Jump to content

The Mostly Harmless Alliance Vogon Poetry Contest


IYIyTh

Recommended Posts

The shrill call of the raven

as she goes to the repast,

So elegantly prepared, shattered keel and mast

Warriors lay all over, besmeared and trampled

Brothers, Fathers and Son, now, reclining.

A feast fit for a king, as he arrives

Ambling along, bounding along.

Laughter and mirth resound

Spotted King, Quadruped King

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 63
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

A simple Classic

I feel something in me, this must be a feeling,

Do you feel what I feel inside of me?

My feeling?

I'm not sure what it means. This feeling.

Dark Skies Crackle with Artillery. No wait, garbage compactor starting.

Yes, the Monster Machine, crunch-smash-kerang, symphony of trash,

Illicits another feeling.

I feel something in me, this must be a feeling,

Feeling something, do you feel this?

My feeling?

I've taken a new job. Garbage Disposal.

Press the button, empty the trash. Heaven cries in sympathy.

Yes, with bright warning jacket I am Garbage-Queen,

Do I illicit your feeling?

Yes, I've felt something in me, a feeling.

I felt this move me, organs jumping inside anticipating knowledge;

my feeling.

I feel cataclysimically sad. Then I press the button.

Happiness returns. Another feeling. Let me tell you about it...

Edited by Sarai
Link to comment
Share on other sites

A trip to the Wilikins

(insert mogar meme here because it's filtered)

I s4id y3543rday

wh1le t3h m0dz0rs rimindid

wai i bao two thay

but den isawabiglight

cumin mai wai

n i died

Z! wAs Ma Fa43

n0 l0ng3r 31334

l1ke th0s3 kats a4 F0K!

WhOm WhIcH I wOuLd RaThEr EnJoY AtTeMpTiNg tO bEaT

4 t0 wich i no is t3 pwnz0r5

n dredfully QFT Z0mg

EvErLaStInG PeIcE

;)

:ph34r::nuke:

:wub:

like the war karma

on two'sday, the one before

we all fall facedown

Edited by zigbigadorlou
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Friday Afternoon Musings of a Lone Heart

I wish my love had not gone away.

I wish she was still mine to pay.

I wish this fly would fly astray.

I wish I wasn't me today.

The sun is hot like roaring fire,

the thoughts roll like a tire.

The BLOOD GOD is who I admire,

who helped me out of this mire.

Oh if I was just not alone.

I wish it wasn't friday now.

I wish I didn't call her a cow.

I wish you were still mine to endow.

I wish I could rhyme on something else than ow.

The friday keeps on dragging,

the spider never cease it's dangling.

The BLOOD GOD demands exsanguinating,

the corpse's stink is undulating.

Oh if I was just not alone.

I wish you were still warm.

I wish I hadn't brought you harm.

I wish I didn't eat her arm.

I wish she hadn't bought the farm.

The loneliness consumes it all,

the legs can barely stay the fall.

The BLOOD GOD rules in his hall,

the poet has no wherewithal.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

War on Cybernations:

After Baldrick

Type type type type

Type type type type

Type type type type

Type type type type

Type type type type

Type type type type

TYPE TYPE TYPE TYPE

Type type type type

Type Type Type - type

Edited by Hymenbreach
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Gaseous bellows of the midnight son,

Tell me something that was left undone.

Ignorant flickies of nasal rain,

Run like kittens to the flame.

Cheesey exudates of orifices drew,

Danced and jorobbled like rancid spew.

O! Piteous creature; the fecal constructor!

We Vogons must unleash the Planet Destructor!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

First prize takes home 150 tech, Second 100, and Third 50. Any winning nation who is currently embroiled in conflict may have their prize tabled at the nearest intergalactic bank until otherwise. Please submit your poetry in this thread, and be creative

:D . The judging will take place by the triumvirate of The Mostly Harmless Alliance one week from Friday June 19th.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

MHA's evil plan unveiled! They are hoarding Vogon poetry in their safe and when the next war breaks out, they will unleash it upon their foes to beat them into submission!

Oh dear lord I think your right!

Why did I give them ammunition to melt the brains of their enemies with?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

For My Feet

Oh My feet

They are important to me

They take me places

Oh Wonderful feet

Oh my feet

Yes sometimes you smell

And you have yellow nails

Oh but your wonderful feet

Oh my feet

I walk all over you

I wrap you up in cotton

Oh I love you wonderful feet

Oh my feet

You sweat into my shoes

and you make them smell

Buy you are wonderful feet

Oh my feet

without you I'd be know where

I owe you my feet

Oh wonderful feet

Edited by Sylveste
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh dear lord I think your right!

Why did I give them ammunition to melt the brains of their enemies with?

*Drakedeath cannot give an intelligent response due to the melting of his brain by horrible Vogon Poetry. However, he did leave a note.*

KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Trembling feline, will you OD on the catnip?

I really need to stop wearing green trousers.

the gentle sound of the scissors ..... snip

And there they will be found

because life is too short to think about why...

The Yam, however, could not be found

All I keep asking myself is, "Why? Oh, why?"

like ignorance and sanitation

My feet are smelling and my nose is running.

Oh, but for the snot on one's sleeve stumbled seven wenches in mass extinction

aren't you sick of reading

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"Ode to the fallen"

Thinking on your

pointless demise

too soon you fell

to that Cold clanking Whirring unfeeling Destroyer!!

I contemplate you

lying in rows

(not smelling of them)

looking like no more then 1s and 0s, here and there a 2

"FOUL BEAST HOW COULD YOU!!"

I weep

but no tears come

Sorry. :(

And then the end comes

the plow pushes

corpses unending into

the limitless graveyard. Countless are your numbers, vast, unending; THE HORROR!!! :o

Do you have souls?

Why did you not revolt?

refuse? refrain? Disobey???

Why must you march

off to war, like it were naught but a picnic, a party, a play? FOOLS!!!

So I sit alone

with iced tea

and cookies

and ponder:

"WON'T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE PIXELS!!??"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Swim with the deep

Be on the feat

Rawr with the splicers

And dodge the rogue blighters

Take some aid

And give some too

Be part of Rapture

To help grow your pasture!

Somehow people didn't respond too well to my recruitment poem.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

THE WAYS OF THE WORLD

The ways of Bob goes as thus-

If you squeeze the pimple,

out will come pus. {picking the wrong religion}

Young nations they say, will never rise to the top,

of course they will, all you must do is hop. {infra jump}

Strangers, shady men, top hats galore,

Ah what's the differance as long as you implore for help. {bad tech deals}

Fireproof vending machines, fake ducks, and frogsuits,

Where will it end? in the middle of a lawsuit? {demanding events}

Well Bob is quite interesting, if you want to know more,

I can choke and throttle him until he divulges,

more of his amaising, intricate bulges.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Time

Time is

What time is

It is everything

It is nothing

It is the greatest teacher

Yet it kills all its pupils

It is measurable

Yet abstract

It will never end

But for you it will

You have so little time

So why the hell are you sitting here wasting some of it reading my poem?

If you are still reading

You missed the moral

So waste your time some more

And read again

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...