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I'm stuck to my branch. I'm so very scared. Help. (Details In Post)


geologist

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Alright, without going into too much detail, here's the situation:

I am ant-blogging in my boxers, and sitting on a branch that has slightly spaced out bark. Suffice to say that part of me is now lodged, and any attempt to move just pinches the necter out of me.

Can't move, need advice, soonish.

Oh god it hurts.

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2345, do you think you could distract the bird until I can get unsuck? I'm gonna try *quietly* chewing some leaves like 1674 suggested.

I think the bird is pretty interested in the red fire ant hill anyhow.

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I need Macguyver on this problem. Here's what I can reach without ripping my abdomen off:

vitamins

instant coffee crystals

pens

matches

picture of the queen

how do I make an abdomen releaser from these?

Set the branch on fire, then use the pen as a ramp to slide to the ground. Overdose on vitamins and freeze-dried coffee to dull the pain of your burns.

I think you know what to do with the queen's picture. Dog. :ehm:

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