Rontastic Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 The clean shaven have gone to great lengths to protect themselves from the wrath of Carlos in this latest global calamity. Rather than growing their mustaches out well, as those who are in his sight must do, the clean shaven have openly defied the will of Carlos, calling to their aid razors and shaving cream in their quest for blatant immorality. Because the clean shaven shave, which is not in the will of Carlos, they can never change. He who defies the will of Carlos shall remain forever in defiance of Carlos’ will. They have mercilessly AND WITHOUT cause cut down thousands of facial hairs, engineering their utter destruction and furthermore using said facial hairs to feather the nest of birds, squirrels, and other arboreal mammals. We cannot allow any chance of a return to power by the clean shaven. For years they removed all facial and other bodily hairs with a steel razor. They engineered a multitude of first strike "shavings," the most grossly abusive among them being the glibly named Dirty Hippy Shaving against Timothy Leary. Never one to face a hair with an even remote chance of victory, and always one to cut down the weak and the vulnerable, the clean shaven were a true master of the early morning shave. They could not only keep down the hair, but they had maneuvered the grooming styles of the day such that they could do so with impunity. Recently, the Order of the Paradox tried a shaving as a gambit against the Complaints and Grievances Union. The shaving, a clinic in military skill and precision, was doomed mostly due to the unruly nature and utter lack of style of George Carlin’s hair. While they showed infinitely more bravery than the clean shaven, in attempting to shave a foe with such unruly hair and utter lack of style, they also taught a great lesson. A shaving is not deplorable when against a foe of unruly facial hair, but one must make sure their razor is very sharp before doing so. Or, perhaps it is even more simple than that. Maybe it's just a matter of of a different sense of style. Maybe it is because we believe that Everything. Must. Be. Shaved. Maybe it is because we think you deserve to be stylish. It doesn't actually matter. Whatever reason we decided to state, our foes would take their own, believe it, and attempt to spin it to their benefit. I welcome them to try. I wish them good luck, even, for they will surely need it. As for us? We always hear people saying "Shave that nasty stache!" with great disgust, so how about this? /s/ Carlos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudolph Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 This speaks volumes about the current state of shaven faces on this world. May the will of Carlos be embraced o/ Carlos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acca Dacca Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 [img]http://i272.photobucket.com/albums/jj163/afostercook/Mustache.jpg[/img] This war just got hairy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wickedj Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 We will not have mercy on you [img]http://i54.tinypic.com/2zh0db7.png[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avakael Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 So... who or what is is DoW against? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wickedj Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 [quote name='Avakael' timestamp='1295935937' post='2599087'] So... who or what is is DoW against? [/quote] Do you have facial hair? if no then the answer is you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rontastic Posted January 25, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 [quote name='Avakael' timestamp='1295935937' post='2599087'] So... who or what is is DoW against? [/quote] You, sir, sound as though you're not speaking through a mass of facial hair covering your upper lip. You're one of 'them.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Stupid Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 Roll Stache Roll. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R3nowned Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 I apologise, I just shaved. Bring it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrin Xies Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 I for one welcome our new mustachioed overlords. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silver Empress Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 o/ Carlos Keep doing what you're doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wickedj Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 [quote name='R3nowned' timestamp='1295936451' post='2599140'] I apologise, I just shaved. Bring it [/quote] you MONSTER! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keelah Posted January 25, 2011 Report Share Posted January 25, 2011 Joke topic closed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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