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Excerpts from the Uralican Daily News, 23 May 2010




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Grand Monument Erected In Perm'

PERM' - An obelisk with the names of the first five hundred members of the Uralicist Movement was finally erected early this morning in downtown Perm' after months of fashioning out of one of the last slabs of Uralican white marble. The names themselves are made of inlaid obsidian, and were very meticulously crafted by three dozen of Uralica's finest stone sculptors.

Included amongst the names are many prominent Uralican Tribal Council members, such as Movement founders Vaido Kuik, Meri Vanhanen, Lasse Mäkelä and Yevgeny Kolpakov, Uralica's so-called "spiritual leader," Dr. Matti Koppinen, Mordvin high school teacher and activist Olga Guznishcheva and her Russian husband Matvey Guznishchev, renowned historian, educational expert, and self-proclaimed "post-Ethnofuturist" Dr. Ovdey Shlomov, Uralican Tribal Chief Jarkko Salomäki, Norwegian missionary/relief worker Kennet Kjetilssen, who is credited with single-handedly saving the Kildin and Skolt Sami from the intense persecution they suffered during Great War III (these nine are considered the "founding fathers and mothers" of Uralica) and also four other religious leaders - Dr. Gunter Toews, the original leader of the Uralican Mennonite Brotherhood, Rabbi Shlomo Davydov, Archbishop Tamás Fehérvari, who would later establish the Archdiocese of Uralica, and whose reforms make Uralica's Catholicism distinctly Uralican, and finally, Metropolitan Nikolay Kosov, whose plea to the Russian people to end the Uralic Purges was a rallying cry for all Russian Uralicists.

"It's an absolutely gorgeous piece of art," said Jarkko Salomäki said upon seeing it. "The only beef I have with it is it's impossible to see Vaido[ Kuik]'s name because it's so high up on the thing! Ah well. They chose to do an obelisk, and it came out exactly as planned. And Perm' deserves it. This and Amkar Stadion are symbols of the city's new life."

Izluchinsk Area Finally Cleaned Up And Fenced

- It couldn't have come quick enough for the residents of the small city of Izluchinsk. After a herd of deer caused a multi-car pileup on Highway UH-35's southern fork roughly 12 kilometres from Nizhnevartovsk in the early morning hours on 9 May, the entire section of highway, and for that matter, most of the highway between Izluchinsk and Nizhnevartovsk, was closed down as deer-proof fencing was installed.

There were no immediate fatalities from the crash, however, three people - a 52-year-old woman, a 32-year old man, and a 41-year-old man with a history of heart problems - succumbed to their injuries in Izluchinsk General Hospital.

Deer overpopulation is an issue in some areas, as evidenced by the disgust shown by Gyarfas Szoladi towards the animals in the article run in the 9 May edition of this publication. The worst areas for it right now are various parts of Yugra, northern Permski Rayon (particularly around Nyrob), southern Central Uralica, and central Karelia.

In addition to the fencing, a controlled hunting effort has been undertaken in many of these areas to keep the populations at more manageable levels. Furthermore, trained predators are being brought into these areas, and on occasion these deer are relocated to wildlife ranges to become food for predators kept there.


Ecclesiastical Province of Kirov To Become Episcopal Conference

KIROV - Uralica's unique Catholicism has garnered enough recognition from Rome to attain the status of Episcopal Conference. It will still be under administrative control of Hungarian Archbishop Tamás Fehérvari as it was as the Ecclesiastical Province of Kirov, and earlier, the Archdiocese of Kirov (before Yamalia/Yugra/Karelia/Sapmi/Mordovia were annexed).

The change of name is mainly an indicator of the fact that Uralica's Catholic population - mainly Hungarians and Livonians - has grown quite significantly in the last year. The structure of the nation's Catholic hierarchy is now as follows:

- Episcopal Conference of Uralica

-- Ecclesiastical Province of Surgut

--- Archdiocese of Surgut

--- Diocese of Salyakharad

--- Diocese of Yekaterinburg

--- Diocese of Serov

-- Ecclesiastical Province of Kirov

--- Archdiocese of Kirov

--- Diocese of Tráty

--- Diocese of Syktyvkar

--- Diocese of Ukhta

-- Ecclesiastical Province of Saransk

--- Archdiocese of Saransk

--- Diocese of Yoshkar-Ola

--- Diocese of Ulator

--- Diocese of Cheboksary

-- Ecclesiastical Province of Viipuri

--- Archdiocese of Viipuri

--- Diocese of Cherepovets

--- Diocese of Arkhangel'sk

--- Diocese of Kondupohju

--- Diocese of Murmashi

Uralica To Become A Junior Patriarchate?

PAZHGA - It seems that Nikolay Kosov has gotten the attention of the Patriarch of Constantinopole.

The traditional spiritual leader of Orthodoxy, Patriarch Theophilos II, has spoken with great fondness about the 58-year-old and his commitment to Uralica's spiritual growth, as well as his thirst for social justice in all corners of the globe. His support of Kosov is nothing new - he was one of the first to congratulate Kosov's teary-eyed plea to moderate Russians to "replace racism and hatred with the love of Christ for all nations, tribes, and tongues" during the Uralic Purges of the spring of 2007. Although many extremist pro-Russian groups disowned Kosov as a result, many devout Orthodox Christians became more outspoken against those extremist groups - many historians in the area point to this period in time as the beginning of a major backlash against these now-marginalised elements.

Having recently published a book about these times and how they strengthened his relationship with God, Kosov was writing a decree to speak on in another major Orthodox city, Bucharest, when he received a message from Theophilos II, asking him to go to Constantinople to confer with the nine current patriarchs (Constantinopole, Alexandria, Antioch, Jerusalem, Moscow and All Russia, All Bulgaria, All Georgia, All Romania, and Serbia) on the possibility of making the Uralic homeland, where Orthodoxy is the second-largest denomination after the Uralican Evangelical Baptist Church, a tenth such patriarchate.

The Uralican Orthodox church has been a source of confusion as to which Patriarch it answers to - historically, it has been in the Patriarchate of All Russia, however this tie was severed by the then-patriarch of Moscow and All Russia without explanation in 2008, which left Kosov both furious and puzzled. Since then, he has maintained in contact with Constantinople and other major centres of Orthodoxy, such as Bucharest, Jerusalem, and Tbilisi, about the future of his nation's Orthodox church.


Kurri Cup Scores

HK Syktyvkar 4 Usovuoren JKK 1

(HKS leads series 2-0)

CSKA Kirov 2 Jokerit 3 (OT)

(Series tied 1-1)

Let's Talk Hockey

Hello again. It seems obvious from the fact that both games in the CSKA Kirov vs. Jokerit series went to OT that they are very well-matched. This begs the question - is Western monopoly in Uralican hockey finally over?

The answer in my opinion is still a resounding no. CSKA could probably beat any team from North or East with relative ease, and we've already seen how good they are on their own turf, Southern Division. But the West, for them, are still a challenge. Next season should prove interesting with the expansion and the playoff rules reverting to an NHL-style system where only the division leaders are guaranteed entry into the playoffs while the rest is based on league positioning, from fifth-place to sixteenth. Because how much are people willing to bet that Jokerit and Severstal are going to be ranked fifth and sixth respectively? Probably very willing. And I could also see the fourth-place team in the West from the regular season, HK Vuktyl, finishing quite high as well.

But this should be heralded as good news for fans of CSKA, who finished fourth in the league by a mere point behind HK Serov and only four back of second-place Sputnik Nizhny Tagil. With the schedule realigning so that teams don't have to play so much against their own division, I'd have to guess that the three Western giants will finish 1-2-3 in points, or perhaps 1-2-4 or 1-3-4 if CSKA really brings it. I wouldn't rule them out in the slightest.

Anyway, have fun watching that series - it should be a classic. Unless you want to opt for schadenfreude instead and watch HK Syktyvkar eviscerate Usovuoren JKK, whom they clearly outclass.

Plenty Of Good Football On Saturday

It was a great day to be a football fan in Uralica yesterday, according to the pundits at UralSportNet.

The day was studded with tight, exciting matchups and a few surprise results.

In the Bolakliiga, probably the only matches that weren't at least somewhat close were SiPS' 5-0 drubbing of FK Kirov, and Dinamo Arkhangel'sk's 4-1 Dinamo-stomping of FK Kotlas. We saw Trátyi TK give Dinamo Kirov a huge scare, starting by going up 1-0 and having a goal disallowed for offsides before Khavkuk Shlomov finally woke up. FK Kotlas kept FK Vorkuta to within one until one foolish error cost them the final goal in the 90th minute, allowing FKV to put it out of reach before stoppage time began. Spartak Ukhta and Dinamo Vologda played a fun, goal-filled affair, ending in a 3-3 draw, although 21-year-old Spartak sub Vilppu Marttila hit the crossbar in stoppage time with a wildly-curving shot, almost winning his team the match.

CSKVC Kirov couldn't've been more unlucky. They played their best football of the season and they still lost 1-0, after having a goal called back for offsides. The Udmurtiya Izhevsk goal in that one came with just a minute left in stoppage time.

And then, there was Telekom Pazhga beating a red-hot ZavU 2-1. The 'Kom got their winner courtesy of a brilliantly-placed corner by Diedrik Siemens (The Mennonite Maestro himself) finding Rick Friesen in the box with space.

The Ykkönen wasn't much different, with Mordovia Saransk and Turan Ukhta posting the only real blowout wins. Two other matches would appear to be thus as well from the scoreline, but both of those - Ural Y-burg's 4-2 win over ÖPK and Pechorski SK's 3-1 win over IPK - were only the result of stoppage time score-padding. Also, Fortuna Nizhny Tagil came back from 2-1 down to halt Spartak Yoshkar-Ola's hot streak with a 3-2 win.

Now to the Kakkonen, starting out west, where Sever Murmansk and Severstal Cherepovets continue to dominate (tied atop the league with 11 wins out of 11 matches each), SSP and Arsenal continue to suck, and everyone else continues to claw their way along. The upper table continues to be a close battle, although Mennonites FC are four clear of KiPS, Stolitsa Yoshkar-Ola, and Magyar LK for third place. Sysola Syktyvkar came back from a disappointing 1-0 loss against Stolitsa with a nice win over CSKVC Syktyvkar to remain within two.

Out east is a much different story, with Khalmer-Yu Town continuing to astound the pundits with their winning ways. How such success could have come from a town of only around four thousand people escapes many footy "experts" these days. Progress Inta and Energiya Chaykovsky came to a disappointing draw - Progress felt they should have won because of a controversial offside call that cost them a goal, while a win would have put Energiya two points closer to top. Instead, Progress is now stuck in an epic logjam involving six teams. Aggressive Rossia Krasnokamsk is third by goal differential while Nenets FK won the Battle Of Naryan-Mar, beating FK Naryan-Mar 3-1, to claim fourth. Also in the jam are Progress, Octane Perm', Obyugra FK, and two teams who lost - CSKA Vorkuta, whom Rossia defeated 2-0, and Russki FK, who got a shock 3-2 trip-up courtesy of CSKA Ukhta.



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