OOC Note: The 270M I mention would be 180M in cash plus 3000 tech, which is what I could send in 100 days between now and when I leave for the CanIL Summer Program in Langley, BC, at which I'm not sure I'll be able to play CN. I will have a board mod do an IP check around the time. If I can play CN while at TWU, I'll be paying more than $270M equivalent, that's for sure
Sheesh, listen to me, I'm getting excited about paying reps! I really am insane.
Top Stories
War Over, Uralica Called Upon To Help Pay Reparations
VORKUTA - It was announced late last night that TOOL had agreed to surrender terms with the alliances it was at war at. Although the bill is an estimated 1.775 billion Kanadalainens' worth for the whole alliance, Uralicans are ready for the task of sending out money and supplies as required.
"We can send out the equivalent of $27M every ten days," said ERHDC president Ulrike Didriksen. "So we intend to be sending out at the very least $270M worth on our own. Being Uralic is all about self-sacrifice after all."
Salomäki Lays Down Law Concerning Refugees
SYKTYVKAR - In a statement issued today backed by the Tribal Council, Jarkko Salomäki set up Uralica's official policy concerning war refugees.
"Uralica should be proud of its role as a refugee haven," he said, "and to this end we've decided to make sure that our borders are always open to those civilians who wish to enter the nation during times of war. However, as we did this war, we made sure with those nations' governments that the civilians were legit. We are no safe haven for terrorists or people with skewed world views. We did intercept a couple, but thankfully, this war has seen very few, and the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ has been shown through our actions towards these many refugees.
So we have passed the official Refugee Solidarity Act today. Here's how it goes:
1. Any civilian citizen of any nation(s) involved in war, that Uralica itself is not involved in, can apply for refugee status within Uralica, regardless of race, ethnicity, or ethnic background.
2. Upon cessation of hostilities, the refugees may return home. If their home was destroyed, the Uralican government offers to pay up to 50% of the cost of rebuilding.
3. If a refugee wishes to become a Uralican citizen, they must follow the Uralican Citizenship Act, with this exception:
3.People wishing to become a Uralican citizen must:d. have lived in Uralica for at least 3 years.
This number is reduced to 16 months in the case of a verified refugee. Still necessary are the necessity to learn two of Finnish, Russian, and/or English, the requirement of previous permanent status (which is instantly filed for in the case of a refugee), and the requirement of a background check (also done automatically). Teachers for refugees can be found in any settlement with town status or higher."
The announcement comes amidst rumblings that the war - at least on TOOL's front - may soon be over.
Uralican Stocks Have Levelled Out
YEKATERINBURG - Apparently, the demand for Uralican metal and metal products is still high enough that even a deep recession caused by war would not push stocks in Bolak Corp., Magyar Independent, or Gornyak Uralika any lower. Most other stocks have also levelled out, according to leading economist Esa Miettinen, mainly because people are still buying in spite of the increasing price of goods.
Once the war is over and rebuilding and the payment of reparations begin, Uralican stocks in the mining industry are expected to bounce back quite dramatically as nations look to Uralica for various metals.
Sports
The Clock Strikes Midnight For Kilpi's Two Cinderellas
KIROV - Khalmer-Yu's dream run has come to an end, but not before impressing one of the favourites to win the tournament. Khalmer-Yu Town, a member of the Nelonen Division H1, lost 2-1 to Dinamo Kirov, with both goals being scored by Khavkuk Shlomov. However, the game was closer than the Blues expected it would be.
"Oh they're better than their league lets on, no question there," said Dinamo's half-Chuvash manager Galim Rakhmatullin. "They gave us the talent level one would expect from a low-mid-table Bolakliiga team, and a work ethic better than any team I've ever seen, my own included. Latest I've heard is that the Bolakliiga intends to file a request to the [uralikan Jalkapalloliiga] to have them switched with a Kolmonen team that went out early, and I think that's honestly understating them. They would win a division in the Kakkonen, forget the Kolmonen or Nelonen, if they played that kind of football."
Khavkuk Shlomov, regarded as Uralica's best footballer, added this:
"I was in shock that they played such good football and yet are stuck in the lowest level. I'm tempted to take up a collection to get them put in the Kakkonen or something. They're an all-around good team, but Voloshenin in particular I think will get some looks from the national team. Or at least he should - I hope Raimond Kuik is listening."
Teary-eyed Voloshenin admitted flattery at the comparison in an interview.
"Coming from the best player in Uralica, that means a hell of a lot," he said. "I hope it goes down in the annals that we gave it everything we had and more, and that Dinamo Kirov was just too good for us in the end."
Nelonen-F2 team TvinkiZavod Chaykovsky was also eliminated, 3-2 at the hands of Amkar Perm', getting the same kind of response from the opposition as Khalmer-Yu - generally that of respect and hope that the UJPL would consider moving them up a level.
Scores From Round of 16
(1) SiPS 4 Severstal 0
(9) D. Vologda 0 (8) S. Ukhta 2
(5) M. Kirov 1 (12) ZavU 2 (AET)
(20) CSKVC Kirov 2 (4) D. Arkhangel'sk 4
(3) D. Kirov 2 Khalmer-Yu 1
TvinkiZavod 2 (6) Amkar 3
(7) KJK 1 Telekom 0 (AET)
(18) TraTK 3(5) (2) U. Izhevsk 3(4)
Three Teams To Be Promoted - Farkas
CHAYKOVSKY - in spite of losing in the round of 16, three teams have impressed the Uralikan Jalkapalloliiga board enough that they will be promoted at the expense of other, less successful teams in the division above, according to Uralikan Palloliitto president Attila Farkas.
Having attended the TvinkiZavod loss to Amkar Perm', he was on hand to break the news to Twinkie Tiger fans that their team would start this season in the Kolmonen-F instead of the Nelonen-F2. Ural Perm', who lost 4-0 to Sokol Sernur in the first round, moves down to the F2, which is based in the southern half of Permski Rayon.
They weren't alone in this. The feel-good team of the year, Khalmer-Yu Town, who defeated two Bolakliiga teams - fourteenth-seeded FK Kotlas in the 5th round and 19th-seeded Transit Sosnogorsk two rounds earlier - before losing to Dinamo Kirov yesterday, were actually bumped up two levels and will play in the Kakkonen East this season, creating a chain effect:
To Kakkonen: Khalmer-Yu Town
To Kolmonen H: Majak Punaturjin
To Nelonen H1: Dinamo Vorkuta
Finally, Severstal Cherepovets will replace Burevestnik Vologda in the Kakkonen West.
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