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Tiger Day Celebrations Light Up Uralica

CHAYKOVSKY - Free Twinkies for all and giant white-tiger floats were part of the festivities in Chaykovsky yesterday, as Uralica celebrated the first anniversary of STA getting out of terms of the War of the Coalition early. Chaykovsky was only one example of the festivities that took place, however it is in this city that the festivities are the most exuberant, given how Crown Prince Mishka of Tygaland, the leader of the STA, dubbed Chaykovsky his favourite Uralican city because of its Twinkie production. (Twinkies are "Tyga's" favourite snack food.)

In other cities, there were some interesting displays. Syktyvkar, for example, had a massive fireworks display at the Uralic Cultural Centre. The Tiger Range (an 8000-acre plot of fenced land just north of Kuiksk, Yugra, where several dozen Siberian tigers, including many white tigers, basically roam free and have deer and other game "let in" daily so they can hunt) has "Tiger Tours" done by jeep, but on Tiger Day they were free.

In Troitsko-Pechorsk, Central Uralica, the celebration took on a dual meaning, as records have it that Ionizer, the ruler of the first nation to be hit by Uralica, was killed by a Siberian tiger near the town while trying to escape after being caught trying to spy on the nation. So the parades included effigies and paintings of Ionizer being attacked by a tiger.

Jarkko Salomäki, Uralica's ruler, spent the day in Chaykovsky, though, handing out free Twinkies (he claims not to like them himself, but he knows plenty of Uralican folk who do).

Agryz District Now Part Of Udmurtiya South

AGRYZ - it was made official today that Agryz District, which was isolated from the rest of Tatarstan by the Nizhnekamskoye Reservoir, had become part of Uralica.

The district only has one large settlement - Agryz, the district seat - and according to Ovdey Shlomov, even that is not yet large enough to register for city status.

The district is currently 100% inhabited by Christian Tatars, and the Tatar language is now a "recognised regional minority," effectively giving it official status within Udmurtiya South, of which it is now a part.

Rufat Khabibulin, mayor of Agryz, has called this a great opportunity for his people.

"Becoming a part of Uralica gives us the opportunity to have open fellowship with Christians of other ethnicities," he says, "plus the economic situation in Uralica will let our people prosper so we can give more. The people are very welcoming and friendly, and the businesses run themselves with solid Kingdom-minded ethics. The only hard part will be learning Udmurt!"

Jarkko Salomäki, who was in Chaykovsky at the time, was thrilled at the turn.

"This is good for way more than just neatening borders," he said. "Having been to the region, I can safely say that the people of that area are some of the friendliest people you'd meet anywhere, and they work very hard. They're the type of people any Uralican business would want to hire, and the type any church community would value. Awesome people, the lot of 'em. And I already speak a little Bashkir, so Tatar wasn't too too hard to pick up."

Sports

Farkas - Fifth Level Of UJPL Is Inevitable

SYKTYVKAR - speaking from the Uralikan Palloliitto head office in the Ezhva district of Syktyvkar, the chair of Uralica's football federation says it's only a matter of time before a fifth division is added to the Uralican football league system.

"There are too many cities and towns in Uralica without pro clubs," says Farkas. "On top of this, the number of clubs still applying are astronomically high. It's only a matter of time before we see a fifth division - a Nelonen, so to speak - that would take teams going down from the Kolmonen. This may even be complete in time for this coming season."

Jarkko Salomäki says a fifth level will be good for the development of football in Uralica.

"This will be a great opportunity for young aspiring footballers to break into the professional game," he said. "Sixteen new divisions can do that, y'know."