This Week in the Network

[Schattenmann]

[i]The ODN Elections Commission was in overdrive: sending out ballots, conducting exit polls, tracking participation. Even after 40 Senate elections, every new term brings all the excitement and frantic dashing as the first.
"Alright, people, that's the last SecGen ballot," Arco plopped the paper down on the conference table emphatically.
"Not that [b]another[/b] abstention matters," Ombudsman Palmir snorted, "Honestly, why do you drag me in here? What am I supposed to be overseeing?"
"Hey, there's a war, people are preoccupied. Next time will be better," Arco muttered, lowering her gaze to the table.
An intern shuffled some papers awkwardly, clearing his throat to comfort himself in the suddenly-heavy silence. "I think that the Network's commitment to democracy is a testam--" he looked up to the large monitor overhead, a momentary wavering of the screensaver putting him off balance, "--a . . . testament to the dedica--oh! Ohhh, no . . . "[/i]
[center][img]http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd425/TWiNetwork/Graphics/twin_elections.gif[/img][/center]

[center] [img]http://i52.tinypic.com/2qxmatu.png[/img]

[img]http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd425/TWiNetwork/Graphics/TWiNhost02-1.gif[/img] [/center]

Good evening, I am Schattenmann, your host for this second edition of This Week in the Network, your inside source for information on the world's second-oldest democracy, the Orange Defense Network. We've got everything you want to know about the most exciting elections ODN's seen in months, so hang on to your seats, TWiN is on!

But first, we lead with TWiN contributor Duckz and a reader response to TWiN1, Duckz:

Edited May 1, 2011 by Schattenmann

[Duckz3]

[size="4"][center][b][font="Palatino Linotype"]This Week In The Network: Reader Response[/font][/b][/center][/size]

[i]Hello Everyone, [/i]

My name is Duckz; after our first edition of This Week in the Network, I thought I would go out and get some responses from our readers about TWiN. So[b],[/b] I sent Agent Dawn and Midnight on a mission to find out what ODN's sheeple thought about our fine publication. Quite frankly, the results were quite pleasing.

[img]http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/aa148/Dff27/NewSSeS/cloverfield3.png[/img]

Well thank you Vitsen, I[b]'[/b]m very happy you feel this way. As you may now know, Justitians are renowned by our enemies for our devoted following of Dear Leader Schattenmann. To go further with our worshiping of Dear Leader Schattenmann all acolytes of the Cult of Justitia must earn a degree in Journalism from Yawoo University. With this degree, we are able to put out this fine publication. Personally, I believe the only reason you feel the way you do is because you secretly have a desire to be apart of Yawoo University, I have spoken with the head of admissions, Yawoo, and he assures me that while he cannot accept you this term if you continue to show your love of this fine publication there may be a slot for you in the upcoming semester.

[img]http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/aa148/Dff27/NewSSeS/cloverfield5.png[/img]
"Spying" is so very clandestine... we prefer to think of it as investigative journalism. Honestly, would any good stories ever get out without some brave journalists willing to do some old fashioned snooping? I'm sure you can agree with me (and if not I don't really care) that this is truly the best way to conduct journalism so that the people at home can see the facts.

[img]http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/aa148/Dff27/NewSSeS/cloverfield2.png[/img]

All of us here at TWiN are encouraged by the fact, that in the highest echelon of your government, you are considering declaring war on the Cult of Justitia for our investigative journalism. Truly, words are mightier than the sword.

Thank you, ODN, for your responses to our publication. Whatever you might spout in public - it's reasurring to see that you're so worried about our journalists. Publicly trying to denounce this fine institution of journalism when sweating bullets behind closed doors will get you nowhere. This is Duckz, sounding off and hoping for a brighter tomorrow.

[Schattenmann]

Thank you, Duckz, and now, the business of elections.

[b][size="3"][font="Palatino Linotype"][color="#000080"]Hold Your Nose[/color][/font][/size][/b]
[img]http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd425/TWiNetwork/TWiN2/SecGen.gif[/img]
Voting is an adventure; the creeps handing out fliers exactly 100.001 yards from the polling door, getting the clap from the ballot machines, scratching your nose before the purple ink on your finger dries. Then there's the candidates: as my aunt once told me, "sometimes you just have to hold your nose and pull the lever." So, when This Week learned the results of the Secretary General election, we weren't surprised to find that out of 343 members, only 45 voted--that's 13% for all you statisticians out there.
Running for Secretary General were OsRavan and Lucius Aerillius. The issues?
[img]http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd425/TWiNetwork/TWiN2/cloverfield6-1.jpg[/img]

Unfortunately for the people of ODN, Lucius pulled in only 40% of votes cast (18), leaving OsRavan in the SecGen seat for another term. A crushing blow for accountability in government.

[b][size="3"][font="Palatino Linotype"][color="#000080"]The Term to Come[/color][/font][/size][/b]
So, with OsRavan flying high on a mandate of [i]almost[/i] 8% of the electorate, what can the world expect during the next term? Let's let him say for himself:
[b]Foreign affairs:[/b]
[quote]There are TONS of political challenges facing us post war. ODN is emerging as one of the leaders of Bob, which is a very good thing, but it also means that we have a lot more work to do too. Our primary goal will be to focus on our existing allies. In particular, to make sure we stay close with GATO, who were our only allies to fight on a separate front of the war, continue CnG unity, and work on GA-GA interaction with Sparta.[/quote]
I know if I were GATO I'd be lining up for some ODN lovin'. There's nothing like being hung out to dry to reignite a relationship, eh, Os?
[quote]We will continue to have the same rigorous standards when it comes to treaties (There needs to be GA-GA friendship, Trust and reliability, *AND* it needs to make political sense. All three not just one or two.) ODN has an excellent FA team and our reputation is (trolls aside) that we are loyal friends with a good community who are not interested in torturing our enemies or anything other than honorable wars. As a result, we are in a prime position to work at healing rifts on our 'side.'[/quote]
Ah, yes, because GOONS, VE, Mushroom Kingdom, Fok, etc are so concerned about honor and are big-time moralists in opposition to torturing enemies. You've got your work cut out for you, ODN. If This Reporter may, I suggest you leave Snibbmeister at home when you go on those rift-healing expeditions.
[quote]Finally, R&R, once our closest allies in the game before things fell off, have also recently expressed an interest in healing rifts with us and getting to know the modern ODN. This is definitely something I want to pursue. We have a lot of good history with R&R, and at the very least it would be good to fully bury the hatchet and get a little more friendly with our orange compatriots.[/quote]
OsRavan is already hard at work on that "orange compatriots" thing; ODN diplomats have arrived at TOP and initiated the question-and-answer period that proceeds most TOP treaties. ODN and TOP will make a perfect couple, with MK chaperoning all dates, of course. RnR, I hope you like entanglements. No word yet on Os's plan to bring IRON into the fold.

I will give the man credit on his work ethic. You don't get 8% support for sitting on your butt and these are some serious plans.

[b][size="3"][font="Palatino Linotype"][color="#000080"]TWiN's Rock the Vote ODN[/color][/font][/size][/b]
This week, after seeing just how inactive the Network's democracy is, we here at This Week decided that what ODN needs is some good old-fashioned canvassing, some excitement put back into the process. We found it abhorrent that the general membership, the people who the government serves, are not sent reminders about elections in Planet Bob's greatest (sorry, GATO) democracy. What did ODN need? ODN Rock The Vote XLI
[IMG]http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd425/TWiNetwork/TWiN2/rockvote.jpg[/IMG]

Due to the efforts of TWiN staffers, over 200 ODNistas were reminded of the important issues in this term's Senate elections and urged to make their voices heard. Time will tell how our efforts stacked up. Call me a crusty old cynic, but I have a feeling the answer is "not much."

[b][size="3"][font="Palatino Linotype"][color="#000080"]The bros Knows[/color][/font][/size][/b]
This week, following the publication of the first TWiN, the Network hired renowned forum security expert bros, of the Mushroom Kingdom, to sniff out TWiN's sources. bros is a well-known fixture in Digiterran IT, having done work for every forum from this Open World forum, to IRON, to Cult of Justitia. When hackers attack, bros is your man. Naturally, then, instead of contacting internal affairs or the defense dept about his leak, OsRavan hired bros. bros has been hard at work stealing the IP and browser information of CoJ and ODN members via various means. Next week, following the publication of this second TWiN, the ODN will come to their senses, and instead of continuing to rip OOC information from unwitting rulers, they will sign a coalition peace treaty with the Cult of Justitia over 60 days after they could have avoided this entire episode to begin with.

Or will they?

[b][size="3"][font="Palatino Linotype"][color="#000080"]Neverending War[/color][/font][/size][/b]
Last week, TWiN included this little nugget buried amongst the tidal wave of screenshots:
[img]http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd425/TWiNetwork/TWiN1/pingu_app3.png[/img]
This week, ODN convinced its big bro Doomhouse to include a special article for an extraordinary alliance:
[quote]CoJ recognizes that their actions in this war, including the infiltration of a spy into ODN, and the threatening/misleading of the ODN applicant pool and ODN protectorate were wrong. CoJ hereby apologies for said behavior.[/quote]
Despite getting its way, the Network continues to threaten eternal war against this micro over leaflet-dropping. The incumbent Assistant Secretary General itseZe had this clever plan to share:
[img]http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd425/TWiNetwork/TWiN2/war02.jpg[/img]
Hee-haw; I hope Operative Midnight is watching, indeed. You have two wishes remaining.

After ODN's continued stalling on peace provided more time for further leaflet operations, Secretary General-hopeful Lucius Aerillius had this to say:
[img]http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd425/TWiNetwork/TWiN2/war01.gif[/img]
Though some speculate Lucius was warhawking to drum up support for his campaign, most analysts agree that he probably actually thinks that sending spam to nations is worthy of perma-war.

Senate hopeful Vitsen also got in on the game, floating a plan on a cleverness level not seen since HeroofTime's "honeypot AA":
[IMG]http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd425/TWiNetwork/TWiN2/cloverfield3.png[/IMG]

Finally JWZepf, having last week gone against the flow:
[IMG]http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd425/TWiNetwork/TWiN2/war03.gif[/IMG]

this week changed his tune in a telephone conversation with the leader of Cult of Justitia:
[quote]<JWZepf[ODN]> you know, just out of curiosity, and I don't mean to make any judgements here, why is CoJ not agreeing with an apology? I've heard the story from our side, I'd like to hear it personally from you
<Schattenmann> We haven't done anything that needs apologizing for
<JWZepf[ODN]> well, I mean, you did spy on us
<JWZepf[ODN]>
<Schattenmann> I spied on you after OsRavan refused to let us surrender and lied to the Senate about us not wanting to surrender
<Schattenmann> And, you were asking for apologies before you knew I was spying [[i]ODN demanded apologies before TWiN, and could not have known we were spying until TWiN[/i]]
<JWZepf[ODN]> it is what the GA wanted
<JWZepf[ODN]> and the Senate
<JWZepf[ODN]> I'm not meaning to try and convince you one way or the other
<JWZepf[ODN]> I'm just curious
<JWZepf[ODN]> and perhaps a little bored as well
<Schattenmann> JW, let's be real. ForSparta and Pingu were the only GA asking for an apology
<Schattenmann> Some other guys said "meh, that would be nice but whatever"
<Schattenmann> First Os said only if the Senate wants it, 4/5 Senators said "just leave it alone" then OsRavan said well if the GA wants it
<JWZepf[ODN]> It seemed to me that most were meh, to alright on it
<Schattenmann> I don't owe ODN a warm pitcher of spit, Os even lies about his aggressive attack on us [[i]OsRavan maintains that even though MK attack CoJ first, ODN is defending MK from CoJ[/i]]
<Schattenmann> Have you seen his logs with me and Yawoo? He won't even acknowledge that MK's organized attacks on us are a war
<JWZepf[ODN]> none seemed in objection to it
<JWZepf[ODN]> and more than just 2 people wanted it
<JWZepf[ODN]> I've seen some of them, yes
<JWZepf[ODN]> this is just me, but at this point in the game, we have enough on you guys to have a full CB on another war[/quote]

I guess now that MK has given them an implicit go-ahead by itself attacking NPO for things NPO already surrendered for, ODN figures they've got the right to declare new wars based on attacks made in a previous war. Nevermind that ODN has yet to formally present their apology term to CoJ, so any and all presumptions that we have rejected it are fallacious and ignorant. ODN's conniving, their plots to attack based on actions already surrendered for, go to the very heart of the necessity for TWiN's investigative journalism; no one can negotiate with a goverment which has so often and so readily and so happily lied to its own members, changed terms post-negotiations, and created one sliding scale after another to repeatedly prevent surrender. So long as the blanket of lies blinds, TWiN shall be the beam that cuts through the darkness to the truth.

And that's that for This Week. On behalf of everyone here at TWiN, I'm your host Schattenmann on this, the 60th day since the ODN first rejected peace with CoJ, wishing you all goodnight, and good luck.

Edited May 1, 2011 by Schattenmann

[Schattenmann]

[center][IMG]http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd425/TWiNetwork/TWiN2/standby.gif[/IMG]

[IMG]http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd425/TWiNetwork/TWiN2/Clipboard02.jpg[/IMG][/center]

We interrupt your regularly-scheduled post-TwiN hurrdurr for this special breaking news bulletin. With all operatives reporting in, This Week can now make an accurate prediction as to the results of Elections XLI, we go now live to the results:
[IMG]http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd425/TWiNetwork/vote_tally1.gif[/IMG]

The General Assembly has spoken. Finnish Commie, former head of The International, the big winner here in his first Senate run, also a long-time but returning ODNista Vitsen with a huge upset despite his inabliity to form a good revenge plan for CoJ, and of course newcomer scotch brings promises of returning accountablity to government. The big surprise here, Joracy, a veritable fixture in ODN government for most of its history being edged out by these newcomers. Also a disheartening first run for former GATO Assembly Chairman BarbulaM1, the man that let Chris Kaos back into GATO gov in defiance of GATO-NPO surrender terms; he's a real politician and I'm sure we'll see him run again in the future if not installed in a cabinet position. Senator Twazzlepop did not run, opening up that third seat to the newcomers.

All in all a big shakeup in the Senate, thanks for joining us today for this special Election XLI coverage, we return to your post-TWiN derp.

Edited May 1, 2011 by Schattenmann

[Badpoet]

First TWiN was better. Nonetheless, good read.

[wickedj]

Good read, Schatt but it needs more Yawoo

[Farrin Xies]

As always, an absolutely delightful read. Good work, gents.

[Yankees Empire]

I didn't get a mention

[Dagrr]

A slight improvement over last week's edition I think.

[Duckz3]

[quote name='wickedj' timestamp='1304281635' post='2703333']
Good read, Schatt but it needs more Yawoo
[/quote]
Yawoo is currently busy at Yawoo University training more Journalists. I would like to Apologize on his behalf, We hop to have him back soon.

[mythicknight]

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/Nbvsn.gif[/IMG]

This should be good.

[Schattenmann]

[quote name='wickedj' timestamp='1304281635' post='2703333']
Good read, Schatt but it needs more Yawoo
[/quote]
Unfortunately, a lack of contact with OsRavan--even though he has created yet another set of terms for CoJ--resulted in a lack of Os's World material. Hopefully, Yawoo will be back with more tails of the weird and baffling next week on This Week.

[WorldConqueror]

Heh, nice work Schatt, always nice to see a few holes poked in ODN's entirely undeserved self-image.

[Cataduanes]

[quote name='Schattenmann' timestamp='1304280456' post='2703322']
[center][IMG]http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd425/TWiNetwork/TWiN2/standby.gif[/IMG]

[IMG]http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd425/TWiNetwork/TWiN2/Clipboard02.jpg[/IMG][/center]

We interrupt your regularly-scheduled post-TwiN hurrdurr for this special breaking news bulletin. With all operatives reporting in, This Week can now make an accurate prediction as to the results of Elections XLI, we go now live to the results:
[IMG]http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd425/TWiNetwork/vote_tally1.gif[/IMG]

The General Assembly has spoken. Finnish Commie, former head of The International, the big winner here in his first Senate run, also a long-time but returning ODNista Vitsen with a huge upset despite his inabliity to form a good revenge plan for CoJ, and of course newcomer scotch brings promises of returning accountablity to government. The big surprise here, Joracy, a veritable fixture in ODN government for most of its history being edged out by these newcomers. Also a disheartening first run for former GATO Assembly Chairman BarbulaM1, the man that let Chris Kaos back into GATO gov in defiance of GATO-NPO surrender terms; he's a real politician and I'm sure we'll see him run again in the future if not installed in a cabinet position. Senator Twazzlepop did not run, opening up that third seat to the newcomers.

All in all a big shakeup in the Senate, thanks for joining us today for this special Election XLI coverage, we return to your post-TWiN derp.
[/quote]
[s]Finnish was a member of ODN in the past[/s] scotch was a past member. Also don't be too harsh on Barbula, he paid the price for that error along with a good many of us who were GATO during the war that raged because of it..surely it is about time Barb was allowed a little slack?.

Also I coined the phrase ''ODNista'' way way back in 2006/2007...I should have copyrighted it man

[quote]. ODN and TOP will make a perfect couple[/quote]
ewwww

Edited May 1, 2011 by Cataduanes

[GulagArchipelago]

Great read. I enjoyed it alot. Looking forward to the next one.

[Rebel Virginia]

[color="#0000FF"]Redeclare later? ODN, no, that's not clever. Quite frankly if you tried that most of Bob would laugh in your face, not that they aren't already. To point out what is wrong with your clever plan, first, CoJ's investigating was triggered by your unreasonableness (anyone with a brain can see that no threats were made to TPE, you're asking CoJ to apologize for something that never took place except in fantasy land). Second, the spying is unconventional warfare, done only because of the limited options CoJ has available to it.

I'm sure you'll disagree with all those, and that is a matter of personal perspective. But you know about the spying, as it is happening quite publicly. If you give CoJ peace in spite of this you waive all right to use it as a CB later on. Not that I agree you should punish CoJ for this, but even denying peace for a bit longer because of TWiN would be more reasonable than granting peace and then re-declaring several months later.

Really, I'm not sure who agreed that the idiotic idea Vitsen came up was clever, but trust me, it's not. It's about absurd as declaring war one someone several months after a war ended because they attacked you during the war. Really, ODN, you're pitiful and a joke. Although I can't say anyone would come to CoJ's defense if you did go through with it you would be giving up the little credibility you have left, and expanding a great deal of the little political capital that your corner will have left after this war finally end.

On a last note, ODN is becoming a world power? I'm just going to say that world powers do not need MK to chaperone their dates with TOP.[/color]

[Hereno]

Great read as always, Schattenmann!

[Jrenster]

I don't understand how spying during war equals CB for later. Are you people seriously considering that?

[D34th]

Very nice read Schat. I lol'ed countless times.

[Sargun II]

[quote name='Yankees Empire' timestamp='1304281764' post='2703335']
I didn't get a mention
[/quote]

If I had my vote you'd have been in

[Rebel Virginia]

[quote name='Jrenster' timestamp='1304283538' post='2703351']
I don't understand how spying during war equals CB for later. Are you people seriously considering that?
[/quote]
[color="#0000FF"]Believe me, ODN is not the brains behind that part of the world. I doubt their masters would let them anyway. Even despite how much they despise Schatt and CoJ, DH and PB expended all their capital this war, and have quite a few targets on them. If they pull another trigger it might backfire on them. ODN's clever little plan is simply something that they cannot afford. It would only put them in a deeper hole. Not that ODN has the sense to realize that.[/color]

[itseZe]

I'm pleased to be included this time.

/edit

[quote name='Jrenster' timestamp='1304283538' post='2703351']
I don't understand how spying during war equals CB for later. Are you people seriously considering that?
[/quote]

Read the post again, it's directly adressed to the spy (Operative Midnight)

That should indicate the seriousness of said post (or at least the redeclare part).

Edited May 1, 2011 by itseZe

[Hyperbad]

I must say I do find it humorous how ODN took lessons from Athen's Blue Balls War.

[Twizzler]

Well written as always.

[Ejayrazz]

ODN sounds a little jelly.