THE BUHDOODA TIMES
FEARS OF WAR ESCALATE QUICKLY
Fears of war breaking out between the BUHDOODA Alliance and other nations have spiked an increase of purchases for canned goods, soap, bomb shelters, and Chris Rock posters. Bono, the Swedish Musician, has been forced to cancel his tour in the BUHDOODA Alliance, adding to the already tense environment.
Members of the public have expressed outrage at this cancellation, insisting that "bombs aren't really that big of a deal. Sure they send daggers of steel flying through the air that could make ribbons of a toddler, but that's not too serious. It's the gas you need to be afraid of."
Other citizens have urged their neighbors to tear down their houses, to make them less of a target for bombers. This practice has already led to the collapse of 16 apartment complexes around the nation, leaving 158 dead.
BUHDUHDUHDUH has called upon the people of the nation to remain calm and trust in the government at this time, ensuring that war will not break out, and if it does, they will most likely be used as cannon fodder.
This speech instead caused numerous riots and attacks against government buildings. The damage is so far unknown at press time.
GHUXALIA PLEDGES PROTECTION
Ghuxalia, the chief porker of the alliance of Sparta, has pledged his protection and support of the BUHDOODA Alliance, with some hefty requirements.
The protection comes as a single-nation defense, without the backing of Sparta completely. High commanders of BUHDOODA express hope that Sparta may come on as a full time ally, but understand bridges must be built first.
Another requirements was that the BUHDOODA Alliance does not get itself involved in international conflict. Some citizens claim that this is a form of prison, cutting BUHDOODA off from the grand scheme of things in their world. Other, more paranoid folk believe that this is Sparta's attempts to isolate BUHDOODA and make it a satellite alliance.
Word from different members of the military shows a mixture of hope, doubt, and even fear from the news.