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My Dumb Procrastination


thedestro

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Well it seems it has finally caught up with me (again). I had a thanksgiving weekend's fill of work to do, and I decided to put it all off until 11pm Sunday night.

It seems it's almost impossible at times to 'win' internal struggles. If you can call it winning, I don't know which of the opposing sides is "mine". And it's not like it's a real fight, you don't know the capacity of the side compelling you to do the work later or of the side trying to get you to do it now.

And the struggle is final. There is no outside influence. If the procrastinating side wins, it wins. It is my mind after all and I can't "deny" my own decisions per se. After the consequences of procrastination hits, the side that fought against procr. is now in dominance/control and beats me up for procrastinating.

Though it has many, many times inevitably lost it's dominance/control to the "other side" when the time of decision comes.

I suppose the only solution to keep myself from "switching sides" is to take the initiative when the good side is in control, and try to do something----anything to inhibit the bad side from winning or a struggle from even taking place.

Because I'm afraid that if a struggle were to take place, I (in a sense) would have no control over it and I would have to possibly succumb to the prevailing Procrastination. And I don't want to take that chance. You can sort of draw a parallel to any sort of addict avoiding their respective temptations.

Is this making any sense at all to you? I hope so, or I'm just a rambling idiot with no audience ^_^

And I am explaining this a little pretentious-y, and methodically but it's not as serious as I write it to be. Just some careful (private) thought into an issue of mine. So please don't mistake me for an overly analytical person.

Yeah, so well now (like right now) I'm trying to endure the mild agony of working half asleep =/

Long night ahead, good night to everybody /me inserts "trying to stay positive with a weak smile" smiley

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This makes a lot of sense to me. Seeing that it is 1:25 PM. I am supposed to be working on AP english homework that is already late. The due date for the end of the term is tomorrow.

*Curls up into a corner*

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