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Scorched Earth To 10 for February 6th


lamuella

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Hi, folks, welcome to another infrequently updated edition of the Scorched Earth Top 10, the list that showcases the biggest heaps of radioactive glass where nations used to be. Let's get down to business.

THE GRAVEYARD OF ARMIES: It's worth noting that the top 10 is filling up FAST with the corpses of wars since expired. The most destructive war on record is one of today's active conflicts, but the list is rapidly getting clogged with bodies. To get this top 10 I had to scroll past 26 expired wars. What this means is that we may be reaching the peak of destruction in this conflict. We're now recording a full 7 days of destruction in each war, and even for fighters of this calibre, conflicts on this scale will take it out of you. Our number one war for today (which I'll come to further down the page) may be the high water mark (or should that be high blood mark?) of the conflict. On future days, I'll try and report on the all time number one as well as the day's winner.

Anyway, the wars:

10. Matasumouri (The Imperial Order) vs CubaQuerida (Umbrella) 43,098.81 NS destroyed (92%/7%)

Qf6MCw4.png

Straight out of the "what was he thinking?" file, Matasumouri has a number of disadvantages in this conflict. For one thing, he was punching upwards an insane amount to even touch CubaQuerida. For another, CubaQuarida is also in a war with Matt Miller, and it's fairly clear who gets the nuking duties out of those two. As such, Matasumouri is catching one overpowered nuke a day in addition to other attacks, and has a limited amount of firepower to lob back. This war has another day to run, and I have the feeling Matasumouri will be glad to be out of it.

9. han fei zi (Filipino Heroes) vs OTTOTTO (DOOMBIRD DOOMCAVE) 44,204.52 NS destroyed (58%/41%)

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The first appearance ever by the one man alliance that is Filipino Heroes. I love the eccentrics in wars like this. One man armies, insanely powerful microalliances. Even Zulu. I love Zulu. They're having FUN with the game, and I think a lot of people have forgotten how. Otto holds a decisive advantage in this conflict, nonetheless, but as the war doesn't expire until the tenth, we've got a lot to see from both of these guys.

This marks today's first appearance by DOOMBIRD DOOMCAVE. Not that I'm counting that for any special reason.

8. Matt Miller (Independent Republic of Orange Nations) vs Xavii (Umbrella) 45,340.92 (21%/78%)

Ojs6XoM.png

If Cyber Nations were a sit com (and let's face it, it is), Matt Miller and Xavii would be applauded when they came in like they were Cliff Clavin and Norm. Two stalwarts who have been turning each other and everyone else radioactive this whole war. Xavii is by far getting the worst of this particular encounter, in part because of a size disadvantage. This is Xavii's only war currently, but he has had a string of bloody conflicts that have previously made the top 10. I have a feeling he'll be back.

7. HHAYD (The Phoenix Federation) vs Telchar (The Order of the Paradox) 45,522.31NS destroyed (57%/42%)

hdBMabm.png

The only Top 10 appearance for either TOP of TPF, this is a fairly clean, fairly even conflict. Both are at about 113k, both are defending in another war, both are their alliance's highest ranked nation currently in a war. There's blood on the canvas, and more of it belongs to HHAYD, but both men can walk away with respect.

6. Methax (DOOMBIRD DOOMCAVE) vs Pbaff (The Dark Templar) 47,382.69NS (9%/90%)

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In pro wrestling I think they call this a "squash match". Methax is bigger than Pbaff by a considerable margin, and has been using this size and skill to get some exceptional moves in on his smaller opponent. 42k ns loss on one nation over less than a week is the equivalent of doing a Tiger Driver '91 on the concrete.

That's two wars for DOOMBIRD DOOMCAVE so far. Just in case you were counting.

5. Methax (DOOMBIRD DOOMCAVE) vs Colonel Buno Taso (MOLON LABE) 47,896.25NS destroyed (6%/93%)

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If the last war was a Tiger Driver '91, this one is that chokeslam Undertaker gave to Mankind that put him through the top of the cage in their Hell In A Cell match. Methax has a brute force strategy that is causing some extreme damage to mid-upper tier nations. As the war grinds on it will be interesting to see whether this bears fruit. This is Methax's second war in the top 10 (and DD's third).

4. Zhakrin |(Independent Republic of Orange Nations) vs Colin40 (Viridian Entente) 53,138.58NS destroyed (66%/33%)

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A brave and admirable assault by this IRON mid-upper tier nation on VE's heavy hitter. I can see the strategy behind this, namely to wear the larger nations down with attrition, but at times it does seem like they're running into the fists of giants and seeing how much damage they can do to the giants' knuckles.

3. Methax (DOOMBIRD DOOMCAVE) vs anagent (Argent) 61,240.27NS destroyed (43%/56%)

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A familiar face in an unfamiliar position. Methax's other wars have been one sided squash matches. This one is more like Cactus Jack vs Terry Funk from King Of The Deathmatch 1995. You can give the victory to Methax over anagent, but there's so much blood on the canvas you can't really call the victory clean. Between the two of them, Methax and anagent have clocked up a jawdropping 1.5 million soldier fatalities. Considering that Anagent is a fair few sizes smaller than Methax, this deserves respect. On the other hand, Methax has three wars in the top ten, making him a strong contender for the title of craziest SOB in the war at this moment.

2. Matt Miller (Independent Republic of Orange Nations) vs CubaQuerida (Umbrella) 65,163.43NS destroyed (49%/50%)

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I love dead heats. There's something amazing about watching hostile intent and random chance produce almost identical bloodshed on both sides. Matt Miller and CubaQuerida are regulars on this list, and it would take a brave man to pick between them in terms of abilities on the battlefield. I am not that man. CubaQuerida has the size advantage here, but Matt Miller has performed some deadly attacks, giving him a knife-edge lead in NS destroyed. This war has another day to run, so there's still lots of fun to be had here.

1. Katsumi (Anarchy Inc.) vs Commander Bean(DOOMBIRD DOOMCAVE) 73,262.17NS destroyed (67%/32%)

IMzIQl6.png

This is DOOMBIRD DOOMCAVE's fifth appearance on this top ten list. Half of the wars on this list have a DOOMBIRD DOOMCAVE combatant. That's pretty impressive, but not quite as impressive as the sheer tonnage of NS blown to pieces in this conflict. 73,262.17. If the land, infra, and tech destroyed in this war were to be combined into a nation, there would be eleven thousand nations in the game smaller than it, and only one and a half thousand bigger. This is a titanic battle in just about the most literal sense of that term. Praise must be lavished on both sides, but the victory must be given to Commander Bean, who has decisive leads in infra, land, and tech destroyed. There's still a day to do in this blood and thunder scrap. Can Bean and Katsumi set the mark against which all other wars will be judged?

Wow, this was a fun list tonight. Lots of blood, lots of doombirds, and some pro wrestling references. See you all next time.

17 Comments


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How is it impressive again?

Just avoid any global wars that are actually a threat to your nation, have soft targets, and click "create my nation," about six years ago. Assuming you aren't deleted or run into any other trouble, it's a matter of game mechanics more than skill.

There should be a way to scale damage at lower NS's because this nonsense where only the two people nuking eachother with an ungodly amount of tech being considered " a serious war," is boring.

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If the last war was a Tiger Driver '91, this one is that chokeslam Undertaker gave to Mankind that put him through the top of the cage in their Hell In A Cell match.

AWESOME

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How is it impressive again?

Just avoid any global wars that are actually a threat to your nation, have soft targets, and click "create my nation," about six years ago. Assuming you aren't deleted or run into any other trouble, it's a matter of game mechanics more than skill.

There should be a way to scale damage at lower NS's because this nonsense where only the two people nuking eachother with an ungodly amount of tech being considered " a serious war," is boring.

If you want to set up a top 10 list where that happens, please don't feel like I'm in any way stopping or discouraging you. I'm just trying to draw slightly hyperbolic narratives out of fairly dull statistics, I'm entirely happy for you to ignore it if you want.

(also, Commander Bean is less than five years old and has total war casualties close to four million. Not really the mark of someone avoiding wars)

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Its hard to scale these since most nations fight with wingmen, and often trade off days when they nuke, so it skews results hard. Honestly, it would be more interesting to see damage done without nukes. That would actually be more reflective of what is going on IMO.

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How is it impressive again?

Just avoid any global wars that are actually a threat to your nation, have soft targets, and click "create my nation," about six years ago. Assuming you aren't deleted or run into any other trouble, it's a matter of game mechanics more than skill.

There should be a way to scale damage at lower NS's because this nonsense where only the two people nuking eachother with an ungodly amount of tech being considered " a serious war," is boring.

Please go sulk somewhere else.

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Great post, good to read something interesting in the sea of boring crap. It's also enlightening to see a realistic take on what's going on, beyond all the slanted/biased arguing going on in OWF right now. I also enjoyed the paragraph you typed about "Mike Miller" HAWWWWWW..........

good stuff, keep it coming, dawg.

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Great post, good to read something interesting in the sea of boring crap. It's also enlightening to see a realistic take on what's going on, beyond all the slanted/biased arguing going on in OWF right now. I also enjoyed the paragraph you typed about "Mike Miller" HAWWWWWW..........

good stuff, keep it coming, dawg.

d'oh. I'll go back and change it. There's a comic artist called Mike Miller and I was getting confused.

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