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Backstory I was working on

Mogar

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Basically, the plotline was going to be I was pouring my soul out to a bar maiden, hence spacing of paragraphs, I was telling her a bit more in between customers, that kinda thing. anyway, any thoughts or suggestions on how to improve the story, or merely any random things I could add, feel free to let me know, high fantasy world, dragons, magic, the whole sword and sorcery thing.

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My first memory was looking out of a basket when I was a year old, a woman had left me in a field, I cannot remember her face, but I knew it was my mother, an old farmer couple had taken me in upon finding me, and raised me as their own,

I was 6 I was off exploring the forest near their farm, when i was walking home I smelled smoke and ran quickly to see my new home burning, my adopted family murdered, standing there watching it burn for a moment i swore vengeance on the creature that had done this to me.

I searched the ruins of the home, only finding a short sword the old man had, My bow on my back my only other possession, I quickly learned how to live off the land, hunting and fishing to provide myself with food.

At age 10, I was forced to kill a man, i was awakened by the sound of a branch snapping as he was attempting to steal my limited possessions or something worse, I took his gold, and his weapons, more daggers and a better bow.

A few months later, I came across three wandering mages, they took me under their wing and taught me everything they knew in their twilight years, having been banished from their homeland for practicing forbidden magicks.

Learning how to summon fire was my first spell, i picked them up as quickly as you'd drink water, the power flowing through me quicker than any they had taught previously, they spoke of me in hushed whispers amongst themselves, i never could hear much since they usually spoke in the language of their kingdom, but after a few years of traveling I realized they were almost afraid of what i could do

We dealt with mercenaries on a regular basis, I became able to use magic far longer than my teachers, i understood their fear, after only a few hours of teaching they became exhausted, I could learn from all three of them and still want more, they soon realized they were unable to fulfill my needs, and sought out a Sorcerer's tower for me to have a true master to train from

Risestelth, a Master of dark sorcery was the one we ended up finding, my training intensified, each of the mages spending an hour with me, Risestelth spending another 9, and then 12 hours of food and rest, we did this for over a year, soon i was able to cast spells even my mage companions were unable to do so, without a word and with merely a flick of my fingers. Risestelth was an excellent teacher and was where I began to have an interest in the wonders magic could provide me, teaching me from his piles of rare and unique books, there I learned how to read thoughts, see through others eyes, as well as destruction on a scale you'd be unable to imagine

I had set out a word to the nearby village that had delivered our foodstuffs, and nearly 2 years after I had arrived to train, someone had finally spotted the monster that I had sought since I was a child, Risetelth understood my need for revenge and provided a final gift before I had set out, a dark red liquid, along with a book to explain how to make a more permanent version, I stored them both away and rode off to find my prey

The journey was a long one, it took me weeks to finally reach the monster's hideout, drinking the potion I felt my body changing, my muscles stretching and expanding, falling to the ground, i didnt utter a noise, unsure of how much the dragon could hear so nearby, the change happened rapidly, but by the end of it I had gained nearly 2 feet in height, my arms and legs over twice their original size, i felt power flowing through me, both magical and physical, I was only 16 when I slayed I first dragon

I searched through the beasts hoard of treasure, finding many books to aid in my quest for more. more knowledge, more strength, an insatiable quest I had set myself on. I learned how to hide my energy, becoming invisible to psychics and scryers. poisons were the same as water to my body with another book.

Unfortunately my trip was noticed by others, the magi were assassinated, left with no one, I sought revenge on those who banished his teachers originally and those responsible for their deaths, and set up a meeting with the king of that land. I was forced to disarm, they did not know my true power, looking like any other wander, they did not think to set up any protection for their King.

Upon getting close enough to the king, I let out a burst of fire from my hands, immolating the king into ash, leaving only a molten pile of gold amongst the black dust, the guards chose wisely to flee, and searching his private chambers I found a book describing the locations of dragons. Taking this and escaping with a mix of guile, luck and magic, I fled the kingdom and rode into the wilds, eventually finding a cave when he could no longer hold onto the horse

I slept for what felt like days, but I finally awoke to the sound of a branch snapping at the entrance of the cave, my eyes laid upon a woman of unimaginable beauty, flowing blonde hair, a bosom you could hide an army in, she was almost otherworldly, of course being young I did not realize the danger I was in, she came to me seeking help, but would not say from what, my teacher had prepared me well though, and maintaining eye contact i was able to discover she was not what she had seemed, a dragon in disguise she was, angry about my murder of her child

not letting on I had suspected anything, i walked towards her slowly, asking her who she is running from, what can a man like me do to help such a beautiful woman, and as i wrapped an arm around her back, my other shoved a dagger into her stomach, falling to her knees she looked up at me, her eyes pleading for life, in these last few moments i learned where her own cave was, and what wonderful treasures she was hiding inside

slitting the beasts throat I left the cave, not wishing to be there in her death throes, whistling for my horse, sir bartlby, I rode off towards the treasure I had learned of, after days and nights of riding, I walked over the mountain of gold, only interested in one thing in this den, finding the book I sought, I spent months in the cave learning and perfecting the spells inside.



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"they spoke of me in hushed whispers amongst themselves"

Too many writers fall into that sort of thinking in fantasy work. If those type of people are worried enough to whisper they would have slit your characters throat in her sleep.

More like they would be like "wow thats some good !@#$ kid!" in whatever dialect you present.

But not bad

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