Kaiser Gutenhagen Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 An Announcement for Explaining to you the Purpose of the Existing of North Korea Greeting, my name are Park Hwang-Bo. North Korea persons tire greatly in perfecting the language of the English language. We are work very hard to speak in the tongue of capitalist scum so that you may be understand our great message of yearning. But for the purpose of speaking with spoken clarity of tongue, I are hire an British writist to write the following great message of you. As many of you know, North Korea wields the strongest and most powerful military in the history of everything. Even more powerful than the army that woman from 17 Kids and Counting is spewing out. The above diagram shows a completely true and definitely not found online by my brother nuke cannon. It was developed in North Korea, much like the airplane, broccolli and Jesus, and can fire shells approximately 14,000,000,000 miles with explosions the size of Jabba The Hut's rear. We keep them in macroscopic magnetic laser shields of futuristicism, which our leading scientist, Han Solo, invented last year. Unless you send us aid and oil, we will use these weapons on wherever we please. Our Dear Leader, Kim Jong-Il, announced the other day that with his intellect and strength, he will bring the Moon to North Korea, where it was originally built. We will strap five proton-powered super-kung fu rockets to the Moon and simply tug it back home. At the press conference logs shown below, we see he cleared any issues the foolish American press were having with his glorious idea. *Rabble rabble rabble* Reporter: "Mr. Kim, do you really thing North Korea should be using foreign aid on such a foolish enterprise?" Kim Jong-Il: "Considering the Moon is made of cheese, I'm certain our people will have plenty of food after we return it to North Korea" Reporter: "Don't you think that removing the Moon from orbit will distrupt the tide?" Kim Jong-Il: "Everyone knows that the tide is controlled by me, so I think not." The Americans are so backward in their knowledge of science. We would pity them, if not for their capitalist ways, which we must purge the World of. "Children playing dress-up, snap the necks of big-nosed American soldiers" And without further adeiu, I give you the charter of Nutty North Koreans: Nutty North Koreans enters this World to be a cheap and less-funny rip-off of Pissed Off Puerto Rican. Article I: Entrance: No immigrants are allowed into North Korean borders under any circumstances, unless they have gifts of wine and lobster for Kim Jong-Il. Furthermore, no citizens are ever allowed to leave, or they will be hunted down and shot. Article II: Government: Kim Jong-Il This familiar chubby little fellow in the track suit is leader of this whole crapshack. He spends most evenings watching Will & Grace with a tub of icecream, while most of his population dies each day. And if anyone questions him, they get killed. It's a good system. Not Kim Jong-Il No one cares Article III: Treaty Signing and Cancellation If we sign a treaty with your alliance, we won't uphold it. We'll also quite likely conduct espionage inside your alliance. When we cancel a treaty, we never tell you, because no one in North Korea knows the word "cancel".. It's quite inconvenient. But here are the signs for you to look out for if North Korea has cancelled its treaty with you: 1. Your forums will be spammed with gross links 2. Your IRC channel will be spammed with gross links 3. Your Private Message Inbox will be spammed with gross links Article IV: Elections Couping The only way to get rid of Kim Jong-Il is to coup him. You can do this the following ways: 1. Attack his nation 2. Follow the "Treaty Cancellation" method 3. Take a dump in his bed Article V: Question and Answer: Q: Is this just an attempt to get attention when people are focused on the current war? A: Yes Q: Are you actually trying to be funny? A: Yes Q: Well, you're not funny A: ...I know Q: Do you expect people to love your alliance and post comments about how much they "Lol'd" at your post?" A: Well, I was hopin- Q: You're freaking stupid. No one thinks some rip-off from an alliance that has probably been pretty much forgotten is funny. And this isn't even a good rip-off. It's about as funny as Family Channel. A: Awww... Our forums haven't been made. Our IRC channel hasn't been made. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
extraduty Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 No reason why, but I like you KG. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dwthegreat Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 This will end well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nippy Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 Funny DoE, although that alliance name kind of sucks. Good luck on your current incarnation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Xander the Only Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 This was a lot better the first time around. I can only hope my leaders have the style to smack you around once more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KenDeSolei514 Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 erm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strykewolf Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 Welcome to the squirrel cage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
President Chris Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 This sure be funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Believland Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 KG, you deliver. Also you still owe me tech. So pay it up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farore Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 (edited) I presume you'll be having a new alliance with a new theme in not too long, right? EDIT: A good read and its nice reading something different then the whole TPF affair. Edited December 30, 2009 by Farore Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deaftrav Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 p.s. 18 kids and counting, one to pop out soon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas Jackson Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 God bless you and your bizarre ways, Kaiser. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trigger Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 Finally... after all the supposedly humorous threads that have been started. Finally someone made me smile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alonois Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 I know not who you are, good sir, but I like the cut of your jibe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crushtania Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 Death to the imperialist aggressors o/ The supremacy of Juche ideal! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flak attack Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 Well done good sir. I do have to point out one thing, however. If this is what I think it is, it's Chinese, not Korean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezequiel Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 Haha, very classy Kaiser. Nice read, keep it up please. Ezequiel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ketther Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 Well done good sir.I do have to point out one thing, however. If this is what I think it is, it's Chinese, not Korean. I think he DEFINITELY said it was not taken from the internetz, so you are clearly wrong sir. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omniscient1 Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 (edited) Many Lulz I thought you were dead since you never came in your own IRC channel anymore edit: I spell worse than the Koreans Edited December 30, 2009 by Omniscient1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demosthenes Locke Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 This left me in stitches in my chair. Good to know that people appreciate humor around here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flak attack Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 I think he DEFINITELY said it was not taken from the internetz, so you are clearly wrong sir. Of course it's not from the internet. It's from China. Didn't you read what I posted? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 Nice try Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mathias Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 You seem to have forgotten that Planet Bob is serious business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wickedj Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 This thread needs more about TPF's allies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sup4l33t3ki11a Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 (edited) **Sup4l33t3ki11a wondered if he was the only person who actually felt more than slightly offended whilst reading this....** Brilliant political move . Edited December 30, 2009 by Sup4l33t3ki11a Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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