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Ya know what? Sometimes doctors can't figure it out

King DrunkWino

Entry posted by King DrunkWino

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This ain't CN for a bit kiddos. This is just the honest to goodness rambling of a DrunkWino.

So, I've got this pain in my side. Put your finger on your belly button. Now go about 3/4 of the way to your hipbone. My pain is there. It feels like there is a very angry midget with a knife trying to cut his way out. Ever been to the doctors office and they ask you to rate your pain from 1-10. My !@#$ gets cranked up to 11.

This is the 1 year and 1 month anniversary of the midget stabbing his way out and as you can imagine, it sucks major $@!.

I've been to every kind of doc from ER docs to gastrointestinal, appendix surgery, all the way to pain management. Here's a hint folks, when you get sent to pain management, it's basically the docs waving the white flag cause they just don't farkin' know. I've been to a couple chiropractors and now am taking some physical therapy (basically to get me out of the house and active,) and acupuncture. The funny thing is that the acupuncture is a Chinese man who learned in China, got a job in Sweden and the job shipped him to the US. Anyway this guy is actually pretty sure he can do some good. The other funny thing about acupuncture is when you get the glass bowls on your back. Anyone who's tried acupuncture has probably had this done. What the guy does is heat up the rim of mini-fish bowls and sticks them on your back. When I say sticks I mean he works the bowl to get a seal on your skin. It looks like maybe an inch of skin gets sucked up in the vacuum.

I'll have to remember to post picks sometime. It looks like I got in a major rumble with an octopus.

Anyway, back to chronic pain. Man, I hate that term. They call it chronic but you'll get your $@! thrown in prison if you actually get some chronic. That doesn't bother me too much, after all I get good meds. Anyone who's had dealings with me in the past year, know that I was probably tanked up on Oxycontin. Seriously, I got pills to calm down the central nervous system, muscle relaxers I'm taking three times a day at max dosing. When that ain't enough (which is usually once or twice a day,) I got some hillbilly heroin to fall back on.

I even have a cane I have to use because sometimes my right leg doesn't really work right. Cane, opioid based pain meds, and my mom even had lupis. I'm a real life House without the obsessive-compulsive puzzle solving needs. On the other hand, I do thing Lisa Edelstein has a pretty hot $@!.

So why bore anyone with all this beyond typical attention slut (whores get paid after all and sluts work for free,) reasons. Admittedly not much, just thought if anyone wanted a peak inside the drugged up nutball behind the DrunkWino, here you go. On the other hand, this being the internet and this being a game that can get addicting and time eating, I think it's a safe bet there are a few of you out there that have your own medical conditions. Some may not be as bad and (hopefully not,) some might be in a not so good position. Maybe it'll help you to know there are more of us poor ****ed !@#$%^&* running amok.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to quiet my midget down. 2 oxycotin pills with a tequila chaser...followed by a few more hits of the tequilla chaser.*

*Warning- You might not want to try that on your own. I have an unfortunate high tolerance for most of the good drugs, morphine don't do jack for me for example. Therefore I find the need to fortify modern medicine with some good old fashioned home remedies....at least that's what I tell myself.

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TypoNinja

Sharp stabbing pain? That's usually something specific. I'm surprised they've had trouble tracking it down.

Careful with that booze and opiates though dude, its not exactly safe.

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King DrunkWino

Careful with that booze and opiates though dude, its not exactly safe.

After a year, I can claim somewhat of an expert knowledge of quite a few drugs. Even get advice from an excellent pharmacist that happens to be a friend of mine. My wife actually brings her over to gauge my dosing strategies. I think she might even be writing a paper on it.

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Maelstrom Vortex

I hate to say this, but it is a primary symptom of irritable or inflammatory bowel issues. Do you have any other symptoms? Doctors do not have a firm diagnosis for IBS of either type because most intestines that have it look healthy in any test and it's causes can range from simple stress to a chronic neurological condition. The only other symptoms tend to be issues in the bathroom, otherwise, the pain and lack of any other symptoms could fit these. It would also be why the doctors haven't nailed it down as the science around the condition is so unspecific that it's basically a generalized diagnosis for unspecific intestinal abnormalities.

BTW, pm me if you respond to this as I rarely review blogs.

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Big Jeff

I went through years of pain, eight doctors, three surgeries, and a mountain of pain pills before they found my cancer. Don't give up searching. If you're hurting, there is probably a reason. Good luck.

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Ashoka the Great

I had chronic abdominal pain for about 20 years. The doctors told me it was an ulcer, and gave me prescription after prescription for Zantac, etc.

I was also tired all the time. The doctors concluded I was depressed, and prescribed accordingly.

My weight wouldn't stabilize. I could lose or gain twenty pounds with very little effort. But eventually it just started heading down. I'm 6' tall, and at one point I weighed 135 pounds.

Eventually they learned I had Hepatitis C, which I had contracted from a blood transfusion at 13. My age at diagnosis? Thirty-four.

Thank you, doctors. It only took you twenty-one years to do a blood test.

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As said above, that sounds an awful lot like IBS. (Which I also have.) It's a diagnosis that's difficult to get to, since it involves ruling out every other possibility.

(Parenthetically, there are a lot of diseases like this. Parkinson's, for example. Alzheimer's as well.)

Unfortunately there's no real standard of treatment for IBS. It's all about trying little things, seeing if they work, and moving on if they don't.

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About the pain meds, I spent ~a year on ever-increasing doses of Percocet/Oxycontin while awaiting back surgery which finally happened last September. My 'dosing strategy' wasn't normal, either. You do what works.

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"Lisa Edelstein has a pretty hot $@!"

I agree, but the face....

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