Dear Warmongers
I am insulted and appalled that you would dare start a war against SF. You guys have committed the crime of breaking my perfect record of being leader during all global wars.
It is written in section B, subsection J of Unwritten, Inane Rules for Warfare that "All wars must take place while sippyjuice is president of GDA." I am currently MoFA and GDA doesn't have elections for another month. I demand that you halt this insanity immediately until I can coup power and maintain my record, or I start tickle-torturing people.
If you can't tell I'm joking, I am currently selling stolen funny bones for 3M or 100 tech.
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