A little drama from OSA and SNAFU

[Nolissar]

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to opening night of "A Comedy of System Errors" brought to you by the combined theatrical troops of SNAFU and the Open Source Alliance!

We would like to remind all patrons that talking, coughing, flash photography and the use of mobile communication devices are strictly prohibited in the world famous West 49th Street, YMCA auditorium. Those Alliance leaders who might require emergency notification of important goings on during the performance are asked to register with the ushers prior to taking their seats. A selection of delicious refreshments and fine wines will be offered for sale in the lobby during intermission, but all patrons will be patted down to ensure that no eggs, tomatoes or otherwise easily hurled foodstuff find their way into the auditorium.

The managers of the production, The Phoenix Federation and Carpe Diem, would also like to remind all that any poor reviews, death threats or treaty obligations are the sole responsibility of the performers however, if you'd like to show appreciation for the show by sending cash gifts, simply address them to DrunkMonkey or Pyroman and they will ensure the money reaches the intended recipients (minus a slightly usury handling fee).

Thank you for your attention and enjoy the show!

Cue the curtain!

ACT I: "Of Peace and Brotherhood"

The curtain rises on a square beyond the great “Open Door” which marks the entrance to the Realm of Openness, the “Source”, a fountain fed by the purest of streams, stands center stage. Enter Openius, a Gentleperson of OSA and Snafuon a Tech Merchant newly arrived from SNAFU.

SNAFUON

Proceed, Openius, to procure my tech,

And by the clang of coin end woes and all.

OPENIUS

Merchant of old SNAFU, plead no more;

I am not partial to infringe our laws,

Five slots must I at all times employ,

Lest consumed by common otiosity,

Should I my brothers in shame fail.

Our chaffer so concluded Snafusian,

I beseech thee, say in brief the cause

Why thou departed'st from across the divide

To seek audience beyond our open door.

Well known to us, the enmity and discord,

Which anew from rancorous outrages of old,

Hath so poisoned the hearts of noble lords,

What tidings do you this day bring,

Mauve marauder, our hearts to warm?

SNAFUON

A heavier labour has ne’er been imposed

Than to voice our joys uncountable:

Yet, that all may witness that our tie

Is wrought by ardour, not cheap convenience

I'll utter what my fellows give as law.

In the days of old before your forebears,

By bold audacity, did that mighty portal,

From its rusty disused hinges force,

Our and thine wealth were increased,

By prosperous exchanges so often made,

Of precious tech for ready florins.

Form these mercantile endeavours,

Did we a fast brotherhood forge,

A bond which from past to present,

As the steam which yonder fountain feeds,

Hath remained constant and true,

And we, floating obedient to the stream,

Are carried ever towards each other

As autumn arbours’ leaves upon the surface.

Fortune had left to both of us alike,

What to delight in, what to sorrow for,

As though we were one and the same.

At length, a thought had seized on us;

And, knowing whom it was our hap to aid,

Gave healthful welcome to this policy change;

Peace between us, now and forever more,

The heralds of SNAFU doth proclaim.

Know all who would this state affront,

That the meaning of outcast and scorn,

Shall be swiftly to you instructed,

And such damages from our purse repaid,

Shall from traitorous hides be made.

OPENIUS

Happy Snafuon, whom the fates have mark'd

To bear the lofty summit of contentment!

Trust now, shall it be against our laws,

Against our creed, our oath, our dignity,

Which others, would they, may not disannul,

To carry war, aggression or trickery

Unto the shores of thee, faithful friend,

Therefore, merchant, together this day

We join thee in your decree of peace.

Exeunt, Curtain

ACT II: "The Sharing of Information”

Scene 1: A Conspiracy Overheard

The curtain rises on the dinning room of a hotel in Panckograd, the capital and chief city of Atlantica, The room is furnished in a functional style, concrete, moulded plastic and drab colours pervade being the order of the day. Openius, Gentleperson of OSA, sits alone preparing notes for his meetings the next day. Somewhat away, though within earshot of Openius, a shady looking group of locals speak in not quite covered tones.

WHINNEY MARE

…Include him then, for his greying crown,

Will secure us a fair opinion

And buy men's tongues to commend our act:

It shall be said; his counsel ruled our swords;

Our evil cruelty shall no whit appear,

But all be buried in his puissance.

HOWL HOUNDS

Nay, cast his lot not with ours:

let us not break with him;

For to join he shall not deign,

That which other men begin.

BLEAT GOAT

Leave him then out.

SCREECH OWL

Indeed his fitness I question.

GOBBLE TURKEY

Shall no other be punished but Stetson?

BLEAT GOAT

Gobble, well said: I think it not right,

Madam CaVI truly beloved of Stetson,

Should outlive him: for we would find her

A sharp contriver; and, we know her reach,

Should she improve it, might grow far enough

As to frustrate our design: which to prevent,

Let CaVI and Stetson perish together.

A Clock strikes nine

HOWL HOUNDS

Count the hour friends!

BLEAT GOAT

The clock hath stricken nine.

BAH SHEEP

'Tis time to depart.

WHINNEY MARE

Till we meet again in SNAFU

Fortune favour this quest taboo.

The conspirators rise and depart one at a time, paying their bills separately.

OPENIUS

Oh dreadful night, oh fiendish plot!

The fates are afoot this eve,

That I, friend and counsel to Stetson,

Brother of his children in SNAFU,

Should take his draft from the same tap

Which filled the cups of usurpers,

Oh, that it were poisoned!

Then, in death could I have toasted their end!

Swift hemlock have yea fates,

As instrument of justice eschewed,

I pray to thee, coders of yore,

Speed my query to Stetson before,

Barbarous leeches, have thy life subdued.

Openius taps furiously at his iPhone as he leaves an altogether extraordinary tip on the table and rushes out. Curtain.

Scene 2: Thanks and Reciprocity

The curtain rises on the courtyard of the Grand FUBAR's residence; a handsome dog runs playfully among the gardens. Enter Snafuon and Openius from opposite sides.

SNAFUON

Embrace thy brother Openius,

And let me clasp the hand of he,

Who, with selfless disregard,

For the safety of his person,

Did pen the dispatch which,

The life of my liege did preserve.

Faithful friend, forever true,

Together let us gaze upon heads,

Which freshly by the FUBAR's axe,

From their hosts were separated,

And read the proclamation of thanks,

Reciprocity and sharing which today,

Doth he, in appreciation your people offer.

OPENIUS

Well met brother Snafuon,

I thank Torvald for my presence,

In Atlantica that fateful night.

In celebration that the FUBAR's hat

Rests still undisturbed upon his brow,

Let us share that drink, which I left,

Unemptied in my haste to launch Colloquy.

SNAFUON

No dram shall I ever down more happily

Exeunt, Curtain

ACT III: "A Helping Hand"

Scene 1: A Chance Encounter

The Curtain upon the "Old Market" in Realm of Openness, a gleaming arcade of polished steel and glass, with floors of polished marble. Stalls for merchants pedaling all manner of goods line the space. Openius comes upon his old friend Snafuon who is inspecting some trinkets.

OPENIUS

Hail friend! What bringeth my brother,

Spokesman of my land's greatest friend

To my homeland this day, and will he not,

Do me, the humble mouth piece of this realm,

The simple honour of breaking bread,

With me this night and reminisce?

SNAFUON

I am invited, sir, to certain merchants,

Of whom I hope to make much benefit:

I crave your pardon. Soon, at five o'clock,

Please you, I'll meet with you upon the mart.

OPENIUS

Farewell till then: I will go lose myself,

And wander up and down to view the wares.

Exeunt, curtain.

Scene 2: Aid In Times of Need

The curtain rises on the mart, several hours having elapsed. Enter Openius to find a brooding Snafuon.

OPENIUS

Hail brother Snafuon, but low!

Thine eyes and countenance bespeak,

A troubled conscience, a spirit meek,

I pray thee, as friend to friend,

Lay bare those troubles, that

Be it in my power I shall with haste

Seek to put to an end.

SNAFUON

Indeed, my distress you have

With your observant eyes gauged

But my predicament to assuage,

I see not for thee a way.

My credit good sir, have the merchants,

To a man declined, for in these times,

Of universal strife, our foreign friends

My lands banks, with rebuilding aid,

Do fully at present occupy.

OPENIUS

Say you linger'd with me during duress

To see thee now impecuniously distressed,

Pains my heart, and aggrieves my head,

The sending of our money, your bills

To pay, is for the Realm of Openness

For a friend such as thee a small price to pay,

Know this brother, in an hour of need,

Thine part is but for our help to ask,

And on the morrow you shall receive

SNAFUON

What please yourself, sir; I to will swear

To my brother, aid to offer in times

Riddled with strife, fiends of mine shall not

Go without aid in the darkest of hours.

OPENIUS

Let us not be limited to only

Darkened days, but in the happy and

Gleeful times of prosperity in the

Lives of our peoples, each to

The other assistance pecuniary,

Or otherwise to offer.

SNAFUON

With this solemn oath, made by both,

let it be from now on, that the peoples

Of this realm and of SNAFU,

May not go without aid in the best,

Of times and the worst of times.

Huzzah!

Exeunt, Curtain

ACT IV: And So It Shall Be

The Curtain rises on a crowd assembled before a great platform. The FUBAR’s guard, carrying their Fasces precede the wearer of the great wide brimmed hat, and his delegation. Godfather’s, besuited, bespectacled and brass-knuckled penguins march before All Knowing Nolissar and his coder Posse. The two groups meet at the centre of the platform where the delegate exchange warm handshakes and embraces before proceeding to the podium, no doubt long orations to begin. Openius and Snafuon standing in the crowd join in the cheers and jubilation before turning to each other:

OPENIUS

Embrace thy brother here; rejoice with me.

Today is a day for joy; this treaty

Marks the beginning of a solid bond

Which shall stand the many tests the Planet

Of Bob should hand us. This treaty will serve

As testament to the core values on

Which our two, humble alliances were

Founded, and those which we live to protect.

SNAFUON

With the assurance of a steadfast pact,

Fortified by our joint, undying will to

Better not only, own existence,

But brighten the lives of friends with Peace,

Aid, and Intelligence in the great and

Ill moments this confounding world may bring

We, Open Source and SNAFU, will prevail.

We came into this world like brother and brother:

And now let's go hand in hand, not one before another.

Exeunt Openius and Snafuon, the voices of Nolissar and Stetson drone in the background as the curtain falls.

Notice from the Management

This production of a “Comedy of System Errors" opens today and will run until the producers withdraw their backing. The management contract requires that a producer wishing to withdraw their backing for this production, must provide 72 hours notice of that intention to the other producer. In the event of such a withdrawal, the final curtain shall fall with immediate effect upon the completion of the notice period and management shall seek new tenants for the theatre which shall sit dark.

For Open Source Alliance:

His Honour, Nolissar the All-Knowing, President of the OSA, Producer and Playwright

Godfather89, Minister of External Affairs for the OSA, and Executive Producer

cs1177, Parser of the OSA, Associate Producer and Playwright

For SNAFU:

Stetson of Axeland, Grand FUBAR and Producer

Drall of Phyrexia, the Power Behind the Throne and Executive Producer

Madam CaVi of Spehan, Director of Illicit Affairs, and Associate Producer

Sniper620 of Snipetopia, Director of Damage Control and Associate Producer

Hlaine Larkin of Reikland, Director of Making Nations Rich and Associate Producer

President SO of Republic of Austra, Director of Alliance Relations and Associate Producer

==================================================

tl;dr (you know who you are, and you should be ashamed of yourselves for not reading this amazing post!) OSA and SNAFU signed a PIAT, have a nice day.

Edited June 1, 2009 by Nolissar

[Stetson76]

They say that all the world's a stage but we hope that this PIAT shows that the friendship between SNAFU and OSA is not merely the delivered lines of two lively actors, but instead is reality at it's finest.

The founders of OSA spent some time with SNAFU as they finalized the structure of their new venture and we came to realize that these were people of both the highest character and ability. At that time it was decided to keep close with each other even as they started off on their great journey.

Open Source's commitment to providing their members a clear picture of their alliance's operations and to visible government is something we all should respect and try to provide our members.

Today is a day in which we present our camaraderie for the entire world to see. May it never grow old and may the ties that bind us now never fray.

Here's to the Open Source Alliance!

Here's to SNAFU!

Here's to friendship!

Edited June 1, 2009 by Stetson

[Sileath]

Omfg best announcement ever. I love you guys already

[godfather89]

Good to see this finally posted. SNAFU is an excellent alliance and i'm proud to call them allies now.

o/ OSA

o/ SNAFU

[Believland]

I love you SNAFU

[Madam CaVi]

Just awesome!

o/ SNAFU

o/ OSA

[FreddieMercury]

Wow, that's uh, alot of effort you put into that treaty there...

[relyt92]

Possibly the best PIAT i've seen.

[rudekker]

Epic. Completely epic. Utterly and ridiculously epic.

Edited June 1, 2009 by rudekker

[cs1177]

o/ SNAFU

I'm positive our relationship will be nothing but dramatic form now on...in a good way

And yet another unbelievably amazing graphic doo-hickey:

/me didn't know how to make an elizabethan snow cone

[Outremer]

o/ SNAFU and our growing friendship! B)

[DarkEra97]

Congrats to both parties!

o/ to our brothers and sisters in SNAFU

[Nolissar]

o/ SNAFU

I'm positive our relationship will be nothing but dramatic form now on...in a good way

And yet another unbelievably amazing graphic doo-hickey:

/me didn't know how to make an elizabethan snow cone

Once again the Snow Cone wins the thread! How does this man do it!?

[divine proportion]

Greatest. PIAT. Ever.

SNAFU

[President S O]

I am President S O, Director of Alliance Relations for SNAFU, and I approve this message.

you OSA

o/ OSA

o/ SNAFU

o/ To our Future Relations

[Sceptor o Sordidness]

I am in awe. This is pcool B)

[crushtania]

Ever entertaining Nolissar, I stand at your feet and applaud.

Good luck to both OSA and SNAFU.

[Sir Keshav IV]

*Keshav rises from his seat and applauds*

Well written treaty, congrats guys.

[Pyroman]

Congrats to both sides; I love me some SNAFU.

Also, rewrite this, it's not long enough to make all your points

[Joe32320]

Very happy to see this signed, even if the text brings back a few haunted memories , OSA are a great bunch of people! B)

Edited June 1, 2009 by Joe32320

[cheemao]

Holy! Are we supposed to study shakespear?

o/ OSA

o/ SNAFU

o/ the show 'A Comedy of System Errors'

Edited June 1, 2009 by cheemao

[tristram]

o/ SNAFU

o/ OSA

Its amazing to see that over 100 days after the formation of OSA that we are still able to maintain wonderful and beautiful friendships with alliances that have helped us along our way and shown a continual interest in common goals.

Many of time I personally have had the benefit of SNAFU to help me and signing a PIAT is an amazing step.

Hopefully the future brings bigger and better great things.

[Omniscient1]

Congrats to our freinds in OSA

[matasumouri]

This just makes me that much happier to see our ties with SNAFU grow that much closer and stronger

[Hydro]

I hope that as much effort (or more) was put into building up a good relationship between the two of you as was put into this announcement. Good luck.