The BUHDOODA TIMES
LINES FOR BONO CONCERT GROW
The Latest Line in The Capital
Famous Musician, Bono, will be touring through the DUHDOODA Alliance in the coming weeks. News of the fame Irishman sent panic throughout as tickets were sold faster than a iced bottle of water in the middle of July in Iraq.
"I just didn't think I was going to get any," one lucky man told us, clutching a set of tickets for him and his wife. Another man, badly beaten, told us that "they came outta no where. Bunch of U2 fans just jumped me and stole my tickets! I could have used a spy plane to see it coming."
As the Scotsman comes closer from his tour in Pacifica, the lines have grown longer for any possible tickets. Some have referred this to the "Great Bonossion."
Chris Rock, speaking for the government, urged citizens to remain calm as the Welshman approaches. "And if ya don't, we gonna cap y'all."
MULTI-CAR WRECK RUINS PARADE
RAW IMAGE OF THE ACCIDENT
A accident, totaling of 251 cars, 56 rigs, 19 buses, and 1 pogo stick, has resulted in the deaths of 3,297 drivers, passengers, and paraders. The horrible accident happened while the annual "People Against Car Abuse" Parade was heading down the interstate.
As of press time, nobody is sure of where all the cars came from, and investigators are currently picking through the rubble for clues.
The government has sent a request of aid from neighboring nations.