http://img355.imageshack.us/img355/8463/brain04ys8.jpg[/img]

[IMG]http://store01.prostores.com/myhome-n-health/catalog/Drive_Mini_Phantom-Scooter.jpg[/IMG]

[i]Then another horse came out, a fiery red one. Its rider was given power to take peace from the earth and to make men slay each other. To him was given a large sword.[/i][/center]

[i]Our freshly shorn lawns.
Pristine, untouched by ne'er-do-well's.
Our porch swings, bathed in the rising sun.
Our glass pitchers, filled to the brim with tangy lemonade.
[b][u]Our mint julep[/u][/b].[/i]

These are the things every being on Digiterra has a right to. These are the things that were to be taken, and these were the things that we felt compelled to defend - not only for us, but for all people.

And so we did.

We fought you on the lawns, and the parking lots.
We fought you in the buffet lines, and at the Senior's Day at the movie theater.
We fought you in the parks, and in our handicap spaces.
With our canes, and our motorized scooters, and our false teeth,
We chased you from our yards. Or perhaps yours, my memory is fuzzy.
Either way, it is done, and these must be said:

Our terms are firm, but fair.

[b]Term the First:[/b] An image of the Beforetime, when the war had not yet graced our shores. A fresh lawn, lovingly cared for, unsullied by hooligans.

[b]Term the Second:[/b] Your five most powerful nations - along with your leaders - will send a haiku to the five most powerful nations of the alliance you attacked - along with [i]their[/i] leaders - about the dangers of ne'er-do-wells. If your or their leaders are included in the 'most powerful' tally, then congratulations! That is one less haiku you have to write. If you wish to present your work here in a public forum and then direct your foes here, that is also acceptable.

[b]Term the Third:[/b] One palletized shipment of Metamusil. Fiber intake is important for digestive health, and its value cannot be underestimated. You may leave an image of its location so we may send our orderlies to pick it up. We would do this ourselves, but Bingo is at four, and the drink cart opens in a half hour.

[b]Term the Fourth:[/b] As always, you must agree to not re-enter this conflict against us. Current conflicts between members will cease by the witching hour, when our people return to the world refreshed and ready to pay our exorbitant social service taxes. We will ensure our people withdraw, and if any attacks occur beyond the demilitarization date - a penalty of $3,000,000 and 50 tech [b]per action[/b] will be assessed. To show our good faith, we will hold ourselves to this same standard.

Go now, and war no-what, there's something [i]else[/i]? Very well.

[b]Term the Fifth:[/b] Because of the extended conflict, restitution must be made. We demand a payment of 40,000 techno or other electronica beats, plump upon our plates, 10,000 of which [i]must[/i] come from Daft Punk(who, I am told, do it harder, better, faster, and stronger). As there is something akin to 5,000 beats per one of these tunes, we feel you will array only the finest eight compilations to grace our palette. A link to them via the global information system will do - I believe Mabel said she had a cassette recorder and we can make a mix tape from there.

[IMG]http://lastheplace.com/images/article-images/2007_Writers/Candice/AvenueQ/Kate-Monster-and-Kelli-Sawy.jpg[/IMG]
[i]A mix tape! They made a mix tape![/i]


[b]NOW.[/b] As I was saying, go forth, and war with us no longer.

[i]Signed for The Brain:
mr3looc - Brainy Guy
Shane-o - Pickled Beet
Every Neuron - Seriously, every one

Signed for the League of Small Superpowers:
Co God Ben, Triumvir
Desert Ratz, Triumvir
chels, Minister of Foreign Affairs
Phoebus, Minister of Internal Affairs
legion-x, Minister of Defense
Alekhine, Minister of Economics
Demag, Minister of Education
Slade, Senator
Asmodeus, Senator
Neuronia, Senator
DDolla, Senator
Moufassa, Senator [/i]

[b]What this means to the rest of you:[/b]

We went to war to support our good friends in the Commonwealth. We feel we have done so in a fine manner - We attacked our foes with great abandon, land was traded, nukes were exchanged (and receipts lost), and in the end we find that our purpose was fulfilled.

The Brain was an aggressor in this fight. Our Neurons were charged with testosterone, our Pons with adrenaline, and our Lobes with ketamine. We aren't sure where we got it, but we charged our Lobes with it, yessir! To keep a likely long story short(I kid, I kid, I take every opportunity to be long-winded), we fought, we gave as good as we got, and we feel our point has been made. We of the Brain offer these terms to the League of Small Superpowers, and in their grace they have accepted.

[b]To the League of Small Superpowers[/b], I extend my personal gratitude and kudos on a battle well fought. As wars go, this one was the most civil I'd ever participated in. Certainly, I received far more in nuclear gifts than I gave out, but I have never denied my miserly nature. Only the colorblindness.

Truly. The color red. It is...difficult. Next time I'll simply [i]label[/i] the button.

[b]To the Commonwealth of Sovereign Nations[/b], we feel our point has been made. Solidarity has been offered. We ask for nothing in return for it, for that is not the way of friends. We of the Brain can only think (and engage me to say, those suckers) the best of you, wish the best in future engagements, and stress moderation in all things that are not directly related to a fine cocktail after a long day. A weekend of diplomacy involving a cooler of beer, a barbecue, and a pack of cards can solve any dispute; if it cannot then your foes are simply [i]not human[/i].

[b]To onlookers, detractors and supporters alike[/b], I bid you a good evening the only way I know how:

[i]At end of day,
with ash like snow,
to light your way,
The H-bombs glow.[/i]

Good night, and good fight, Digiterra.

[i]edit: I can close my tags. Really, I can![/i]

Edited by Xiao Weng
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QUESTION: Can allies of LoSS send beats? Think of the children.

Fair terms, great peace, and there's a message with heart, deep inside.

This is The Brain comin' at you with music and fun,
and if you're not careful you may learn something before it's done.
So let's get ready, OK? Hey, hey, hey!

[img]http://www.retrojunk.com/img/art-images/fat_albert_gang.jpg[/img]

[i][size="7"]NAH NAH NAH GONNA HAVE A GOOD TIME![/size][/i]

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