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Excerpts from Uralican Daily News, 3 January 2010 Edition




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State Funeral For Filipov Packed To Capacity

PAZHGA - The massive Church of the Resurrection had to put seats in the lobby for the funeral of Vladimir Filipov, a 69-year-old Russo-Mari Uralicist who had been a long-time member of the Uralican Tribal Council, and one of Jarkko Salomäki's most trusted advisors. He passed away from complications of bacterial pneumonia on Friday morning after having been gravely ill for a week. The funeral was held Saturday afternoon.

Dr. Matti Koppinen, DD, handled the service, and did the eulogy as well. Perhaps the most notable paragraph of this eulogy was as follows.

"It could be said of Vladimir Filipov that he lived to live out Scripture, in the sense that he would always try to do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God. He stood up for what was right, sacrificing his time and his reputation amongst men to stand up against the evils that took place during the Purges. He was quick to show mercy when someone admitted to wrongdoing and showed true repentance. And he was one of the most down-to-earth people I had the privilege of knowing. He had the right attitude, the right mindset towards both God and people. His presence will be greatly missed on the Council, the Board, and in the lives of the many people he touched through his words and deeds."

After the service, we caught up with a teary-eyed Jarkko Salomäki, with both of his parents behind him.

"It all happened so quickly," he said, trying to stay composed. "It was a really saddening way to go for such a great man. But he always did have issues with his lungs - asthma and what not. When the pneumonia hit, some of us figured that his time had come. But he was a dear old guy and we're all gonna miss him like you wouldn't believe."

He will be laid to rest in a private family ceremony in Yulser-Ola, Mari El, on Thursday.

Uralican Tribal Council Condemns "Blasphemous" Wars Against CCC

SYKTYVKAR - The Uralican Tribal Council Hall's main chamber was filled with anger and outrage on Sunday afternoon. The Council Members returned from church to find that their inbox contained a message from the Chief, saying that Mother Land, a nation that was once called "brother" by Uralica, had launched a nuclear war against a member of the Christian Coalition of Countries, not for any legitimate reason, but out of hatred of Christians.

It would seem that this nation was not the only one, as the ironically named AGreatNation, flying the alliance affiliation of the Global Defence Initiative (political pundits suggest his actions show all the markers of a "ghost"), has been on a seeming crusade against the CCC due to their defence of the nation of Spirit World against his "boredom."

The CCC was swift to act upon both, and as such are currently in a state of war against both nations. However, the uproar in the Council Hall was enough to make Jarkko literally roar for order.

After the awkward silence that followed, Jarkko suggested that the best way to handle the wars in question is to offer assistance and disseminate the possibility of aid, to both the nation warred against by Mother Land (that is, Ramstonia), and also to the CCC on the whole. With the Transfiguration Pact (CCC-TOOL PIAT/ODP) coming into play, making this happen would be simple, and therefore a motion was made by Vaido Kuik, and seconded by Maksim Kingisepp, that the proposal go through. The acception was unanimous.

Afterwards, we managed to get a hold of Lasse Mäkelä.

"AGreatNation? Pff... he's in their pocket," he snickered. "That nation's hatred and unwarranted desire for vengeance... I think Jarkko used the term... 'butthurt'... will be its ultimate downfall. He will be an enemy of Uralica unless he turns from his evil. As for Mother Land, I think the entire Council is absolutely incensed at his blasphemous treatment of our Ramstonian brothers and sisters. I get the feeling UralTek is going to be getting a phone call from the boss to step up their production of technological consumer-goods, because Jarkko seems heaven-bent on sending Ramstonia supplies, and not one of us is gonna have a problem with that. I pity the civilians that allowed that madman JNeiman to start an unprovoked war against an innocent nation, and I hope they come to their senses and get out of there before the nukes really start flying."

Uralican News

Mari Board Chooses Environmentalist Replacement For Filipov

YOSHKAR-OLA - With the recent death of Vladimir Filipov, a Tribal Council member, the Mari Tribal Board had the unenviable task of selecting his replacement as Council Member, within a period of 24 hours. They somehow managed it in twelve, and their choice was Yulya Kalikayeva, a native of Viche Alan, Kirovski Rayon.

The 30-year-old Mari has a mostly academic resume, being a PhD student in Environmental Studies at Uralikan Yliopisto, with her Master's thesis having been done on the current ecological state of the Vyatka River, which flows by many major Uralican centres, most notably Kirov. She had done her BA (Political Science/Geography double major) in the United States and her MA (Environmental Studies) in Canada - in fact, at the University of Victoria around the same time Jarkko Salomäki was doing a BA in linguistics - and because of her background, she was hired to help with the cleanup project concerning the then heavily-polluted Pechora River.

Because of her political science background, Yulya was asked to get involved in the Mari Board by Yevgeny Kolpakov, who was (and currently is) head of the Mari Tribal Board, as well as a member of the Uralican Tribal Council. She was first elected to the Board in March of 2009.

Yulya will serve on the Board until the end of this month, when elections run.


Numminen To Have Tenth Symphony Finished By 18 March

SYKTYVKAR - Uralican "national treasure" Sirkka Numminen, whose portfolio includes over 300 musical pieces dating back all the way to 1985 (when she was eight years old!), has been working on her tenth full-sized symphony, and in a recent interview concerning her rollicking "2010" piano concerto, which was published on New Year's Day and played in concert the following night in a packed Filharmonia, she said the symphony will be done and published by the second anniversary of the founding of Uralica, 18 March 2010.

"You'll love this one," she says. Gee, don't we love all her music already? "It's in F major, and I'm going big for sound here. Only the Uralican Symphony Orchestra will be able to manage this one." By the sounds of this comment, she's going to have a lot of instruments one won't find in a normal symphony.

She says her next publication (before the symphony, that is) is likely to be something smaller, likely a string quartet.



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