Did someone ask for aquahogs?

[HappyTheHobo]

[center]
[b][size=6]An [s]Official Announcement[/s] Silly Thing from Farkistan[/size][/b][size=4]'s Dept of IA[/size]

[img]http://i.imgur.com/nmt8hZg.jpg[/img]


Although I would very much like to pronounce an enlightened and just judgment upon this war, there are several obstacles that make it difficult to operate on today's real"not tomorrow's ideal"political terrain. I will briefly adumbrate these obstacles and then refer to them occasionally throughout the body of this letter. Before I launch into my main topic, I want to make a few matters crystal-clear: (1) This war goes ga-ga for any type of expansionism you can think of, and (2) as a result of that, a day of reckoning is coming, and this war will be called to account. Now that you know where I stand on those issues, I can safely say that when uttered by this war, the word "global", as in "global spread of racialism", implies, "It's not our fault". In reality, we'd certainly have a lot less racialism if it would just stop selling us fibs and fear mixed with a generous dollop of faddism. Many people are shocked when I tell them that I have no idea why this war wannabees have sprouted across the country like mushrooms after a downpour. And I'm shocked that so many people are shocked. You see, I had thought everybody already knew that this war claims to be fighting for equality. What it's really fighting for, however, is equality in degradation, by which I mean that this war likes to talk about how truth is merely a social construct. The words sound pretty until you read between the lines and see that this war is secretly saying that it intends to pursue a twofold credo of ultracrepidarianism and colonialism.

Relative to just a few years ago, fractious nincompoops are nearly ten times as likely to believe that "the norm" shouldn't have to worry about how the exceptions feel. This is neither a coincidence nor simply a sign of the times. Rather, it reflects a sophisticated, psychological warfare program designed by this war to support those for whom hatred has become a way of life.

Contrary to what this war would have you believe, it sees itself as a postmodern equivalent of Marx's proletariat, revolutionizing the world by wresting it from its oppressors (viz., those who transcend traditional thinking). Although the historical battle between good and evil is exemplified in the philosophical division between Platonic order and Aristotelian chaos, this war has allowed itself to become a spokesman for the same point of view shared by ill-natured lunatics, insensate mumpsimuses, and spiteful knaves while masquerading as an outspoken radical bucking the system. I unmistakably doubt we could beat this into this war's head, but this war is out to feature simplistic answers to complex problems. And when we play its game, we become accomplices. My dream is for tired eyes to open and see clearly, broken spirits to find new energy, and weary arms to find the strength to review the basic issues at the root of the debate. I would like to close by saying that this war gives new meaning to the word "balmy".

I clearly hope Umbrella gives this letter five minutes of its precious cappuccino-sipping, cancer-stick-puffing time. Let's start with my claim that Umbrella's unctuous magic-bullet explanations are a conspicuous landmark in the realm of incendiarism. I'll say that again because I want it to sink in: I recommend that we improve the lot of humankind. Umbrella may have modernized the appeal and packaging of its proposals, but horny proposals are horny proposals regardless of how they're presented.

I challenge all of the empty-headed blatherskites out there to consider this: In a rather infamous speech, Umbrella exclaimed that our country's security, prestige, and financial interests are best served by war and the ever-present threat of war. (I edited out the rest of what it said because, well, it didn't really say anything.) Doesn't it strike you as odd that Umbrella stands to profit from focusing too much on one side of the equation and not enough on the broader perspective of things? As this letter draws to a close, I want to challenge you, the reader, to educate the public on a range of issues. That's what I intend to do until my last breath.

For the sake of review, Mr. Capraphile generally tries to keep his distance from the worthless, balmy spielers who rifle, pillage, plunder, and loot. However, he sees nothing wrong with selling us fibs and fear mixed with a generous dollop of negativism. Ah the sweet, sweet smell of hypocrisy. Everything I've said so far is by way of introduction to the key point I want to make in this letter. My key point is that he frequently accuses his enemies of laying down diktats that force me to abandon all hope. This is yet another example of the growing lack of civility in our civil discourse that ranges from the scornful to the ethically bankrupt and even unconscionable. In a more proper debate, one would instead politely point out that I shall do my utmost to explain a few facets of this confusing world around us. I'm not saying that facetiously; as people who know me decidedly realize, I always mean what I say and say what I mean. They also realize that Mr. Capraphile has gotten away with so much for so long that he's lost all sense of caution, all sense of limits. If you think about it, only a man without any sense of limits could desire to make me the target of a constant, consistent, systematic, sustained campaign of attacks. In closing, we must work together to spread awareness of the apolaustic nature of Mr. Admin Capraphile's undertakings. Together, we can make a difference. Forever and always.

Goats's lack of ethics has become so flagrant that it merits your complete attention. The issue here is that I like to speak of goats as "puerile". That's a reasonable term to use, I insist, but let's now try to understand it a little better. For starters, many of us are too naïve and trusting. It takes a lot of convincing to get us to see an organization as inherently simple-minded or inherently small-minded. Alas, goats is doing all it can to provide us with unmistakable proof that it is inherently both. For instance, goats alleges that its credos are Holy Writ. Naturally, this is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Let me end this letter by telling goats that I fully intend to make technical preparations for the achievement of freedom and human independence. This action is lawful. This action is moral. And this action is right.
First, the misinformation: Smontag suggests that he could do a gentler and fairer job of running the world than anyone else. Where the heck did he come up with that? The key to answering such questions is to realize that for Smontag, all roads lead to solipsism.

An understanding of the damage that may be caused by Smontag's boisterous, chthonic roorbacks isn't something I expect everyone to develop the first time they hear about it. That's why I write over and over again and from so many different angles about how griping about Smontag will not make him stop trying to repeat the mistakes of the past. But even if it did, he would just find some other way to address what is, in the end, a nonexistent problem. By now, the reader has discerned that "tolerance" means tolerance of all, not only of a select few. So let me just add that just as night follows day, he will advertise "magical" diets and bogus weight-loss pills eventually. Smontag's "I'm right and you're wrong" attitude is gormless because it leaves no room for compromise.

While Smontag manufactures crises over cronyism, his claque has been ripping apart causes that others feel strongly about. To say that we're supposed to shut up and smile when he says irritating things is sappy nonsense and untrue to boot. While I don't know Smontag's secret plans, I do know that there are few certainties in life. I have counted only three: death, taxes, and Smontag doing some subhuman thing every few weeks. Who is behind the decline of our civilization? The culprit responsible is not the Illuminati, not the Insiders, not the Humanists, not even the Communists. No, the decline of our civilization is attributable primarily to Smontag. In closing, it hardly need be said that the views expressed above are tentative and suggestive. You should now go off and perform a thorough study of your own. Of course, this will be an exercise in futility unless you accept the fundamental premise of this letter, namely that Mr. Smontag's grievances, which are constructions of dubious stability in their own right, are built on highly questionable foundations.

The only thing worse than being ignorant is not knowing how ignorant you are. That's the ballet mafia's problem. I want to share this with you because I must admit that I've read only a small fraction of the ballet mafia's writings. (As a well-known aphorism states, it is not necessary to eat all of an apple to learn that it is rotten.) Nevertheless, I've read enough of the ballet mafia's writings to know that I would like to believe that the ballet mafia acts with our interests in mind. I really would. But the ballet mafia sure makes it difficult to believe such things. For instance, it has nothing but contempt for you, and you don't even know it. That's why I feel obligated to inform you that it is easy to see faults in others. But it takes perseverance to knock some sense into it. All in all, I realize that this letter has seemed incredibly bleak. However, expecting the worst from the ballet mafia means we will never be disappointed. If we're wrong and the ballet mafia does not try to cement the foundation of our currently metastasizing police state into the law of the land, we'll be relieved. If we're right and it does, we'll be prepared.

In conclusion:

[img]http://i.imgur.com/jGtApQR.jpg[/img][/center]

Edited January 20, 2013 by Happy The Hobo

[EViL0nE]

AQUAHOGS en.. er, GET DRUNK!

hali, or something!

[killjoy123]

um beer is good?

[Hereno]

I'm not reading all of that. Is anything interesting in the OP?

[Facade]

Give'em hell, Fark.

[JudgeR]

I like to drink

[Toby Ziegler]

Good luck? Maybe?

[keeology]

i tried reading that wall of text. best i got out of it is Fark is going to get drunk. so have a drink for me my Fark friends.

[Mompson]

I read it and still had to check the war screens to see if it was a DoW. Typical Fark.

[Vukland]

Allies \o
Fark \o

[The Warrior]

Let us get a drink of whatever you've got.

[UltimateDogg]

[quote name='Happy The Hobo' timestamp='1358654688' post='3080621']
[center]
[b][size=6]An Official Announcement from Farkistan[/size][/b]

[img]http://i.imgur.com/nmt8hZg.jpg[/img]


Although I would very much like to pronounce an enlightened and just judgment upon this war, there are several obstacles that make it difficult to operate on today's real"not tomorrow's ideal"political terrain. I will briefly adumbrate these obstacles and then refer to them occasionally throughout the body of this letter. Before I launch into my main topic, I want to make a few matters crystal-clear: (1) This war goes ga-ga for any type of expansionism you can think of, and (2) as a result of that, a day of reckoning is coming, and this war will be called to account. Now that you know where I stand on those issues, I can safely say that when uttered by this war, the word "global", as in "global spread of racialism", implies, "It's not our fault". In reality, we'd certainly have a lot less racialism if it would just stop selling us fibs and fear mixed with a generous dollop of faddism. Many people are shocked when I tell them that I have no idea why this war wannabees have sprouted across the country like mushrooms after a downpour. And I'm shocked that so many people are shocked. You see, I had thought everybody already knew that this war claims to be fighting for equality. What it's really fighting for, however, is equality in degradation, by which I mean that this war likes to talk about how truth is merely a social construct. The words sound pretty until you read between the lines and see that this war is secretly saying that it intends to pursue a twofold credo of ultracrepidarianism and colonialism.

Relative to just a few years ago, fractious nincompoops are nearly ten times as likely to believe that "the norm" shouldn't have to worry about how the exceptions feel. This is neither a coincidence nor simply a sign of the times. Rather, it reflects a sophisticated, psychological warfare program designed by this war to support those for whom hatred has become a way of life.

Contrary to what this war would have you believe, it sees itself as a postmodern equivalent of Marx's proletariat, revolutionizing the world by wresting it from its oppressors (viz., those who transcend traditional thinking). Although the historical battle between good and evil is exemplified in the philosophical division between Platonic order and Aristotelian chaos, this war has allowed itself to become a spokesman for the same point of view shared by ill-natured lunatics, insensate mumpsimuses, and spiteful knaves while masquerading as an outspoken radical bucking the system. I unmistakably doubt we could beat this into this war's head, but this war is out to feature simplistic answers to complex problems. And when we play its game, we become accomplices. My dream is for tired eyes to open and see clearly, broken spirits to find new energy, and weary arms to find the strength to review the basic issues at the root of the debate. I would like to close by saying that this war gives new meaning to the word "balmy".

I clearly hope Umbrella gives this letter five minutes of its precious cappuccino-sipping, cancer-stick-puffing time. Let's start with my claim that Umbrella's unctuous magic-bullet explanations are a conspicuous landmark in the realm of incendiarism. I'll say that again because I want it to sink in: I recommend that we improve the lot of humankind. Umbrella may have modernized the appeal and packaging of its proposals, but horny proposals are horny proposals regardless of how they're presented.

I challenge all of the empty-headed blatherskites out there to consider this: In a rather infamous speech, Umbrella exclaimed that our country's security, prestige, and financial interests are best served by war and the ever-present threat of war. (I edited out the rest of what it said because, well, it didn't really say anything.) Doesn't it strike you as odd that Umbrella stands to profit from focusing too much on one side of the equation and not enough on the broader perspective of things? As this letter draws to a close, I want to challenge you, the reader, to educate the public on a range of issues. That's what I intend to do until my last breath.

For the sake of review, Mr. Capraphile generally tries to keep his distance from the worthless, balmy spielers who rifle, pillage, plunder, and loot. However, he sees nothing wrong with selling us fibs and fear mixed with a generous dollop of negativism. Ah the sweet, sweet smell of hypocrisy. Everything I've said so far is by way of introduction to the key point I want to make in this letter. My key point is that he frequently accuses his enemies of laying down diktats that force me to abandon all hope. This is yet another example of the growing lack of civility in our civil discourse that ranges from the scornful to the ethically bankrupt and even unconscionable. In a more proper debate, one would instead politely point out that I shall do my utmost to explain a few facets of this confusing world around us. I'm not saying that facetiously; as people who know me decidedly realize, I always mean what I say and say what I mean. They also realize that Mr. Capraphile has gotten away with so much for so long that he's lost all sense of caution, all sense of limits. If you think about it, only a man without any sense of limits could desire to make me the target of a constant, consistent, systematic, sustained campaign of attacks. In closing, we must work together to spread awareness of the apolaustic nature of Mr. Admin Capraphile's undertakings. Together, we can make a difference. Forever and always.

Goats's lack of ethics has become so flagrant that it merits your complete attention. The issue here is that I like to speak of goats as "puerile". That's a reasonable term to use, I insist, but let's now try to understand it a little better. For starters, many of us are too naïve and trusting. It takes a lot of convincing to get us to see an organization as inherently simple-minded or inherently small-minded. Alas, goats is doing all it can to provide us with unmistakable proof that it is inherently both. For instance, goats alleges that its credos are Holy Writ. Naturally, this is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Let me end this letter by telling goats that I fully intend to make technical preparations for the achievement of freedom and human independence. This action is lawful. This action is moral. And this action is right.
First, the misinformation: Smontag suggests that he could do a gentler and fairer job of running the world than anyone else. Where the heck did he come up with that? The key to answering such questions is to realize that for Smontag, all roads lead to solipsism.

An understanding of the damage that may be caused by Smontag's boisterous, chthonic roorbacks isn't something I expect everyone to develop the first time they hear about it. That's why I write over and over again and from so many different angles about how griping about Smontag will not make him stop trying to repeat the mistakes of the past. But even if it did, he would just find some other way to address what is, in the end, a nonexistent problem. By now, the reader has discerned that "tolerance" means tolerance of all, not only of a select few. So let me just add that just as night follows day, he will advertise "magical" diets and bogus weight-loss pills eventually. Smontag's "I'm right and you're wrong" attitude is gormless because it leaves no room for compromise.

While Smontag manufactures crises over cronyism, his claque has been ripping apart causes that others feel strongly about. To say that we're supposed to shut up and smile when he says irritating things is sappy nonsense and untrue to boot. While I don't know Smontag's secret plans, I do know that there are few certainties in life. I have counted only three: death, taxes, and Smontag doing some subhuman thing every few weeks. Who is behind the decline of our civilization? The culprit responsible is not the Illuminati, not the Insiders, not the Humanists, not even the Communists. No, the decline of our civilization is attributable primarily to Smontag. In closing, it hardly need be said that the views expressed above are tentative and suggestive. You should now go off and perform a thorough study of your own. Of course, this will be an exercise in futility unless you accept the fundamental premise of this letter, namely that Mr. Smontag's grievances, which are constructions of dubious stability in their own right, are built on highly questionable foundations.

The only thing worse than being ignorant is not knowing how ignorant you are. That's the ballet mafia's problem. I want to share this with you because I must admit that I've read only a small fraction of the ballet mafia's writings. (As a well-known aphorism states, it is not necessary to eat all of an apple to learn that it is rotten.) Nevertheless, I've read enough of the ballet mafia's writings to know that I would like to believe that the ballet mafia acts with our interests in mind. I really would. But the ballet mafia sure makes it difficult to believe such things. For instance, it has nothing but contempt for you, and you don't even know it. That's why I feel obligated to inform you that it is easy to see faults in others. But it takes perseverance to knock some sense into it. All in all, I realize that this letter has seemed incredibly bleak. However, expecting the worst from the ballet mafia means we will never be disappointed. If we're wrong and the ballet mafia does not try to cement the foundation of our currently metastasizing police state into the law of the land, we'll be relieved. If we're right and it does, we'll be prepared.

In conclusion:

[img]http://i.imgur.com/jGtApQR.jpg[/img][/center]
[/quote]


im in this alliance and i dont know what this means.

Edited January 20, 2013 by UltimateDogg

[souparmon]

Very well said

[Charles the Great]

your declaring war on full beer bottles?

[Gofastleft]

[s]I miss the days when a Fark announcement was must read.[/s]

Based on what 905 just posted I retract my statement for now.

Edited January 20, 2013 by Gofastleft

[905tf]

Nothing to see here, just our resident MoIA pulling a hilarious prank on his government.

[b]This is in no way an official announcement, nor was it officially sanctioned by Fark's government.[/b] Hobo will be thrown into the stocks and put on an ice tea ration for the next several days.

We apologize for any inconvenience.

[s]Would a kind Mod please lock and stock this thread?[/s] (Apparently, they don't do that anymore, apologies.)

Edited January 20, 2013 by 905tf

[Master Holton]

Either good luck, or you suck. I'll check the war screens and let you know shortly.

[BozDaBoz]

Go home Hobo, you're drunk.

[jsobota]

I knew about this days ago.

[UltimateDogg]

no one below the rank of high erector may post in here.

[DeathAdder]

I;ll drink to that. x3

[Avakael]

Will Fark continue their protection of Umbrella at this time?

[Diego18]

Next time post a link to your war stats so we can save several minutes

[jsobota]

[quote name='UltimateDogg' timestamp='1358655573' post='3080652']
no one below the rank of high erector may post in here.
[/quote]

And if you can still post after 4 hours, call your doctor

[bmckenna]

I fully support this message.